The TRUE Purpose of Tetsaiga
by The Inu-pup
Summary: Tetsaiga's true purpose comes out. Will Inuyasha be able to handle the truth? And in the end, will Inuyasha choose the woman he is supposed to love, or the man he was meant for from birth? InuKag, InuSessh, Yaoi, Yuri, and loads of trauma & angst
1. Unvieling

WARNING

**WARNING!**

**The Yaoi doesn't happen until many chapters ahead. But there will be Yaoi and good quality Yaoi too! HAVE PATIENCE!!**

Full Summary:

Tetsaiga's true purpose comes out. It not only seals Inuyasha's blood, but it seals his true form. Will Inuyasha be able to handle the soul-shattering truth? And in the end, will Inuyasha be able to choose the woman he is supposed to love, or the man he was meant for from birth?

Contents:

**Planned**

InuKag: in Yuri form and as heteros

InuSessh: in Yaoi form and as heteros

Yaoi, Yuri, and incest. OH MY!

loads of Inu-confusion & angst

And of course there's the possibility of a lil Monk/demon slayer luvinluvin.

**Written**

Inu-Sesh fluff (inu as girl)- chp 4. Stranger and Stranger **&**chp 6. A Victory

Inu-Kags fluff **&** HalfLemon (inu as girl)- chp 13. Relapse

Also, since I am a comedy writer, there might be a few funny, humorous points in the story, like in the beginning when all is fine and well, but there are some serious and angsty plotlines that hit, after chapter 5 and ESPECIALLY in chapter 8. At any rate, Enjoy the fic.

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Inuyasha dug his claws into the dirt to slow down his flight across the meadow. The rest of the gang stood poised to fight. Their leader had gotten himself into a mess again, and his legendary stubborn pride had kept them from helping. But now it would not stop them.

The evil laughter of their current foe chilled everyone to the bone, for the unthinkable had happened; Through the trick of borrowing a human limb, Sesshomaru had gotten a hold of Tetsaiga... Again.

"Now you shall know your end, little brother." The older demon spat, "And return to what you once were!"

Strangely, instead of a horrendous blast of the Wind Scar that would rend them all to pieces, a blast of fire from the sky forced Sesshomaru back. Totosai had come to their rescue! Wait... What?! The gang would have been asking some serious questions if they weren't so greatly relieved to not be dead.

"Now, Now, Sesshomaru. If you two can't stop fighting over Tetsaiga, then I'll take my pretty back."

"Afraid to tell him the truth, are we? I'm sick and tired of being denied what's mine!" Sesshomaru growled.

This was a delicate balance going, one that could be upset at any moment. For some reason it seemed Sesshomaru was not going to wipe them all out. Kagome turned her head and saw Inuyasha about to open his trap and ruin their chances for survival by egging his brother on, so she did what any reincarnated priestess would do.

"Inuyasha, sit!" She hissed at him, and he was sent down towards the ground.

"You've been satisfied till now, Sesshomaru. Return the sword and-"

"I will not be tricked out of it again!" Sesshomaru interrupted, more terrifying and livid than the gang had ever seen him before. They all poised to some how try and block the inevitable deathblow, but once again, none came. Sesshomaru had whisked himself away. He had escaped... with Tetsaiga!

At this point Inuyasha found the strength to pry himself off the ground. "I'll slaughter him!" He shouted. Kagome stepped forward to try and calm the raging man, but Inuyasha turned on her and shouted, "And then I'll slaughter you! What the he-"

"Sit!" She interrupted. "You were going to get us killed!"

"You two! Don't start bickering! You must retrieve Tetsaiga!" Myoga had suddenly appeared on Kagome's shoulder.

"Myoga? What are you-?" Miroku was about to ask where the flea had come from, but was interrupted by Totosai, strangely enough.

"No time for questions! Be after him!"

Inuyasha had once again managed to wrench his face out of the dirt. "Of course we're going to get Tetsaiga back!" Kagome opened her mouth and Inuyasha quickly spat, "And if you sit me I'll-" He didn't get to finish his threat.

"We can't chase after Sesshomaru. Not without Inuyasha already having Tetsaiga, and especially not until after tonight." Miroku reasoned.

"You must! Especially before tonight!" The little flea jumped up and down, frustrated that they were not spurred into action.

"We'd be killed!" Sango exclaimed, not quite sure if the flea was in full control of his senses at the moment.

"You must get the sword back or die trying!" Totosai jumped in.

Now things were getting weird. "Wait a second. Just stop a moment." Kagome waved her arms to silence the two protestors. "We were just randomly attacked, experienced the quickest battle between Inuyasha and his brother, were nearly killed, and now you two show up, out of the blue, just as randomly as Sesshomaru."

"Don't forget talking about secrets." Inuyasha was talking a tad more reasonably. Maybe it was the multiple concussions.

"And the random secrets." Kagome reiterated. "What's up?"

"Up? What could you possibly mean? Nothing is up!" Myoga replied quickly. "NOW GO GET THAT SWORD!!" Kagome mouthed the word "Ow!" and rubbed her ear that now desperately needed popping.

"We will find somewhere safe to stay this night and then retrieve the sword in the morning." Miroku reasoned. "We will have the best chance then." The rest of the gang agreed, though Inuyasha was of the mind to recklessly throw himself back into danger.

"He will be long gone by then!" Totosai tried one last time to get them moving.

"If I need to, I can find him." Inuyasha replied. "You doubting me, ya old coot?"

"Yes, now Go!" Totosai pointed in the direction Sesshomaru had gone. It didn't work. Inuyasha merely crossed his arms and scowled.

"I oughta hurt you."

Totosai and Myoga continued to berate the group the rest of the evening, and well into the night, until Inuyasha took out his frustrations on their bodies with his human fists. It seems they too quieted down after a few attacks to the head.

The instant the sun had risen, and dawns first light reached the shack the gang had found and used hidden among the trees, all breathed easier. Of course, Totosai and Myoga were not included in this feeling.

The feeling of relief did not last long, for in mere moments Inuyasha had caught the scent of his brother in the area. Before he even thought of letting his allies know the change of events, he burst from the shack and confronted the sword thief. "Have you given up already and come to return my Tetsaiga?"

Inuyasha's challenge failed to excite a reaction. In fact, it could be said Sesshomaru looked somewhat disappointed.

"Still haven't changed, I see."

"What are you babbling about now? Of course I haven't changed since yesterday!"

"And still clueless."

By now the entire gang had been poised behind Inuyasha, for a while. "Care to tell us what's going on?" Miroku asked, more to Totosai and Myoga than to Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru smirked. "Tell me, If you were a Demon lord, which is better. Two male children or one male, and one female?"

"Don't listen to him!" Myoga hopped up and down frantically on Kagome's shoulder.

"It's two boys. Now how would you go about making sure that happened?" Sesshomaru continued.

Totosai was about to restate Myoga's warning but Inuyasha turned to him and snapped, "Shut up or tell me what's going on yourself!" Of course Totosai wasn't going to, so Sesshomaru began speaking again.

"You change them through magic, of course, by sealing their true forms with an object that is to be kept with them constantly." Sesshomaru stopped. "And You have something that they want you to keep with so very much, don't you?" He referred to the two panicking demons trying to keep a very big secret closed.

"Are you saying Inuyasha's a... girl?" Kagome eyed the long white hair. She thought there was something wrong with having so much hair. Even she didn't have so much.

"I'm saying that He's a She and She's supposed to help me carry on our pure bloodline, despite her filth of a mother." Sesshomaru corrected.

Such a silence was never before heard in the history of the world. Bird stopped singing. Waves stopped splashing. Mighty rivers stopped their current. They say a pin could be heard dropping, though it is physically impossibly to Hear a pin drop. There is no force acting upon it except gravity pulling it back toward the ground, But if there was a chance for a pin to be heard as it fell through the air, it was in that silence that it had it's best bet.

And as such a silence was never before heard, such a scream was also never before heard.

"WHAT?!"

Inuyasha was shaking from the fury that had just erupted from his lungs seconds ago.

"**YOU DRUNKEN IDIOT THINK I'M A GIRL**?!" If it was possible, this time he was even louder.

"I'm not dru-"

"**AND IF I WAS A GIRL, I WOULDN'T EVER, EVER BE WITH YOU**!!"

"I'm not-" If Sesshomaru was expecting to Inuyasha to shrug and then jump happily into his arms, suddenly female, without a second thought... he was sorely mistaken.

"YOU KNOW WHAT? KEEP THE DAMN SWORD! I'M DONE WITH ALL OF YOU!" Inuyasha raged and stormed off, to some location unknown. If the gang had had their wits about them, they would have gone after their leader, but who would have been able to after someone they long thought a man had been accused of being a woman? Or after that horribly loud display of lungpower?

"..."

Myoga smacked his forehead in utter disbelief at Sesshomaru's sudden acquisition of idiocy.

"Nice going, numb nuts."


	2. Transformation

Inuyasha continued to mutter and grumble his hate as he stomped through the trees to a location he didn't know.

"**Stupid ass son of a bitch. I'mma kill'em, I swear! I'll kill all of 'em**!" He growled, taking some comfort in the deepness of it. Not that he needed comforting. He was 100 sure he was 100 guy. He had a real easy way to prove it... if you know what I mean. wink wink

"**And after I kill 'em, screw save the world, I'll find the** rest of-!" Inuyasha stopped dead in his tracks. Had his voice just gone up an octave?!

"**I'll find the rest of the jewel and **become-?" Inuyasha coughed, trying to clear his throat.

"I'll become **a true** demon and **slaughter them all?" **He blinked. This was just as bad as puberty! He decided he'd stop talking. He had recently screamed very, very loud. It still rang in _his_ ears. Maybe his voice needed rest. He continued his raging trudge in silence, not exactly sure where he was marching to, but knew sure as hell that it would be far away from people who doubted his masculinity.

In his trek he passed over a bridge, and once he got to the top, on some whim he looked over the edge and into the waters. The river was still as glass, a rather odd thing for it to be... but if the reader will recall, the intense silence had had the power to stop a river's current. The power was still in effect. Anyway, as Inuyasha looked into the glassy waters, he noticed something a little odd. His face looked a little off. He frowned as he stared at it. It frowned back at him, but something was still wrong. It didn't quite look the way he remembered it.

"Well, I don't often stare at myself..." Inuyasha reasoned in his mind. "It's just the water playing tricks."

Inuyasha continued on his trek. He saw a village off in the distance and changed his course to head there, once again on a whim. He had quit. He got to go where he wished now and didn't have to worry about demons or jewel shards unless he wanted to...

"Or the demons want to die." His ego chuckled in his heart.

On Inuyasha's trip to the unnamed village, he felt the hem of his pants begin to slide south. He frowned and pulled it up higher and retied it. He must not have done the best job of securing them previously. He would have continued without a second thought, but now his shirt and jacket were too loose. He yanked them tighter and retied his pants yet again. Now he was mildly ticked.

"Stupid clothes." He muttered, his voice still refusing to return to it's normal sound.

As he entered the village there were a few cries of "It's the mountain witch come after us!" He growled softly and continued through it. Why had he wanted to come here anyway? He marched through the streets and soon was beyond the town where people just assumed someone was a mountain witch because they had long white hair. He shrugged it off. Humans had called him a mountain witch before. It pissed him off, but if he went and killed them all, then he'd get monks and priestesses on his back, and that would piss him off more.

Speaking of being pissed off, Inuyasha caught scent of the familiar stench of wolves. "If he comes by here looking for Kagome I'll slaughter 'im." He growled under his breath. The mere sound of his own skewed voice only heightened his anger.

Unfortunately for Kouga, he was headed Inuyasha's way, and as he came up behind Inuyasha and caught sight of the half-demon, he slowed down to a stop. Before he could speak, Inuyasha struck the first verbal blow.

"Kagome ain't here! Fuck off!" He snarled.

Kouga appeared confused. "You know Kagome?"

"Have you gone nuts? Of course I know Kagome!" Inuyasha spat.

"Do... I know you?" Kouga was even more confused.

Inuyasha paused to stare in wonder at the denser-than-usual wolf before him. "Yes you fucking know me! You make a move on Kagome, I beat your head in and you run away with your tail between your legs!"

Now it was Kouga's turn to stare in wonder. "Ma'am where's your family. I think you better get back to them."

"I AM NOT A MA'AM!!!" Inuyasha screamed. His voice went into an octave he hadn't been able to reach since he was a child.

"... Miss?"

"THAT DOES IT! PREPARE TO DIE!" Inuyasha' shrieked again. His anger was so great his eyes flashed red. Sensing the danger, Kouga made a speedy get away. Fortunately he also managed to intercept his slow minions and get them running the opposite direction before they could be slaughtered by the very angry and very confused half-demon chasing after him.

"Wait, you can't be his, er... I mean, _her_ mate!" Kagome stated after a long silence. No one had said a word since Inuyasha's departure for a long awkward five minutes.

"It's my right a-"

"You're related!" Kagome interrupted. If she weren't so utterly shocked, she wouldn't have dared to interrupt Inuyasha's brother.

"He's sicker than Miroku." Sango mumbled to herself. Miroku held his hands up in a "What are you talking about?!" gesture.

"I am not sick! It's a tradition many noble families still practice." Sesshomaru hissed.

"It's sick, and it's wrong! Your kids will have eleven toes!" Kagome shot back.

"I don't have eleven toes." Sesshomaru replied harshly.

"Well I do-" Kagome suddenly absorbed the meaning of the last sentence. "Oh god! That is disgusting! What is wrong with you people?!"

While Kagome tried to get bad pictures out of her head, Totosai and Myoga finally spoke up. "Why Sesshomaru? Why now? You were happy enough when trying to kill him." The old flea sighed in exasperation.

"Because I don't want to do what my father has set before me. I am sick of following a dead man's plan." Sesshomaru growled.

Totosai answered him. "You're father was a wise and-"

"My father was a nut case!"

Myoga's turn; "He was a little eccentric, yes, but-"

"He left a perfectly fine demon wife for a weak little human, turned a little girl into a boy, and stuck his corpse in her eye. Are you telling me this is normal behavior?"

Now Totosai! "You shouldn't speak so harshly of the dead."

"What's he going to do? Ground me?" Sesshomaru crossed his arms. "I've had enough of this. I'm going after what's mine." He turned to leave in the direction his... sister... had gone.

"Wait, this is crazy! Inuyasha is a guy! I've bandaged his chest enough to know that!" Kagome jogged to catch up with the tall demon's strides. What possessed her to do this was beyond the rest of the gang. They also followed, though at a greater distance.

"Kagome! Come back here!" Sango hissed at the teenager from the future, but Kagome didn't come.

"And I've clawed him enough to know that he was a guy too, but without this," Sesshomaru tapped Tetsaiga with the stolen human hand, "He'll soon be a she. I'm just not sure how long the transformation will-"

He was interrupted by an echoing cry that was too warped to truly understand, but Kagome managed to catch the words "Am... szit...eh air tuh ai." It was mostly vowel sounds that were clear enough to be understood.

"What the heck was that?" Shippou asked. It sounded creepy... like the battle cry of an enraged spirit.

"Sounded like... prepare to die?" Sango guessed at the end.

Before anyone could become alarmed that Inuyasha may or may not be in trouble, a gush of wind suddenly blasted the trees.

"Hello Kagome." Kouga appeared next to her.

"Kouga!" She was startled. Too much was going on! Couldn't the world just stop for a moment until this whole Inuyasha thing was sorted out?

"There's no time to stop! She's on our heels!" One of Kouga's minions panted as he reached the group. The other, farther behind, sounded truly frightened.

"There's always time to talk to lady Kagome. Anyway, Do you know a very confused she-demon in red?" Kouga asked. Before Kagome could ask, "What?" the 'confused she-demon in red' appeared, and man was she pissed!

"READY TO DIE?!"


	3. It Begins

Wow... well, thank's for all the reviews and the encouragment! Keep 'em coming and you'll be rewarded with some Fluff in the next chapter!

Well, actually you get fluff anyway, I just really appreciate reviews. Even if you feel like you'll only be saying exactly what everyone else is saying, please say it anyway! It makes me happy in my soul and gives me the strength to carry on with this very, very OOC story.

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"Why? Why is this all happening?" Kagome raged in her distraught mind. There were too many revelations in the past 24 hours, too many events that had taken place in rapid succession. She was too shocked to even care about the wellbeing of Kouga as the now fully female Inuyasha attempted to cleave him in two.

She watched with no feeling as Sesshomaru restrained the ex-male from behind. Inuyasha, of course did not enjoy this.

"Calm dow-" Sesshomaru's words were cut off with a choking sound. Inuyasha had cracked her head back against his throat, and then forward to sink her fangs in his arm. This resulted in a cry of pain, and what she was after, her release.

"Ma'am, miss, whatever. Look, I don't know you!" Kouga tried desperately to appease the insane woman he had never seen before in his life. He was met with a guttural scream of rage, too angry and terrible for words.

Whether it was the moments that it took for these events to pass were what allowed Kagome to regain her senses, or the scream of rage, she never knew, but she did regain her senses long enough to subdue the vengeful half-demon.

"Inuyasha, sit." She almost sighed, just wanting the world to stop for a second! Couldn't it just stop for a measly little second?

"Inuyasha?" Kouga sent a confused look Kagome's way while Inuyasha was sent to calm down in the dirt.

"Kouga." Kagome sighed and rubbed her temples as if she had a massive migraine. "There's some major things going on, so I would appreciate it if you would just... run off." She waved a hand absently in the direction he had come from.

Kouga continued giving her a questioning look but eventually, after what seemed ages to Kagome, he turned around with a wave and departed with a, "Later." His minions had previously fled before the wrath of Inuyasha, and now Kouga ran after them.

At this point, Inuyasha had regained enough movement to swing her leg forward and catch Kagome in the back of the knee and the reincarnated priestess joined the half-demon on the ground.

"Hey!"

"Mine hurt worse!"

Kagome groaned in frustration. Inuyasha may have a woman's body now, but she was still as horrible as ever. "Why do you even care about Kouga? You're a girl!"

"Cuz I don't like 'im!" Inuyasha growled back. She got up stiffly. That particular sit had hurt more than usual. It would have merited more mulling over, but Inuyasha was too enraged to care much about pain at the moment.

"And you!" She spotted Sesshomaru and her rage was diverted. "You give me back my sword now!" She lunged at him but he dodged her.

"No! The wrongs of our father have been righted. I'm no-"

"I SAID GIVE IT!" Inuyasha did not care what ever her brother had to say. This time she successfully managed to grab hold of the scabbard of Tetsaiga and the strap holding it to Sesshomaru's side was ripped apart as she wrenched it from him. She unsheathed the weapon but it did not change. She had no thought of protecting humans, only exacting her revenge.

"NOW GET THE HELL OUT!" She trained the rusted old blade on Sesshomaru's throat. He opened his mouth to speak but Inuyasha interrupted him. "I SAID NOW!!!!"

Just as the past 24 hours had been filled with strangeness, so was the next moment, when Sesshomaru actually turned and was gone. He just left... What the crap?! After all the gang had been through, if you had told them yesterday morning that tomorrow Inuyasha would order Sesshomaru to leave and his brother would have gone, they would have laughed and considered you nuts. And that was if you didn't even mention Inuyasha's sudden switch of genders.

Inuyasha was tempted to now take out her overwhelming anger on who ever she saw next, which would have been her friends, but Miroku stepped in. Whether he had seen the danger to their limbs or not, he managed to calm everyone down with wise and gentle words that no one really remembered or understood. No one said a word as they trudged back to the shack. They all realized that Inuyasha's anger was easily excited at the moment. Maybe it was his... er, her death shrieks and the attempted maiming of Kouga and Sesshomaru.

The rest of the day was filled with mindless chatter. Like anyone could focus on anything other than the days happenings! Inuyasha made a point of not speaking, skulking in a corner with her arms crossed furiously across her chest. If it weren't for the loss of height, bulk, and other masculine features, one wouldn't have been able to tell the difference between the Inuyasha of the present and the Inuyasha of that morning.

As the day was approaching it's close and the sun began to nestle behind the trees, the inevitable could no longer be postponed.

"How long till I change back?" Inuyasha growled at Totosai and Myoga.

The two shot nervous glances at each other until Inuyasha asked again, this time more angry, "How long?!"

"It might be tomorrow, it might be till the next new moon..." Myoga gulped. Neither dared to say the next option.

Inuyasha didn't reply with words. The half-demon snarled, seeming about to attack the two conspirators if they didn't say something that would appease her anger, and fast.

"W-when you turn human, think of that night as a refresh night. If last night hadn't been a new moon, you probably would have remained... the way you were unless you still didn't have the sword at that time of the month." Totosai explained. Inuyasha seemed somewhat sated, but not fully.

Before Myoga and Totosai could begin a tag-team effort of not getting butchered, Inuyasha turned her attentions to the door of the shack and stood up. As she unsheathed Tetsaiga, and the rest of the gang started guessing who was about to show up, Sesshomaru appeared at the doorway.

"I told you to get lost!" By means unknown to everyone but Tetsaiga, the sword allowed Inuyasha to make it transform. It stayed in the air, menacingly trained on Sesshomaru... for about half a second. The giant length of metal crashed to the floor, leaving a long dent in the wood. Inuyasha fumed at her loss of strength and growled at Sesshomaru, "Leave or I'll lunge this thing forward and then I won't be the only man in the room with a pus-"

"I'm not leaving till you know the whole truth, then you can decide to carry out crude threats." Sesshomaru interrupted. He seemed unconcerned by the curved point of Inuyasha's sword now pointing straight at his crotch.

"I know you are angry at me, and you have every right to be. But you should be even angrier at them." Sesshomaru gestured towards Totosai and Myoga with a glance. "In his old age, our father had taken leave of his senses. When he died, his two servants wished to blindly continue to follow his orders." Sesshomaru explained, "One of which was to twist and warp the fate of an innocent baby girl and abandon her to fate with her human mother. Tell me if this is fair."

"And if you've cared so much, then all those times before must have been 'love taps,' is that it?"

"Have you ever died? Have I ever harmed you enough for permanent damage?"

"You've run me completely through with you're bare hands!" Inuyasha countered, referring to the first time Sesshomaru had managed to steal Tetsaiga away by means of a borrowed human limb.

"I was frustrated. You weren't cooperating." Sesshomaru replied more quietly than he had his other explanations. He obviously regretted the action. "Whenever I could manage it, on the new moons I would-" Upon seeing Inuyasha's surprised and somewhat alarmed expression, Sesshomaru added, "Yes I know you're secret. Anyway, whenever I could manage, I would be there to make sure nothing happened to you."

"...you... Liar! Plenty has happened to me on tho-"

"Not when I was there!" Sesshomaru said forcefully. "The point is, I've been there for you, whether you were aware of it or not, and it has been they who have been the cause of much of the hardships of your life, no matter how I've tried to thwart them. That is the reason for my search for our father's grave and that damnable sword that went with it and why I couldn't let you know about it unless I couldn't find another way to right this wrong."

There was a silence, a rather uncomfortable one for the two accused, while Inuyasha quickly processed what had just been presented to her. Then with great effort, the Tetsaiga was lifted and pointed at its new targets. It fell to the wood once more as Inuyasha growled now at Totosai and Myoga.

"I don't ever," Inuyasha shook with terrible anger, "EVER want to see you two again."

They got the hint and Sesshomaru stepped to the side as they skedaddled out of there before Inuyasha could change her mind about allowing them to live.

"Don't think this means I don't still hate you." Inuyasha grumbled to her brother as Tetsaiga was transformed and re-sheathed. "I just hate them more now."

"Fair enough." Sesshomaru nodded. "May I stay?"

Inuyasha seemed to allow it, for her next response was, "Don't get any funny ideas. I'm going back to how I was before as soon as this damn swords spell kicks in."

No more was said as the group bedded down, including Sesshomaru, and the first day of the 28-day wait for Inuyasha's genes to change back to XY chromosomes ended.


	4. Stranger and Stranger

Aww... I know it's only been 10 hours since my last chapter debuted (at least at the time I'm writing these words) but my review fix wasn't met! I got one! ...Sad face... It still makes me happy in my soul, I'm just expecting to much for I am a comment Junkie.

Well, j.j.ryan, here is fluff for you... whether you want it or not! Soon my fans will understand why this is rated M! Cue the evil laughter!

Okay, fine. So it isn't going to be rated M yet... you'll just understand where I'm going to be going with this. So on with the story!

By the by, I just realized I use big words and words that not a lot of ppl know the meaning of... so... keep a dictionary handy? You have been warned. If I have to I'll put up a lil "Vocab of the Chappie" thinger cuz I really don't wanna have to cut out these words. They are LOVELY words and I LOVE them!

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The day started like any other, except there was a brief half-second when a certain female half-demon believed it had all been a dream followed by the raging disappointment that would be expected to emanate from her.

Long story short, no one was maimed, but Inuyasha's day took a downward turn. Especially when she came back into the shack from a brief walk, blushing and looking downward so her bushy outcropping of bangs hid the pink glow. Kagome handed her breakfast, and Kagome asked her if there was something wrong. Well, she knew the main thing that was wrong; it was just for a little normality that she asked the question.

Inuyasha grumbled back, retreating to her skulking corner, "I really miss being a guy."

The thought suddenly hit Kagome that... well... being able to whiz standing up probably would be a thing she'd miss too. She didn't dwell on it long, for Shippou was tugging on her shoulder wanting his breakfast too, and Kagome made herself busy by continuing to dish out nourishment.

Later in the day, around noon, the gang decided that they couldn't very well travel anywhere. They were too distracted and disorganized, so they, or rather Sango and Miroku, decided they'd stay at the shack for one more night. If it could be said that one good thing came from all this confusion, it was the unifying of Sango and the monk. They stepped up to the plate and were the only real factors in getting anything done at the moment.

Not to say that no one else helped. Shippou did his part to comfort Kagome, for she seemed rather hard hit by the events of yesterday. Sesshomaru did his part too, even if he did it silently and stoically and very intimidating, though Miroku was starting to get the impression this was Sesshomaru being lost in thought rather than cold and indifferent.

Kagome did a heck of a lot, maybe even more than the rest of the group combined. She mechanically went through the motions of chores that could be done. Just anything she or Shippou could think of. She took some comfort in keeping her hands busy. Inuyasha was a slightly different matter. As a man, she had dealt with shock and anger in a less than productive way, and she continued that practice now as a woman.

Inuyasha refused to speak, for the sound of her own voice infuriated her. She refused to do anything with Sesshomaru, for just looking at him reminded her of all that had happened. She refused to do anything characteristic of a woman's job, and it was amazing how almost anything could be interpreted that way. It wasn't that much of a loss, soon there wasn't much to do except watch Kagome think up new things to make busy work with.

At length, Sango pulled Kagome off to the side, away from the group, to talk to the distraught girl, and on the other side of the clearing, Inuyasha was stomping away alone.

When Miroku asked where she was going she growled out, "Having breasts doesn't stop me walking alone!"

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"Come on, Kagome. Tell me exactly what is bothering you so much. You'll feel better after you've said it." Sango hugged her friend.

"It's just too wrong!" Kagome exclaimed to Sango.

"What part of it?"

"All of it! Yesterday morning I _knew_ Sesshomaru was a bad guy, I _knew_ that Tetsaiga was to keep Inuyasha from going full-demon, and I _knew_ he was a guy." Kagome confided. "And now that's all wrong and I'm afraid of what I'll find out next!" Kagome then started feeling overwhelmed by her emotions and she felt tears build up at the next thought that came through her mind.

"How can Inuyasha love me back, when he's a girl?" She choked out, despite the tightness of the back of her throat. She pressed herself close to her only friend that could possibly understand how she felt and wept. Sango didn't know what to say to console the priestess, but she did know that what Kagome probably needed was a good cry, so she continued to hold Kagome as she sobbed out her frustrations and feelings.

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When Inuyasha had shouted that she could walk despite her newly gained rack, she really meant she could still run, for that is what she did now. She raced off, taking all her anger and confusion and fear and turning it to the energy that moved her feet. She growled under her breath at the odd and still new sensation of movement with breasts, but she only focused on running faster and blocked the thought and feeling from her mind.

She hated this. She hated this not only because she had been lied to, and tricked, and now she was so much different! She hated this also because there was no one to retaliate against. There was no one to suffer for the events. Sure she could pummel Sesshomaru, for if it wasn't for him, she wouldn't have ever known about what she really was, but he wasn't the real cause. She could pummel Totosai and Myoga, for it was they who had carried out the orders that made her a male, and then lied to her about what she really was. If it wasn't for them, her life would be completely different. But they weren't the true cause.

It was her father. The man she had been told repeatedly was a kind, strong man, more powerful than any other demon alive, that had done this to her. He was the master pulling the puppet's strings. And he was already dead.

She had never really cared for her father, never really idolized and idealized him like most sons without fathers sometimes do. In fact, her previous feelings towards him leaned toward hate and general dislike. If he had stayed with Sesshomaru's mother, then she, Inuyasha, wouldn't be a half demon. Her mother would never have been ostracized from society on her behalf. Granted she might not exist, but what would she care? She wouldn't have been born to miss being alive.

But now, because of this, her feelings were pure hatred and loathing. How could he have done this, turning all of her life and experiences into a lie? But what truly sparked her wrath was her inability to carry it out. Her father was dead, so she couldn't confront him. It was this that gave her feet such energy to move as she continued across the countryside.

She continued to be nothing but hate as she ran to burn it off. She ran next to a river, over a bridge, across a meadow, through a stand of trees, and now over a small, but rather steep hill. She continued over it until after her first step on the crest of the mound, for her next foot fall continued farther than the ground should be and fell hard into a hole. She stumbled forward, but her foot was caught in the unseen fissure, and she fell forward. She landed awkwardly on her wrist, and a shot of pain reverberated up her arm, but her ankle now was the center of her attention. It had twisted grotesquely in the gap in the path, and now was a considerable bringer of throbbing pain. Before she could stop herself, she had cried out in pain. After a few seconds, filled with pain-induced panting and sweat, she had deemed her ankle not broken, but severely injured. She sat up, quickly discovering that her sword-swinging wrist was also injured. She didn't have time to think about how she would managed to get all the way back to the shack, for a voice sounded behind her.

"Well looky what we got here!" she whirled her head and torso around and was met by the sight of a wolf demon. For once it wasn't Kouga.

"Looks like some little half-breed has taken a fall in our trap!" Another voice rang out from the opposite side and she turned to face it, glancing at the hole that had tripped her up. It was more like a ditch, cutting straight across the road, deep enough to stop anything that came over the hill in the direction she had, and placed so that one couldn't see it until it was too late.

She drew Tetsaiga quickly, but didn't transform it. She had no hopes of holding it up fully transformed. "Come closer and you'll see how 'little' my fangs are!" She tried to keep an eye on both of them, but was unable to. She focused her ears to hear any movement from the one behind and focused her sword on the one in front.

The one in front of her laughed. "And she's got a quite a mouth on her too!"

The one behind her laughed too, an menacing and vaguely terrifying sound. "We should see what else she's got."

The demon in front rushed forward and Inuyasha brought Tetsaiga down on the cleft between his neck and shoulder. But she hadn't accounted for the one behind her and she fought against the grip of the demon that now held her arms down at her sides. The one she'd struck growled and hit her hard in the stomach. At least half the air in Inuyasha's lungs was forced out of her as she felt the sword being wrenched from her. She managed to get an arm free and clawed wildly at her attackers. She felt rather than saw her claws dig into something that bled before she was knocked and pinned to the ground. Panic filled her as an idea of what the two were going to do to her started forming in her mind, and her attacks grew into frenzy, but she was effectively pinned. No blows landed. But though she didn't feel her fists touch anything other than the ground, her assailants were knocked away. She looked up in time to see Sesshomaru claw the last in half, the first already dead and lying against the tree he'd been hiding behind.

From the look on her brother's face she was expecting him to say something along the lines of "Are you some kind of idiot?!" but she was surprised to see him bend down and pick Tetsaiga off the ground. Then he took the few steps forward and kneeled next to where she propped herself up with her uninjured arm.

"Are you alright?" Sesshomaru asked, almost... tenderly? He put the sword on her lap before looking into her eyes. She felt like he was searching her soul.

"Of course I am!" She spat the first thing that came to mind. Sesshomaru's face fell. Apparently he hadn't found what he'd been hoping for.

"Then let's get back." He stood up, and gently helped Inuyasha to do the same. But despite Inuyasha's determination to prove that she really was okay, she could not manage to walk on her ankle and she fell against her brother's strong grip. Wait... since when had he been holding her? Without being asked, his other arm moved under her knees and he lifted her up, Tetsaiga balancing on her stomach since it was still unable to be tied to anyone's waist since Inuyasha had ripped it from her brother's hip.

Inuyasha couldn't bear to look at him. She was ashamed and angry at the weakness of her true self. She was convinced it was even weaker than her human form and her face burned from the humiliation of having to be rescued and then carried. Somehow Sesshomaru had guessed her thoughts, for he confessed to her, "I would have hurt myself too, stepping into that ditch."

Her brother's admittance consoled Inuyasha somewhat, though she still did not like being carried. "You wouldn't have needed rescuing."

"It wouldn't have been a pleasant battle." Sesshomaru stated. For some reason he was walking her back instead of running. Inuyasha wondered on it briefly, since at this rate it would probably take them days to get back.

"You know, I was actually rather surprised that you managed to lift Tetsaiga up long enough to turn it on Totosai and Myoga."

"I couldn't hold it up."

"Of course not. You shouldn't have even been able to get it off the ground." Sesshomaru replied. "You really are stronger than you think. Don't dwell on this particular instance. Not many people would have been able to win that battle without aid."

"Why did you follow me?" Inuyasha asked. She wanted the topic to change.

"I wanted to talk with you."

"About what?"

Sesshomaru was silent for a moment, apparently trying to put thoughts into words that wouldn't offend the girl in his arms. "About us."

"I told you I wouldn't ever be your mate. Live with it!" Inuyasha grumbled.

"Not that kind of us." Sesshomaru replied. "Us as a family."

"You never wanted that before."

"Before I was trying to fix what they had done to you without alarming you." Sesshomaru explained. "Do you think you would have been able to handle life knowing you were a girl in a boy's body?"

"Then why did you attack me?"

"You like to fight. You wanted a brawl and you wouldn't leave me alone till you got one." Sesshomaru replied in a tone that spoke of how little he cared for this particular quality of Inuyasha's.

Inuyasha was quiet a moment, trying to remember the first time she had met her brother and if it really was her that had started the battle that would characterize their relationship up until now. She couldn't remember. "If you don't like it so much, then why do you want me so badly?" She growled, mostly at her inability to remember who had struck the first blow.

"It's complicated." Sesshomaru replied, trying to dismiss the subject.

"More complicated than this?" Inuyasha countered. "I doubt it."

There was another period of silence while Sesshomaru searched for words. "I hate my little brother, but I love my little sister. My brother is a crude bastard, a complete waste of air. But my little sister isn't supposed to be like that."

"I'm still the same person." Inuyasha grumbled. So that's what Sesshomaru had been looking at her so oddly for.

"I know."

There was a long awkward silence as Sesshomaru continued to walk them back, until Inuyasha asked a rather strange question.

"What's she supposed to be like?"

Sesshomaru stopped walking, and closed his eyes. Inuyasha could feel his chest push out against her and then quickly retreat as he sighed deeply. "Beautiful, understanding, graceful, and gentle, like a delicate flower." Sesshomaru replied. He opened his eyes and looked down at Inuyasha. "In some ways you are like her."

"How?"

"You are beautiful."

"I think you've gone soft in the head." Inuyasha stammered.

The arm that supported Inuyasha's back and firmly held her shoulders reached up and brushed her bangs away from her eyes. "I don't think so." Sesshomaru replied. "What I think, at least right now, is that you could have been her. You still can be her." While he talked, Sesshomaru had gotten leaned closer and closer to Inuyasha's face, or he had lifted her higher, and now their noses were so close Inuyasha felt sure they were only a hair's breadth apart.

"Maybe I liked being a bastard." Inuyasha countered, uneasy from the closeness.

"I don't think you do." Inuyasha saw her brother start to close in on her and she shut her eyes tight in response to what he was about to do. But instead of feeling his kiss, she felt his lips brush her nose and she relaxed and opened her eyes. "I'd better get you back." He mumbled and picked up speed.

Inuyasha stared at her brother's jaw line as he ran them back to the shack. He didn't look back down at her, so she had a pristine view of it from below and to the side. Then she breathed a sigh of... Exhaustion? Relief? Disappointment? Inuyasha didn't know. She didn't know anything anymore.

They finally came out of the trees and onto a broad flat plain. As Inuyasha's eyes were hit with the sunset's golden light she came to the conclusion that she knew one thing. The following days would only get stranger and stranger.


	5. Jealousy

Okay, my comment fix has been satiated... BUT I STILL LUST FOR MORE!

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"I'm surprised this isn't broken." Kagome said aloud so she wouldn't fall into her mind, where horrible, depressing thoughts lay in wait for her if she didn't keep busy. Right now she was keeping busy by wrapping Inuyasha's sprained ankle to help it heal faster.

Inuyasha remained silent. At this point, she wasn't as objective to the idea of thinking as Kagome was. Inuyasha only heard her with half an ear, for her mind was mulling over what had happened. It seemed like only a second ago Sesshomaru had tried to kiss her, and, at the same time, ages ago since he pecked her on the nose. She still didn't understand what had stopped him from actually kissing her. She was sure that was what he had meant to do. Or maybe she was just losing it. That was still a real possibility.

"Inuyasha?" The half-demon looked up.

"I asked if this was too tight."

Inuyasha shook her head no, so Kagome sat back, that particular task done. Now taskless, Kagome was going to turn to asking Inuyasha what had happened, but Inuyasha was already attempting to stand up.

"Inuyasha, you shouldn't walk on your ankle yet! You'll just aggravate it more!" But it appeared as if she didn't care. Her face was set in hard determination, but she could only stand with the help of the wall. Kagome stood up to either help Inuyasha back down or to wherever she wanted to go so badly, when it struck her just how much shorter Inuyasha now was. Kagome had to be an inch taller than the half-demon now. How could she not have noticed?

Inuyasha mumbled that she wanted to go outside and Kagome helped her. As they left Miroku told them not to go too far, but he wasn't answered as the pair walked out into the night.

It was a dark night. The moon was barely a sliver in the sky, and despite there being no clouds to block it's feeble light, it wasn't enough to illuminate much. Because of this, Kagome was inclined to stay nearby the shed, where light from the fire inside could still spill out, but Inuyasha kept them moving on. While they walked Kagome realized she hadn't noticed Inuyasha's height change because she hadn't really looked at her since she changed. At length, Inuyasha conveyed to Kagome that she didn't want to go any farther, and they rested against a fallen log.

"I didn't want to be in the same room as him anymore." Inuyasha mumbled her reason for wanting to leave. Kagome guessed it was probably the same reason for why Inuyasha wanted to be so far away. It finally struck her that as awful as these events had been to her, it had to have been even worse on Inuyasha. As Kagome realized this, she suddenly felt awful. She had to be the most selfish person in the world. Kagome thought to herself, "How would I feel if all that happened to me? I'm such a jerk. All I've thought of is myself when Inuyasha's been-" Her thoughts were interrupted by Inuyasha calling her name.

"What?"

"Can you do me a favor?" Kagome recognized the far away, pensive look on Inuyasha's face, the calm that almost appeared sad.

"Sure. What is it?" Kagome was now determined to maybe redeem her earlier actions.

"I don't want to be alone with him."

Kagome nodded. She understood what Inuyasha wanted her to do, though she didn't say it. But now the question had to be asked. "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You'll feel better if you talk." Kagome replied. Sometimes Inuyasha could be so much like a child, keeping things bottled in until he threw a tantrum. Kagome didn't know why she somehow expected him to be different now as a girl. It was her body that changed, not her personality.

Inuyasha remained silent for a moment, but Kagome sensed Inuyasha was going to actually confide something to her. Finally, soft and hesitating, Inuyasha replied, "There's just too much."

"Take it in parts. Tell me how you hurt your ankle."

"I was running and someone dug a hole into the road. I didn't see it till after."

Well, that explained the injuries, but if Kagome had needed more time to talk, not including sob time, then Inuyasha probably needed twice as much. Kagome thought she knew the answer to her next question, but she was trying to get Inuyasha to open up. The half-demon needed easy to answer questions or she might never confide in Kagome again.

"Why don't you want to be with your brother?"

"He..." Inuyasha tried, but could not, to tell Kagome about what had happened. "He just creeps me out." Inuyasha leaned her head against Kagome's shoulder, in physical, mental and emotional exhaustion. Just too much for one day. Kagome was momentarily stunned, but wrapped her hands around the half-demon to hold her closer and Inuyasha returned the motion. They sat there in a comfortable silence and embrace.

"Maybe this can work. Maybe Inuyasha could still love me." Kagome thought while they cuddled. "Inuyasha said she wanted to be a guy again, I'll just have to wait a few weeks. Maybe we'll come out of this with our relationship stronger than ever?"

The pair sat in that way well into the night, and soon Sesshomaru got up to check on the two. It wasn't that far of a walk, and soon he came upon them, and instantly burned with jealousy.

How could Inuyasha be so unfair? It was He, Sesshomaru that had given her back her true form. It was He that protected her from who knows what ungodly things. And it was He that had comforted her when she felt weak. Why did she cringe when he tried to act upon his feelings? Why did was she now retreating to that damnable wench's arms? Inuyasha should be embracing him, not her!

Sesshomaru felt the urge to plunge Toukjin into both of them, but he turned back and began battled his anger. It proved a difficult feat, yet he was rather skilled in denying himself emotion. Years of hiding his feelings from Inuyasha had done that, though she had always goaded him to anger, and often succeeded. But as of now, Sesshomaru strode back into the shack, cold and indifferent as ever, and sat back down in his place. When prompted, he replied, "They're fine."

Back with Inuyasha and Kagome, Inuyasha hadn't caught scent of her brother's recent presence. She was too busy enjoying the scent of Kagome. She took in a long breath and let it out, almost in a sigh, as she relaxed in the calming embrace. Kagome was always calming like that, almost as if she radiated a spell that made Inuyasha feel safe to relax. But they were not safe to relax, not this far out alone. Not unless Kagome was able to fight off whatever might attack them. But there were too many enemies that would want Inuyasha's head just at the mere sight of her, so reluctantly and sadly, Inuyasha mumbled to Kagome, "We'd better get back."

Their embrace was ended and Kagome stood up, soon helping Inuyasha to also rise. Then they turned back on the path they had walked and hobbled the way back to the shack.

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Congratulations! You've completed yet another Chapter of THE REAL PURPOSE OF TETSAIGA.

Now **REVIEW**!


	6. A Victory

I must answer a few things before I continue with another installment.

To Kelso, Thank you for such an insightful comment and critique. I wanted to hit reply and thank you privately, but your comment was anonymous so I thank you here.

Once again, J. J. Ryan, here's some fluff for you. Not right away, but it's there.

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Seven days had passed since Inuyasha cringed under Sesshomaru's advances. Eight since she'd ordered Myoga and Totosai to leave and never return. Nine days ago she was sure she was a he. And now she was taking it out on a poor, unsuspecting tree.

Kagome heard the clang of metal on wood as she approached where Inuyasha had wandered off. She had fallen into the habit of staying as far away from the group as she could get away with. "Inuyasha?" Kagome called out to the other.

The abuse seemed to stop, for there was silence as Inuyasha replied, "Yeah?"

"I brought lunch." Kagome rounded a stand of trees and found the other girl. She held out her food offering and Inuyasha sheathed her sword, coming over to share the homemade feast of sandwiches.

"Made any progress?" Kagome asked as they sat down on one of the many fallen logs in the forest.

"Not enough." Inuyasha grumbled. Kagome wasn't surprised. Tetsaiga was heavy. She actually doubted if Inuyasha would ever be able to wield it as she had before. But what Inuyasha needed was someone to believe in her. As far as doubt went, her brother had things covered. Kagome shook her head, remembering the last run in between the two.

The group had woken up to find Inuyasha had gone off somewhere. Sesshomaru had gone to find her before Kagome was awake enough to remember her promise to the Inuyasha. An hour later, they had both returned with Sesshomaru chastising Inuyasha for 'being a thick-headed lout' and Inuyasha had retaliated by cracking the other in the head with Tetsaiga's sheath. Later, when Inuyasha had left again, this time with Kagome, it had come out that Sesshomaru had tried to get Inuyasha to realize that brute strength wasn't on her side anymore and that all fighting should be left up to him. Inuyasha had not been a fan of that declaration.

"I'm faster though." Inuyasha's words interrupted Kagome's reverie.

"Well that's good." Kagome replied. "Maybe even better." She received a disbelieving look from Inuyasha. "I'm serious! How can an enemy beat you if they can't hit you? And how can they dodge your blows if you're faster than them?"

Inuyasha seemed to get the point, for her look softened and she returned to devouring lunch. There was more idle chatter amongst the girls in the trees. A steady breeze created background music of rustling leaves and sighing branches. It also hid the scent and the sound of Inuyasha's stalker.

Sesshomaru glared hard at the back of Kagome's head. Oh how he wished he could burn holes through it! He was listening in on their useless and rambling conversation with mocking and unkind thoughts.

Inuyasha was his, had been his since she was born. And even now, after all Sesshomaru had done, she still didn't understand that! It was clear she was avoiding him. Every single time Sesshomaru had managed to get Inuyasha alone over the past week, Kagome had come and spoiled it. Sesshomaru was certain that Inuyasha had asked that wench to do so. He was sure of it, because the bitch never left his Inuyasha alone! Oh sure, there were brief moments, but he could never get anywhere with Inuyasha in only a few stolen moments. It was maddening! He dug his claws into the bark of the tree between him and his targets, imagining it was the neck of the meddler, when he heard something in the girls' exchange that made him suddenly hang on their every word.

"You can go back to the rest of them if you want, Kagome." Inuyasha said, now finished eating and looking off at the tree with chunks of bark knocked off of it.

"No, it's alright. I can stay here with you."

Sesshomaru hissed under his breath. "Inuyasha wants you to leave. Do it."

"All I do is sit and think, and Shippou's getting jealous."

"You sure?" Kagome rose to a standing position.

Sesshomaru hissed again, "Yes, she's sure, now go away!" but the two didn't hear him, for he kept his words quiet.

"Yeah." Inuyasha muttered. Kagome nodded, and then turned. Sesshomaru watched, almost giddy with victory, as she left. She was actually leaving. The bitch was leaving Inuyasha alone! And it was for longer than a moment!

Sesshomaru moved so that Kagome didn't see him in her retreat, and he shot a rude hand gesture towards her back as she left. He couldn't help himself. It had to be done. He was brought back to the moment by Inuyasha throwing Tetsaiga to the ground in a dissatisfied huff. The sword clanged in protest while Inuyasha uncaringly put her head in her hands and groaned loudly. "Could this get any worse?!"

Worse? Didn't Inuyasha like Kagome stepping on her heels constantly? Sesshomaru was confused, and soon was more confused, for Inuyasha continued talking to the trees.

"No wait, it could." Inuyasha said bitterly. "Sesshomaru could show up and try to tell me how weak I am again. That would be just fucking perfect!"

Sesshomaru frowned. Great... he'd screwed up again.

"And while he's at it, why not tell me that I'm actually a goat or something and... and try to lead me off on a rope?!" Inuyasha forcefully let out a breath of air.

Sesshomaru couldn't take it anymore. He finally had a chance alone with the other, and now he knew that he had some things to fix. It was time to do that. "Sorry, don't have anything new to tell you." He stated, coming out from the trees.

Inuyasha whirled around in a defensive position, and with a growl that only intensified when she saw just who it was. "What do you want?" She spat at the other. Had Sesshomaru been there the whole time? How long had he been watching her? Inuyasha felt violated on so many levels... it made her want to scream. Hadn't Sesshomaru done enough for one lifetime?

"To talk." Sesshomaru said simply, moving forward. He seemed to be ignoring the fact that Inuyasha was being hostile, for he took the place that Kagome had been, and sat down.

"And what makes you think I want to talk about anything with you?!" Inuyasha snarled. She wanted him to leave. There were just too many upsets when he was around. Inuyasha kept finding out things she didn't want to know.

"I've clearly got some things to explain still." Sesshomaru replied.

"I don't want to hear it!"

"I think you need to." Sesshomaru's voice remained calm. It made Inuyasha even angrier. She felt so much more comfortable when he was angry, and when they were fighting. It was familiar ground.

"I don't give a damn about what you think!"

"And I, you." Sesshomaru reached up and gently took hold of Inuyasha's ready-to-strike arm. "Just sit." He commanded softly and pulled Inuyasha into a sitting position next to him.

Inuyasha was surprised at herself that she was allowing him to pull her down. Was it the soft touch? The tender expression? What was offsetting her fury so well?

"Fine, what do you have to say so badly?"

"I've been unfair with you, the past few days." Sesshomaru started. "And you've taken things I've said the wrong way."

Inuyasha opened her mouth to give him a nice verbal slap in the face, but something silenced her. Sesshomaru continued on. "What I've been trying to explain to you is that no matter how you feel about me, I'm going to look after you. I know you don't think you need it, and no, you don't need anything from me. I'm doing it because I care about you."

Sesshomaru looked over at her with a gentle expression on his face, and a caring look in his eyes. It was unnerving, and confusing... but mostly unnerving.

"I know you're asking yourself why, and I've already told you, but I'll tell you again." Sesshomaru's eyes never left hers, and they held her gaze, refusing to let go no matter how much she just wanted to scream at him that she didn't care.

Inuyasha felt Sesshomaru's hand, rough and warm, enclose hers as the next words from his lips shot at her like an avenging sword.

"I love you."

It was almost frightening, how much power those words had. She could almost feel them. No, she _did_ feel them. She could feel their weight in her chest. Each echo that reverberated in her mind she could feel lurch to that spot. Who knew there was such power in words?

She tried to wrench herself away from them, the words in her mind and body, the hand gently placed on hers, the gaze mercilessly holding hers captive, but she couldn't. For a minute Inuyasha wasn't sure she wanted to. There were so few people in her life that had said those words, so few that had given her something so kind. She just couldn't do it.

"Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru's voice snapped her back from agonizing over the situation.

She couldn't find her voice.

"Do you understand what I've said?" Sesshomaru's hand left hers, and Inuyasha was sad to feel it go, but it returned, holding her cheek affectionately. "Do you understand that you don't have to hide from me?" Sesshomaru's thumb brushed over her cheek, caressing her face. "That you don't need protecting from me?"

Inuyasha was still at a loss for words. How often had she been in social situations like this before? How often had she been in social situations ever? Granted there were a lot more now that she traveled in a group, but she'd never had a conversation like this with Kagome. Or with Kikyou for that matter. Two women she was supposed to have loved... and there wasn't something to prepare Inuyasha for this. Two women, and Inuyasha had never experienced a whole and uninterrupted kiss.

Sesshomaru righted this wrong. He leaned forward. His hand at Inuyasha's cheek pulled her closer. She felt the other lightly rest at her waist. She felt her cheeks turn hot. And then she felt soft lips on hers.

Her hands clenched into fists in her lap and her eyes went impossibly wide, but Sesshomaru didn't stop. He merely moved her closer to him, and continued to try to _show _Inuyasha just how much he cared. Then he felt her arms relax. He couldn't believe it. Her jaw was still clenched as tightly as anything, but he didn't care. His hand moved down her jaw softly, until he held her chin in his hand. He coaxed her mouth open with by lightly pulling her jaw down. He felt her stiffen again underneath him as he tenderly invaded her mouth. He didn't want to stop. He didn't want to give up his victory, but Sesshomaru would rather jump on his own sword than to ruin all this now by pushing Inuyasha farther than she was prepared to go. He reluctantly retreated from her mouth and gave her an affectionate squeeze as he removed his other hand from her jaw. He was pleasantly surprised when she didn't retreat after that one-armed hug, and remained leaning against him. He smiled softly, looking over the top of her head at the trees beyond and moving his other arm to hold her close as well.

Then he beamed, for he'd heard, so softly that he almost thought he'd imagined it, the words, "I love you too."

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I just have to say that I apologize for the sudden disappearance of updates. I became ill with some sort of flu, got a case of viral pneumonia, and then was swamped with trying to get caught back up with schoolwork. Updates still won't be every day, or twice a day like they had been because I'm a band geek and decided to sign up for a load of things. But don't worry. I haven't forgotten you all. And this is a Fanfic I plan to actually finish. Now enough yakking! **REVIEW**!


	7. Confusion and Rain

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"Oh what have I done?" Inuyasha groaned to herself. She buried her face in her hands. Her legs were pulled up close to her chest, as if she had been hugging them previously.

"What have I gone and done?!" She was on the verge of hysteria. What had possessed her to respond to Sesshomaru's love declaration? Insanity?

No, she hadn't been insane. She'd been out of her element. Knowing she should say something, and in the end, coming up with what her response had been when her mother had said those words.

But why? Why had she done that in _this_ situation?

Inuyasha continued to agonize over her actions. Other than that she had sat down and hugged Sesshomaru (she was purposefully ignoring the kiss, for that would certainly drive her over the edge to true insanity), she bitterly laughed at herself that she was driving herself mad. But she continued, clutching her face in shame and mental agony, alone in her current run away hide out.

Had it only been a few hours? Or had it been weeks? Inuyasha was no longer aware of the time, only that it was sunset and the world was cooling down quickly for the night.

"Inuyasha?" She heard a familiar voice call.

Inuyasha's head snapped up. How could she face Kagome now? After... after what she'd done?

But Kagome came closer, and just as Inuyasha failed to find her voice that midday in the trees, now she lost her ability to pick a direction and run in it.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked again, now having caught sight of the other. Kagome found herself wonder just what had happened since she'd last left the other, because Inuyasha almost looked deranged, rocking back and forth like that with her claws gripping different points on her head. Kagome's eyes went wide when she remembered that Sesshomaru had come waltzing back, unable to contain a smile. Well she put two and two together... and came up with five.

"Oh my god..." Kagome breathed. "Did he...?" Kagome did not want to say the word 'rape'. It was too harsh, and Inuyasha looked half nuts as it is. Inuyasha did not help the situation. She thought Kagome was asking, "Did he kiss you?"

Inuyasha looked up at Kagome, her hands retreating to her lap, and nodded. Shame could nearly be seen dripping from Inuyasha, the world's current embodiment of disgrace.

Kagome threw a death wish that bastard's way, and rushed forward to Inuyasha's side. She hugged Inuyasha close to her, and Inuyasha held her close back. Kagome squashed the thought that Inuyasha might crush her ribcage as Kagome did what she could do to comfort the other.

After a few consoling moments, Inuyasha's voice came, shaking, to Kagome's ear. "Can you forgive me?"

Kagome gave the other a squeeze. "I don't have to. It wasn't your fault." Kagome stroked the other's hair after Inuyasha uttered a grateful sob. In her heart, Kagome was not as kind.

"Sesshomaru," She mentally vowed. "You will rue the day you Ever. Met. _ME_."

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Sesshomaru was on cloud nine. His Inuyasha was finally getting the idea and becoming who she was supposed to be. He had gotten a kiss and a victory, and it had been too much for him to conceal. As a result he was out, taking a walk, for why should the humans know if he was happy or not? Besides it was a pleasant evening. The wind from midday had softened to a gentle cool breeze and the air smelled like approaching rain. As he rounded a turn, the world was soft and quiet and-

Not that Sesshomaru much cared, but he noticed there was something horribly the matter with that wench, Kagome.

The priestess was standing in the path, with the air of someone who wished to commit murder.

"Yes?" Sesshomaru's mood turned to crap. What could that girl want? Had she found out that Inuyasha loved him and not her? That thought gave him a bitter, cruel chuckle; A laugh that Kagome took to be his confession.

Kagome's reply was to send an arrow flying, aimed between Sesshomaru's bastard legs.

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First it was a few drips, but soon the rain was thunking loudly on the roof of the groups current base of operations. Big, fat droplets suicided against whatever was out, unprotected by shelter. Inuyasha, hugging her knees and not answering any questions, no matter how gently or forcefully she was prodded, was safe and dry. Shippou and Killala had been amusing themselves with the rain, and were now soaked through to their bones. Sango was working to dry them off and correct their dripping all over the place, while Miroku was pestering Inuyasha to the point of having a death wish. It was Shippou that reminded them of who was missing.

"Where's Kagome and Sesshomaru?"

"Hopefully not out in the rain." Sango replied.

Inuyasha curled up tighter and ignored Miroku when he asked if she knew where they were. She was sure she knew. She was sure they were talking about her, just sure of it. She heard herself volunteer to go find them, and not even three steps from the shack she was soaked. Inuyasha didn't care though. The weather was an extension of her emotions; unrelenting, overwhelming, confusion and shame.

A low rumble that was too close to be thunder struck her ears, and she suddenly doubted if they really were talking about her, or if one was going to kill the other. The muddy earth gave a depressed squilch as Inuyasha sprang forward, running towards the growing sounds of battle.

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Sesshomaru was breathing hard, surveying his current enemy during a brief lull in the battle. Hell's fury had no wrath like _Her_. Sesshomaru hadn't remembered the human wench being so formidable. Granted he didn't have a scratch on him, but neither did Kagome.

Another arrow was strung. A sword was poised to strike. But a scream disrupted their planned flight.

Both Sesshomaru and Kagome turned their heads to Inuyasha. Kagome's arrow flew too high, transforming a tree to shards 20 yards behind its intended target. Toukjin's strike gauged a trench in the ground too far to the right.

Inuyasha screamed again. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!"

Sesshomaru had to agree. What _was_ the matter with Kagome?

Kagome also agreed, but she knew what was wrong with Sesshomaru. He was a bastard. She had thought making him a dead bastard wouldn't be objected to though.

"WELL?!" Inuyasha wasn't being answered.

Both fighters started talking at once. Inuyasha could catch from Sesshomaru that Kagome was a homicidal bitch, and she managed to understand from Kagome that Sesshomaru was on death row. Inuyasha covered her ears to protect them from the onslaught of words. "Shut Up!" She turned around. She didn't want to hear anymore. Of all the things that had happened, she couldn't deal with this too. This was something Kagome usually dealt with, or Miroku. Peacemaker was not a career option for Inuyasha.

Two cries of her name, one soprano, one a deep bass assaulted her through her hands. Inuyasha stopped walking and turned again to growl at them both, "Just Shut Up! Shut Up And Go Away And Leave Me ALONE!" Now she turned again, and the other two soaked beings in the rain didn't call after her.

Sesshomaru watched his Inuyasha leave with confusion. What had changed since that afternoon? Didn't she love him?

Kagome watched Inuyasha leave with equal confusion. Didn't Inuyasha agree that Sesshomaru should be castrated?

Inuyasha didn't give them a clue. She hugged her arms tightly across her chest, and walked. Not back to the shack where questions would molest her, but just away. Away from Kagome, whom she was supposed to love, and away from Sesshomaru, who she was also supposed to love. The thought suddenly hit Inuyasha that she must have angered some god severely.

Inuyasha muttered to the rain. "Love keeps trying to kill me."

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This is random, but to remember how to spell Killala's name, I think "Kill Alah." She's a very murderous cat. (I don't really want to kill a god, don't worry... just misspell his name so I can use it to help me spell things.)

Anyway, I forgot to tell a few things in the last one.

I cosmically destroyed Rin and Jaken.

Yeah, in this twisted world they don't exist. Mainly because I felt... well... This story doesn't really have a set time in the series to go in. I'm guessing it's just kind of... going in wherever your naughty little hearts want to put it. But, seeing as I haven't gotten to see the whole Band of Seven chunk... and the end, for I believe there actually is an end somewhere... Well you can surmise that this is before the band of seven, after... oh what's his name, the dragon with a mask slammed into his forehead. I didn't much care for him, though it was an exciting battle.

My favorite is actually the peach man. And it is ooooh so much better in the manga than on the series. Go ahead. Find out if I'm wrong. It's volume #9, incase you don't want to blow your money on the entire series, and if you buy it where I did, you'll only have to spend 10 bucks and some change on it. You. Will not. Regret it. At any rate:

You have just finished reading yet another installment of DAYS OF OUR LIVES...

I mean THE TRUE PURPOSE OF TETSAIGA.

**REVIEW**!


	8. a pool of Blood and Water

I know, there's a battle on spelling when it comes to Kikyou's name... but I'm going with the one with a U on the end, **MERELY **because the first fic I read had the U, and my fingers naturally tag the U on the end even when I'm trying to spell it as Kikyo. Please don't hate me! At any rate, this chapter is short, for I need to eat or my stomach will devour itself. I am planning on writing the mother of all chapters after I gorge. It might take me a few solid days of writing to get it out properly and in a good manner, so I tide you over with Inuyasha's mental and emotional break down.

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"Why?" A shaking, nearing tears voice asked of the trees, the rain, and the night.

"Why? Why? WHY?!" Apparently the face off between Kagome and Sesshomaru had not helped Inuyasha in the least.

She hugged her arms about her tighter, grateful for the rain that would hide any tears that could streak past her lashes. She continued to ask her question, though her voice was choked with sobs, as she walked. Though in her distress Inuyasha was not able to enjoy a fully functioning mind, she did have the thought that she shouldn't go far. She stopped her trek when the hut that now contained all three humans and all three demons was just out of reach of her rain-impaired sense of smell. She sat under the moderate protection of a low hanging tree, her clothes molding to the form of her relatively new body in an uncomfortable manner.

She wiped at her eyes, willing herself to stop crying when her mind decided to rebel against her.

**Why didn't Mother tell me this?** A thought gasped in disbelief.

_Shut up! Isn't this bad enough?_ Inuyasha mumbled her reply under her breath, still wiping furiously at her face.

**She had to know. She let them change me.** Inuyasha's mind just wouldn't quit!

_It doesn't matter if she did or not. It's done._

**Do you think it hurt?**

_What are you talking about?_

**Magically being changed. I've come across magic before. It's not usually pleasant.**

_What does it matter?_

**Do you...** Inuyasha tried to fight the thought, but her mind wouldn't let her. **Do you think she stood aside, her child crying helplessly while-**

_Shut up! Just shut the hell up!_ Inuyasha held her hands over her ears. It didn't help.

**How could she have held me? How could she have looked me in the eyes? She knew what she did and she didn't care...**

Inuyasha's sobs gained strength. "She knew..." She repeated in agony. "... and she..." New, unwanted thoughts came to her. "She lied to me. She never loved me. She let them do this to me. She lied." Inuyasha was rocking once more, again clutching her head.

"No one ever loves me." Her cries grew in strength. "Kagome... she-" Inuyasha's throat grew too tight to allow words to pass, but her mind had no such limitation.

_She always wants me to talk about everything. And she wants me to change back._

**Back into that lie. She doesn't care what that means, living as a lie. And she doesn't care that it hurts to talk. It hurts to bring up feelings.**

_Sesshomaru?_

**He wants in my pants. You can see it in his eyes. If he loved me, it wouldn't matter to him if I was his brother, or his sister. If he loved me, he would have been caring. He would have helped me. I wouldn't have to push him away because he wants my body.**

_Ki-Kikyou?_

**Kikyou wanted me human. She wanted me human so the jewel could be purified and she could live a normal human life.**

Inuyasha suddenly was aware of the smell of blood. She lowered her hands from their positions at her temples and unclosed her fists. In her palms, pooling blood mixed with water. Dirty red from 8 bleeding crescents. Pure and clear from falling rain.

_Mixed... Just like me._

**Yes. Just like me.**

_Not human..._

**Not demon.**

_Not... a man..._

**Not a woman.**

Inuyasha choked on the lump in her throat, falling into the despair of her heart.

_Loving, but..._

**Never loved.**


	9. a Dark and Ominous Purple

Alright, I'm starting on 2-5-08 and let's see if I can finish this chapter and have it posted BEFORE 2-12-08. that's my birthday. I'll post it on my b-day and enjoy the comments like b-day presents! Cue writing!

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It was dark now, and the rain had ceased to fall. Kagome and Sesshomaru each refused to let the other go after Inuyasha, much to the confusion of Sango and Miroku.

"Wasn't everything fine a while ago?" Sango asked the monk.

Miroku sighed, knowing what needed to be done. He got the attention of the other two by whistling... loudly. It caused all beings with heightened senses to wince, the oldest of the three beings actually uttered a curse.

"I will go."

"You?!" Sesshomaru growled, not pleased with the idea of a man going after His Inuyasha.

"You?!" Kagome exclaimed, equally unhappy. Miroku had a track record, and she was not going to allow anyone to further defile Her Inuyasha.

"Yes. Me." Miroku replied, as stoic and calm as a monk should be. "I don't know what has happened between you three, but I believe Inuyasha would benefit from some normality. Therefore, wouldn't it be best if I were to go?"

He received disbelieving looks from the group. "It is a normality that I go and sit with Inuyasha after he has had a particularly nasty fight with lady Kagome. I believe Inuyasha would now appreciate the same, question-less, presence." He was still getting funny looks. "And if Inuyasha does wish to talk, it shall be as a gentleman between gentleman friends."

That last remark seemed to sell it, at least for Sango. She agreed that Inuyasha would benefit from either sitting moodily with the monk meditating not far off... or perhaps talking to a more emotionally stable person than Kagome. Not that Sango didn't love the miko, but Kagome was having issues dealing with Inuyasha's change herself, and after a week since Inuyasha's change, Sango questioned just how much good Kagome was doing for the other. Inuyasha had remained just as hostile and grumpy, despite Kagome telling Sango that the half-demon had confided in her repeatedly.

"I agree with Miroku." She said slowly, as if thinking. There were some protests but Miroku left out the door anyway, toting Kagome's pink umbrella.

"I will either be back shortly, with Inuyasha in tow, or I shall be out longer. In either case, do not disturb us." Miroku announced. Then he turned his head to Killala, nodding his head to her that she should come along. The cat mewled and then jumped to Miroku's shoulder so as to remain dry under the umbrella. With that, Miroku left the shelter, opening the umbrella outside, and was off. As he left, he heard the sounds of Kagome and Sesshomaru beginning to deny the other's existence once more.

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Now that Miroku thought about it, he should have brought along Kagome's flashlight.

The night was dark, the rain clouds seeing to it that no light from the moon, which would not have been particularly brilliant anyway, could illuminate his path as the monk and the cat followed Inuyasha's aura to a darkened clearing. Miroku could sense Inuyasha was quiet near, very near. Possibly right under their nos-

Miroku tripped over something too soft to be a tree root and narrowly missed falling into the mud. "What..." He was about to ask himself what had just happened, when he turned, looked, and saw a very muddy Inuyasha, sprawled under a low branch.

"Inuyasha, are you alright?" Miroku moved to Inuyasha's side, oblivious to the fact he was now kneeling in the mud he'd narrowly avoided falling into.

Inuyasha didn't reply, seemingly fine with the mud that sucked up half her face and was splattered all over her body. Miroku shook the half-demon's shoulders, wondering if Inuyasha had taken a roll in a puddle. Killala jumped off the monk's shoulders to the fallen Inuyasha, certainly unhappy that the umbrella had been dropped and forgotten in Miroku's haste to help the other. But Killala also became worried, for the female didn't get up when Killala nuzzled her arm. She mewled her concern to the two.

_I..._

**Yes. Say it.**

_I..._

**Go on.**

_I hate love._

**That's a good, Inuyasha. Hate it. Hate them. You're safe with **_**me**_** now.**

Inuyasha was rolled over to her back and fingers were placed against her throat, checking for a pulse in the mud-covered body. "Inuyasha!" Miroku felt a strong, perfectly fine heartbeat. He glanced over Inuyasha's body. Yes, it was wet, muddy, and perfectly attractive in a way that wasn't his type at all... but he couldn't see anything wrong... other than that Inuyasha wasn't curvy enough, too lean, and too flat-chested for Miroku's tastes.

One should give the monk credit though, for perverted thoughts were the farthest from his mind.

_Was that Miroku's voice?_

**No, shhhh. It was not. Just rest, alone with me.**

Inuyasha ceased her mental struggles, until her name was carried to her once again by the monk's voice.

_Yes, it was. Miroku's calling me._

**You hate him too. He's a human, and a monk. They hate us. You are better off alone with me.**

_But he sounds worried. I think something happened!_

**What do you care if something happened? It is a good thing. If they are distracted, those that hurt you will leave you alone.**

Miroku was about to turn to Killala, to tell her to go get the others, but he noticed a flash in Inuyasha's staring eyes. He turned back to Inuyasha, seeing it again. The half-demon's eyes were flickering between her normal golden hue, to a dark and ominous purple.

_But-_

**Shhhh. Be still. It won't be much longer until they can never hurt you again.**

_But he sounded really worried. Something's happening!_

**You will not care about happenings much longer. Just rest, with me.**

Miroku shook Inuyasha once more, alarmed that whatever was affecting Inuyasha seemed to be winning. "Inuyasha! Inuyasha whatever is going on, you have to fight it!" Miroku said urgently. If only he had thought to bring something to exorcise this evil being that had Inuyasha in its clutches.

_I think there's a fight!_

**I have told you. You will not have to fight anymore. Just Rest!**

Inuyasha whimpered, feeling suffocated by a heavy, heavy weight. Miroku watched the other's eyes start to turn dark once more... but not fully.

"Yes!" It was working! "Yes, Inuyasha, come back!"

_He wants me to come back._

**It was Kagome and Sesshomaru that sent him. They do not even care enough to come to you themselves. It is much better to stay with ME!**

The weight pressed down, crushing on Inuyasha's chest, as if trying to smother her.

_I... I don't think I want to._

**You do! Out there are those that Love you, and Love only hurts!**

_But Miro-_

**He is not to be trusted either!**

_But _**he**_ doesn't love me._

**He will take you to them! Those that only hurt! Those that want to use you! Now stop fighting me!**

The weight made a final, crushing, blow, aimed low and cheap.

**If you leave me, who knows what you will find out next? **It crushed into her, deep into her being. Just like Sesshomaru's words of power, these ugly thoughts lay choking and heavy into her chest, threatening to fill Inuyasha with utter and complete hopelessness.

It almost worked. It would have worked. But the voice had not accounted for Miroku's ingenuity, and refusal to let some unknown entity take over his friend's soul.

"Inuyasha!" He shook the half demon once more, feeling the verge of victory. Killala offered a mewl herself, forcefully shoving her head underneath the muddy palm of the other, to make Inuyasha stroke her and therefore come back from wherever she was being taken.

"Inuyasha, you need come back to your friends!" Miroku stated firmly to the other.

_Good bye._

Inuyasha's hand flexed, and Killala mewed in victory, nuzzling the active digits with almost dizzying joy.

"Miroku?" Inuyasha closed her eyes and sat up. They opened, fully gold and horribly dazed. "What's going on?"

Miroku breathed a sigh of relief. "My friend, I was going to ask the same of you." He laughed softly. He put a hand on Inuyasha's shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"I'm..." Inuyasha sighed, changing her mind. "No, Miroku, I'm not alright."

Miroku sat back, retrieving his hand and ignoring the feel of cold, wet mud seeping through his clothing. Inuyasha looked as if she were about to say something, and Miroku looked away, in another direction so as not to give of the air that he was expecting her to say anything. Miroku had learned that was the best way to coax the words out of his friend.

He leaned forward, retrieving Kagome's forgotten umbrella, though it was merely a hollow gesture now that each and every one of them was soaked to the core.

Inuyasha's voice finally came, under protection of the rain, soft and full of malice. "I hate them."

Miroku continued his meditating-like composure. "Who?" He inquired neutrally.

"My father. My mother... Kikyou, Sesshomaru, Kagome... Humans and Demons." Inuyasha brought her knees to her chest and hugged them to her. "The world."

"Something has tried to corrupt you in this way." Miroku stated. "It is probably best that we return to the others, in case this entity decides that it wants a second chance."

The words that Inuyasha wasn't so sure were that of another's flashed across her mind. That Miroku would take her back to them who loved and wanted things from her. It had been right. She did not join Miroku as he stood.

"Inuyasha." Miroku said gently to the other, who had started rocking back and forth. It was obvious more recovery time was needed, but Miroku didn't feel as safe out in the rain and cold as he would like. It was especially urgent to get out of harm's way if what had been attacking Inuyasha so strongly hadn't been fully removed.

"Why are you here?" Inuyasha snapped, an uncharacteristically frightened look on her face when her tone was so harsh and sharp. "Are you here to get a good squeeze out of me?"

"Not that you aren't lovely," Miroku stated calmly, reminded of the noticings he had forgotten in his necessity to revive Inuyasha, "But you haven't nearly enough 'cushion for the pushin'.'"

Inuyasha looked up at him, hearing the familiar man-talk, brought to her in Miroku's calm, peaceful voice. Inuyasha's face lost some of its anxiety, or at least as far as the monk could tell thanks to the liberal coating of mud, and Miroku smiled softly.

"You pervert." Inuyasha's voice sounded like a soft, relieved, chuckle, and the half-demon reached out to take Miroku's offered hand. The monk helped the other up, smiling more broadly, greatly relieved that Inuyasha did not seem truly harmed... at least for the moment.

"Let's get back." Miroku stated, dropping the other's hand. He was then made distressed, for Inuyasha did not retain a happy face. Instead the other's eyes swam with hateful and unpleasant emotions. It was clear to see that she did not want to go back to the others.

"Would it help if I were to go inside first and make clear to everyone else that there will be no questioning?" Miroku offered. The offer seemed to help Inuyasha somewhat.

Miroku walked forward, but to his continued dismay, Inuyasha didn't follow. She was outside the protection of the umbrella, her face turned downwards. Her bangs hid her eyes, but Miroku didn't need to see them to feel Inuyasha's unhappiness.

"I don't want to go there." Her voice was hard edged and sharp once more. Miroku began to believe that there was still a hold on her. He moved forward, shielding his friend from the rain.

"Then we will not return." Miroku replied simply. His statement shocked the other into looking up, face contorted in confusion. At least it was better than the frightened, wide-eyed expression from before.

"If you are so uncomfortable to be in the presence of the others, then it is clear that we should not be in it." Miroku replied. "But we should at least move closer. If we do not let the other's know of our decision, then they will become worried and search us out." Miroku did not start leading the other again. He would wait until Inuyasha was prepared to take the first step.

She shifted her feet, seeming as if the answer was perfectly fine and good, but that something was stopping her. Miroku waited patiently, for Inuyasha looked about to speak what was on her mind and distressing her so.

"You will tell them that they can't come and see me?"

"Yes. And then, if you wish, I will join you." Inuyasha stopped fidgeting so nervously and Miroku smiled at her in his calm, monkish way. "May I join you, afterwards?" He asked. This seemed to do it for the other.

"Yeah..." Inuyasha stated hesitantly, then more forcefully, "Yeah. I'd... I'd like that."

Inuyasha took a step forward. Miroku matched her. Killala perched on Inuyasha's shoulder as they began the walk closer to the rest of the group. Meanwhile, Killala began the seemingly impossible task of cleaning the mud off of her, and her half-demon perch.

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Okay... so maybe it wasn't as long as I said it was going to be... but that's because I decided to break it up a little instead. It adds suspense to have to hit the button that takes you to the next chapter. Plus... well... wolfluv sent me such a lovely review... I wanted to post this to see what he/she/it had to say about it. I'm a sucker for reviews that take a stab at the deeper meaning of a fic. If you wanna know what I mean, hit the reviews link and look at her review of chapter 8. It was lovely.

Oh, and as always,

You have just finished reading another installment of The TRUE Purpose Of Tetsaiga.

Now **REVIEW!**


	10. the Wrath of a Monk

One question, I know I got a couple fans... But does anybody like this at all? I feel like interest has significantly dropped off since this story took a dramatic turn. So yeah, sorry I let Inuyasha have a realistic, if not delayed, reaction and she went spiraling towards depression... but I got an excuse! An evil being has targeted her! It wasn't as if I wanted to do this to poor Inuyasha. Poor kid's got it tough enough as it is.

Or maybe I need to stop picking favorites when it comes to reviews. I love them all equally; I just spastically reread the longer ones. Sue me. I'm a Comment Junkie.

Another note: Remember when I said I cosmically destroyed Rin and Jaken? Well I realized that I need them for upcoming events in the story, so they are not cosmically destroyed, merely at the castle getting nervous because Sesshomaru is taking longer than he said he would.

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The trio came to a dry resting place, under a tree large enough to shield from the rain. It was also, not too far from the rest of the group, which Miroku was very thankful for.

"Inuyasha, I am going to inform the other's of our whereabouts," Miroku turned to the other. He almost took a frightened step backwards at the extent to which his friend seemed to disagree with this course of action. He was now certain that what had a hold on Inuyasha before had not relinquished its full grip. No being should be able to scowl so fiercely at a friend.

"But not our position." Miroku added, remaining calm despite the disturbing hate coming off his friend.

"They'll find us easy enough without it." Inuyasha hissed.

"I will not let them near, if that will please you." Miroku hadn't been planning on it either. He was certain that it would not be beneficial to the other to have to face her demon brother or her miko friend. Something had happened, something major he was now aware. It was time he came to the heart of the problem and hopefully bring the two out of their delusions that they were helping.

"Will you permit Sango to see you for a brief time?"

"Why?" Miroku was relieved that Inuyasha's voice held more curiosity than hatred.

"I may need a length of time to speak with Kagome and your brother, and she may help you get cleaned up."

This produced a thinking glare to burn through a root of the tree they were taking shelter under. "Fine, but no questions." Inuyasha crossed her arms and slid down the trunk she was leaning against until she sat on the ground. "I don't want to talk about anything."

Miroku nodded, opening the umbrella even if it was useless. "I will take Killala with me so that she can lead Sango back here, but we will not be gone long." Miroku got no further response out of the other, and he started walking a bit faster than his usual pace.

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"Miroku?!" The monk heard in 4 parts as he entered the very dry and warm building.

He did not reply, keeping a stern countenance. Two of the four persons belonging to the voices were going to have a wake up call very soon. "Lady Sango, may I speak with you outside, in privacy?" Miroku asked, knowing he looked like hell and therefore worrying everyone in the room that something had happened. He refused to look at Kagome or Sesshomaru, partly for their own good, and because he did not feel he'd have the fortitude to carry out what needed to be done if he did.

The demon exterminator nodded, her movements made hurried by worry. She followed him outside, and Miroku made sure to keep the other dry under the umbrella.

"I must ask you to go back with Killala to Inuyasha." Miroku began, knowing full well that there were 2, possibly 3, sets of ears listening in on his every word.

"Is everything alright?" She asked as the umbrella switched hands and the demon cat changed shoulder perches.

Miroku was silent a moment, thinking of how he could put this so that Sango understood the fragility of the situation and yet not be overly alarmed.

"I am afraid things are not wholly alright." He began. "Lady Sango, I must impress upon you that Inuyasha is in a... a delicate state. I must ask that you do not ask any questions of her. In fact, I wouldn't even speak if I were you." He stopped, seeing that he had scared the other enough. He gave Sango a smile, which eased her apprehensions.

Sango nodded, thinking she understood what Miroku was saying to her, and the unsaid things in between the lines. "What happened?"

"Someone tried to posses h-"

"WHAT?!" Miroku was interrupted by a miko, a demon, and a door nearly being torn from its hinges. He shot a glare at them both, freezing them in the threshold that they were currently trying to leave.

"Shippou," Miroku continued to ignore the two that so desperately wanted to know what had befallen Inuyasha. "May I ask a favor of you?"

The fox kit walked forward, squirming through Kagome's and Sesshomaru's legs. "Yeah?"

"Will you accompany Lady Sango for me?" The fox nodded. "And will you promise to keep very still, and very quiet, just like Sango?" Shippou nodded again.

Miroku turned to Sango, one last request before it was time to deal with what he believed was the heart of the issue. "If Inuyasha asks where I am, or why Shippou is with you, you may tell her it is because I am," He turned his head towards the two beings in the doorway. "_Dealing_ with them."

He saw Sango nod and start to depart when he remembered a detail he'd nearly forgotten. "Oh, and will you take something with you to help clean her up? We are both equally filthy." Which was a lie. Inuyasha was easily twice as covered as he was, since he'd only been kneeling in muck and she'd been lying in it.

There was a short awkward silence, in which Sango nodded again, handed the umbrella to Miroku, and went to go inside and retrieve a few items. The way was parted for her easily, for neither Sesshomaru nor Kagome wanted to get in her way.

They were both giving him pleading, desperate looks. Kagome's struck the monk harshly. How could he cause a friend so much distress? Sesshomaru's was equally distressing. Miroku had never seen so much emotion on the demon's face. He ignored his own heart's protests by giving them a harsher glare. Sometimes love was tough, and for the sake of Inuyasha, this fighting between Kagome and Sesshomaru had to stop.

Sango was just about to leave, and both of Miroku's current targets were agitated. Sango looked over, and it seemed she too was affected by just how much each cared for Inuyasha and were now so deeply fearful for the half-demon's wellbeing.

Miroku brought her out of her hesitation a little more harshly than he meant too. "Please, Sango, I am against leaving Inuyasha alone for this long!" It did the trick, for Sango and Shippou immediately left, but it further upset the other two. Miroku continued to ignore their protests.

"Inside!" He barked at them, advancing towards the door. They each retreated.

"Now, you are going to tell me, in a civilized manner, just exactly what happened between you three today." Both started speaking at the same time. Miroku couldn't fully understand what either was saying, but it was accusing, and exactly not what Inuyasha needed at the moment.

"I said Civilized!" He raised a hand to silence each of them. "If you are going to act like children, then I will treat you like children." Well that humbled them both. "You will each get your chance to speak, and the other must remain silent until it is their turn." Miroku moved between the two as he gave his directions. He first turned to Sesshomaru.

"Sesshomaru."

"That wench just jumped out and attacked me!"

Kagome gasped, in complete shock. How could that basta-

Miroku gave her a glare that told her that the monk would be obeyed. He turned back to Sesshomaru. "Is that all you have to offer?" When he got no additional information, he turned to Kagome.

Kagome didn't wait for Miroku to say her name. She pointed an accusing finger at Sesshomaru and announced, "He Raped Her!"

Sesshomaru's mouth fell open in shock. "What?!"

"You heard me you son of a-"

"Do I have to take you down to the level of toddlers?!" Miroku stopped another fight before it could begin. Once he had relative control once more, he spoke.

"Kagome, these are serious charges. Are you sure?" Miroku, of course, was not.

"She told me herself." Kagome replied, crossing her arms.

Miroku heard sounds of objection from the demon behind him. He silenced them by asking a question. "You asked her?"

Kagome nodded, smug that finally there would be an ally against that demon bastard.

"And your exact words were...?"

Kagome blinked. Her certain victory did not seem so certain. "What does it-"

"What. Were. They?"

Kagome was silent a moody moment. "Fine, all I asked was, 'Did he?' But I just couldn't say the word! You should have seen just how upset she was! She-" Miroku didn't allow any further explanation.

"Sesshomaru, got something to say?" Miroku asked, certain that he did.

"All I Did Was KISS Her! No raping, no forcing, KISSING!" The demon looked ready to kill.

Miroku turned back to the miko. She also looked ready to kill.

Miroku groaned audibly. Then he shook, ready to kill them both. "Can you not See?! Do you not understand that your petty Jealousy for each other has driven Inuyasha to the point of being Taken Over by some opportunistic creature?"

Kagome and Sesshomaru bowed their heads, but first shot "Look what you did" glances at the other.

Oh, it was time for some shock therapy. Miroku did not care if he hurt these two any longer. They were not getting the message. "If you do not tread lightly, we will lose Inuyasha _Forever_!"

Now there was an appropriate amount of terror in each "Love's" eyes.

"Maybe if you two stop your bickering, the damage done can be mended, but just in case you are fooling yourselves by thinking that Inuyasha is perfectly fine, let me tell you this: You were on the _brink_ of losing her. One more moment, one wrongly worded phrase, and she would have been gone. So I would thank my lucky stars, if I were you, and I would stop this foolishness, because you two have only been making things worse since the start!"

There was silence. Stunned silence. Frightened silence. It was a silence that let Miroku know his goal had been accomplished. "Now I am going back, and you two are to stay here and try to work out your differences. Inuyasha does not need more posturing from you **IF **she decides to return." With that, Miroku turned, taking a few dry towels and blankets, for he really would like to become dry at some point, and he left.

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Inuyasha wasn't much cleaner when Miroku returned than when he'd been with her before. Sango had merely been able to coax the other into standing further out into the rain to wash off some of the grime. Miroku gave Sango a parting nod as she and Shippou left. Inuyasha glared moodily off into the dark.

After the two were gone with Killala, Inuyasha asked sharply. "What are you doing?"

Miroku stood with his back to the other. "Getting dry." He continued stripping. Though Inuyasha was currently a lady, the half-demon had seen the monk naked enough times that it should not matter what body Inuyasha held. There were no secrets between guys, even if one was an ex-male.

Miroku hung his seeping clothing on one of the branches of the tree before wrapping himself comfortably in a towel, and then draped blanket about his shoulders. He sat down at the base of the tree, warm and dry. He sat with his eyes closed, almost meditating, and he smiled softy as he heard the squilsh of wet cloth and then the rustle of dry.

"Are you feeling better?" Miroku asked the other, watching Inuyasha hug the blanket about her in a protective manner.

There was a brief pause before Inuyasha answered, "Yeah, I think I am."


	11. Realizations

Oh my little heart! You all nearly made me OD on comments! Thank you! I wish I'd have been able to see my face when I looked and saw the jump from 33 reviews to 37.

Since we are all agreed that Sess and Kags have been acting horribly, let's see if we can't ease Inu's emotional load just a bit.

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There was stunned, and tense silence in the hut. The two beings within it remained standing where the monk had left them, terror and shame forming choking lumps in each throat.

"Assholes." Kagome finally broke through her voice's emotional shackles. "Complete and utter assholes."

Sesshomaru was trying to get his emotions under wraps, but failed to hide the distress from his eyes. "If you are referring to us, then that is one thing we can agree upon."

There was more uncomfortable silence while the demon lord fell prey to his feelings for the first time in years, at least feelings that were not anger and directed at a certain male half-demon. Kagome broke it, for she knew how to properly deal with emotions.

"I thought I was being caring." She stated miserably. "I thought I was helping her by making her talk, and by being there to comfort her." Kagome sat down on the spot she'd been standing. She buried her face in her hands, uttering the confession, "When really I was just too smug and proud that I was finally Inuyasha's confidant to realize that I was making things worse so I could enjoy them more!"

"You are not the only one that has been selfish."

Kagome looked up to see Sesshomaru had joined her on the ground.

"I have been too selfish to understand that Inuyasha would not be thrilled to have a life back that she had never known. And when I unfairly took from her what she was not prepared to give, I was too pleased with myself to see how shaken it had made her." The usually stoic lord of the western lands surprised himself by confessing to his accomplice, whether he acknowledged her as such or not.

"Well, I didn't help by taking her distress to such an extreme. I should have realized she didn't need anymore drama."

"And I should not have been so eager to think that your anger was a result from finding out that she supposedly loved me instead of you."

Kagome sighed. They had both screwed Inuyasha over.

Sesshomaru matched the miko, agreeing with her wholeheartedly, though neither could know it.

"When Inuyasha gets back, we'll stop making advances at her, agreed?" Sesshomaru stated to the other.

Kagome nodded in determination. "And we'll be there to listen, but will wait for her to be ready to speak instead of forcing her."

The two wooers of Inuyasha looked into the other's eyes, deciding then and there that they would form a tag team effort for Inuyasha.

"Surely between two of us, we can be..." Sesshomaru began.

"...a source of comfort and care." Kagome finished.

The two, newly joined, companions shook on their deal just as Sango returned. She smiled upon the sight. Maybe Inuyasha would be all right after all.

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Miroku awoke to a twitch of a furry triangle, flattened against the underside of his jaw. He glanced down, seeing that Inuyasha had decided to rest against him in the night. The monk pulled the edge of the other's blanket farther up on her bare shoulder, protecting her from view. One could say it was a 'loving' gesture, but this monk did not love in the way an outsider might think.

Miroku thought of Inuyasha as one hell of a companion.

The monk chuckled softly. Sometimes the brash actions and foolhardy decisions the half-demon made... well they were enough to drive one to madness. And yet, Miroku had been growing more and more fond of leading the younger male towards the right decision.

And the passions that burned through the other? They certainly did spice life up, though arguments and brazen stupidity usually were never the right path to go down. Not that Inuyasha ever cared. Inuyasha did whatever he pleased, when he pleased.

Miroku's brow furrowed at himself. He wasn't quite being fair. Inuyasha could also, under the right circumstances and with the right prodding, be a very wonderful listener. He could also be, occasionally, counted upon for a good, stimulating conversation. Inuyasha certainly had a very different point of view from the monk, and Miroku would be a liar if he said he didn't enjoy seeing things from such a different perspective from time to time.

For example, when they had first met, it had almost surprised Miroku that a demon could have a point of view, or at least one so deep and complicated. Demons were usually "eat this" or "destroy that" as far as Miroku had been concerned. If the monk had been a prejudiced man, he would have attributed it to Inuyasha's human mother... but as it were, he didn't. Most likely because Shippou was just like any other child; rambunctious, carefree, and maybe just a bit spoiled. And as for Killala, Miroku had never come across a more loyal or intelligent feline of the mundane sorts.

He put an arm around his friend of mixed heritages and thought, briefly, on just what their relationship could be categorized as. It was more than mere companion, for Miroku enjoyed consoling and guiding the other just a little too much. Maybe it had slipped into a form of brotherhood. Constant danger and battle could often bring allies together in such a way. Whatever it was, if Inuyasha was just as happy with it, Miroku would continue to play the elder brother role he found himself in.

Then the monk heaved a sigh, thinking to himself, "_Since Sesshomaru doesn't want to play that role._"

His exhale had ghosted over the other's exposed ear, and it twitched violently to get rid of the feeling. Miroku remained still, allowing himself a smile instead of a laugh, for if Inuyasha was so close to waking, Miroku didn't want to force her to come up from sleep if she did not want to. Sleep was probably a very good thing for her to do right now.

Miroku was relieved when the offended ear quieted down, Inuyasha shifting closer to him with a soft, sleepy, grunt.

"_Inuyasha, my friend,_" Miroku thought, wishing that Inuyasha would hear him through her sleep and his own skull, "_I am so sorry that this transformation has rocked you so deeply, right down to your very core from what I can tell. I hope you can see that your friends love you. And even though your brother and Kagome have been very selfish as of late, they also truly care for you._" He couldn't help but give Inuyasha a squeeze about the shoulders. "_And as long as I am breathing, they will not distress you in that way again._"

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Inuyasha woke up, hearing and smelling the making of breakfast coming from the shack only a stone's throw away... well a half-demon's stone's throw. She furrowed her brow. She wished she was still in the unfeeling abyss of dreamless sleep, but found herself unable to regain it. Inuyasha grumbled under her breath, wondering where the monk had gone. A quick sniff and a demon cat told her that Miroku had left her... and from what Inuyasha could tell, he had just left.

"Keep watch, Killala." Inuyasha mumbled to the cat, which transformed in response.

The newly female half demon stood up, found where she had discarded her previously soaked clothing, and very, very quickly, she dressed. Inuyasha could not bear the sight of her new, and foreign body.

"Ten days, and I still can't even look at myself." Inuyasha said bitterly, tying her pants with a little more force than she intended. Killala moved closer and nuzzled the other's hand with her head. Inuyasha stroked the other absently, grateful that she had a friend that could not speak any words. Inuyasha was sick of words, even the kind and understanding words of Miroku, or the gentle, motherly coaxing of Sango. Inuyasha had had enough.

She sat down, leaning against the tree once more. Killala, a tiny feline once more, hopped into the other's lap and enjoyed more absent strokes. The cat mewled to the teen girl, or at least to what appeared to be a teen girl.

"What? You think I'm being harsh?" Inuyasha mumbled to the cat, imagining what Killala would be saying to her.

"Well, since Miroku talked to them, I'm sure they'll leave me alone. I guess I am being a bit harsh, hating them and all."

**No you're not.**

Inuyasha instantly tensed, eyes going wide.

**Did you really think I would abandon you?**

_G-go away._

Killala mewled questioningly. Why had the petting stopped, and why did Inuyasha smell afraid? She gave the other a louder, questioning mew, gently pawing on Inuyasha's collarbone.

Inuyasha blinked, then put a hand to her head as if she had a headache.

**You cannot be rid of me so easily.** The voice in the back of her mind spat.

_I know._ Inuyasha mentally replied. She looked down and picked up the concerned feline in her lap. She hugged the wonderfully wordless Killala to her, beginning to rock gently.

Inuyasha could feel the smirk of the voice as it invaded her mind further. The heavy weight in her chest grew as the voice came closer, threatening with multitudes of unspoken and beautifully horrible words.

_Oh, gods do I know._

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Miroku approached where he'd left the sleeping Inuyasha with an offering of a wholesome, hot breakfast, when he heard the feline cry of confusion and worry from Killala. He hurried the rest of the way, seeing Inuyasha pick up and hold the cat to her chest. Her eyes were wide and frightened, and starting to darken alarmingly.

"Inuyasha!" Miroku rushed forward.

Miroku watched as the other's eyes thankfully snapped back to a golden amber and turn to him. He smiled thankfully, now kneeling in front of the other. Killala squirmed and gave a mewl, announcing that she was being crushed. Inuyasha loosened her grip on the cat, which happily leapt away. Killala sat, licking her paw in such a manner that she seemed to be saying, "Okay, monk. I leave the rest to you."

Miroku opened his mouth to ask if Inuyasha was all right, but the wind was knocked out of him in the sudden and desperate way the half-demon was now clinging to him.

Miroku didn't comment on the way his chest was being crushed as he moved his arms to also embrace the other tightly. But he did realize that this entity needed to be removed from his friend's aura, and now. "Inuyasha, something has happened, and you need to tell me what."

**And now the monk wants things of you.**

_He's just worried._

**No. **Inuyasha felt the words slash at her viciously. **He is **_**Wanting**_

"Inuyasha, we need to loosen thing being's grip on you. I can help you better if you tell me." Inuyasha could hear Miroku's voice forcibly break through the voice's impromptu barrier between her and it and the outside world. She suddenly felt the urge to get rid of all these words, swimming and festering inside her. She clutched more tightly to the monk's clothing that she could now feel in her hands, trying to find the strength to get them out.

**No you don't! Don't you dare try to get rid of me!** The voice dug in its heels. She could feel the weight drag her down, trying to pull her away from Miroku, but she held on harder.

"Mir..." Miroku heard the faint syllable at his ear.

"Yes, Inuyasha. I'm here." He reached for the item he'd brought to help exorcize what ever would not let Inuyasha go, but he was not going to use it unless there was no other choice. He gripped the paper seal in his hand, moving his arm back to hold her close to him, matching her death grip.

Inuyasha felt so much lighter, even getting out that much, and the weight continued to decrease when she felt Miroku gently pushing at the intruder's aura with his own.

**Inuyasha, You have not seen the last of me.** The voice vowed; no longer fighting to stay, but fighting to stay long enough to say a few cruel parting words. **I will be here, waiting. And you know I will not have to wait long. You are surrounded by hate and by love. ** The voice laughed despite being pushed farther and farther away. **And when you need me: merely give in to the darkness, and I will **_**take**_** you. **

The voice finally let go, and as it did so, the burden in Inuyasha's chest went wild at the sudden absence of the being that controlled it. But in its chaos, Inuyasha found the strength to cast the words out of her.

"I HATE LOVE AND EVERYTHING THAT INDULGES IN SUCH A WEAK EMOTION! I HATE EVERYONE THAT EVER DARED TO LOVE ME! I HATE SESSHOMARU AND HIS IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS! I HATE KAGOME AND HER INABILITY TO LEAVE ME ALONE! I HATE KIKYOU AND HER DAMNED SHIKON JEWEL!" Inuyasha shrieked against Miroku's shoulder. Miroku held on to her in horror as the half-demon shook with the force of her declarations. "I HATE THE FATHER WHO DID THIS TO ME AND I HATE THE MOTHER THAT LET HIM! I HATE THE SERVANTS THAT WENT THROUGH WITH IT! AND MOST OF ALL, I HATE ME!" Inuyasha's body increased it's trembling and her grip relaxed. Miroku was relieved to hear deep, cleansing sobs replace the horrid screaming.

"It's over now." He held the other close to him. "It's all over now."

The monk and the half-demon sat together in a slowly relaxing embrace until all the tears and depression had been wringed of the latter's soul. It was the first and only time in the half-demon's life, that Inuyasha was thankful to cry.


	12. On the Edge of Darkness

I just have to tell you, reviewers, you have driven my muse to a frenzy him and me have yet to experience. I don't know if you've noticed yet, but I'm completely psychotic, and have named my muse. His name is Tybalt, he has a tender and yet fierce ego, and your comments have made him puff up like a peacock. As a result this is the first time ever that I actually KNOW how the Fic will end.

BTW, Chp 8 makes so much more sense when you know that the bold font isn't Inuyasha talking to herself.

I must also apologize that the luvins aren't comin' as soon as some initially may have thought. As **Nikkie23534 **puts it, Sess needs to prove his luv, and Kags needs to be taken down a peg or two as well.

**Onyxlight **– I hold your reviews with soo much esteem that Tybalt starts calling me crazy... which I guess I am. Thank you for every comment! As for the thing in Inu's mind, it is **Bold-font-voice** and Bold-font-voice knows how to wield the power of words.

**MoroTheWolfGod **– Yes, Miroku is awesome as a big brother, isn't he? And don't worry, if Sess forgets his promise to Inu and to Kags, then Miroku _will _rub it in his face.

**Wolfluv **– This is a response to your review of chp 10. I can't thank you enough for saying Miroku is very IC and that this is one of the best fics where Inu becomes a girl. I don't mean to be arrogant... _but I agree_

**Nikkie23534 **– Between you and me, it did start out as her inner Youkai... but when I was editing it while I was thinking of posting it, Tybalt woke up, smacked me in the head, and yelled at me how the story was going to go and made me change my mind. Muses are insistent little mofo's, if you know what I mean.

Okay, that's all. I just _had_ to reward some of my reviewers.

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Miroku was in a state of complete and utter shock. Apparently more damage had been done to his friend than he could ever have imagined. The words Inuyasha had screamed had been so horrible... He could barely believe that Inuyasha had carried these thoughts with her.

The half demon in his arms shuddered violently, and Miroku was ripped out of his stunned stupor. He held her tightly once more, for his grip had slackened and he continued to murmur encouragements to the other.

"_My friend,"_ Miroku thought in his mind, "_My friend, my brother, my sister... how could you have become so damaged in such a small frame of time?_" Miroku fought the urge to leave the other and search out to destroy whatever entity had corrupted the half-demon in less that a few mere hours.

The words Inuyasha had shouted came back to him. "_How could you hate love?"_ Miroku knew the answer. Love had not been kind to his young friend. Love had pinned her to a tree. More recently, love had turned two people, who Miroku _knew_ Inuyasha valued beyond anything, against each other. He knew the added tension had been the deciding factor in causing what was currently shaking in his arms, but he had to ask. He had to make sure that these words had been the corrupting of some demon and not truly words from Inuyasha's heart.

"Inuyasha..." Miroku whispered softly, stroking the half-demon's hair as he spoke. "Do you honestly feel that way?"

Inuyasha shifted her head on Miroku's shoulders. "What way?"

Her voice sounded so far away, and so tired. Miroku almost dropped it right there, but he _had_ to know. He had to know for Inuyasha's own sake. He had to know so he could help her heart to heal.

"Are you really so full of hate?"

There was silence as Inuyasha pulled away from him. Their arms fell out of their embrace as Inuyasha regarded Miroku with aged, _ancient_, eyes.

"..." Inuyasha was silent, seeming to have trouble pulling together enough energy to speak.

"Yes, Miroku." She turned her gaze away, looking so... passive, detached, hollow... Miroku could not tell. "I think I am."

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Sesshomaru and Kagome were sitting near each other, as if they could mentally converse and by so doing, decide just what they were going to do to help their mutual love. But suddenly, Sesshomaru sat just a little straighter, and turned his head towards the voice that he hoped to high heaven was not his little sister.

"_I hate love and everything that indulges in such a weak emotion!"_ The demon lord cringed, unable to hide his shock. Kagome looked at him in alarm, and tried to ask him what was wrong, but Sesshomaru couldn't answer. _"I hate everyone that has ever dared to love me!"_

Sesshomaru's mouth fell open. _"I hate Sesshomaru and his impossible demands!"_ The rest of the world faded till all the great demon lord was aware of was the smell of Inuyasha's tears from over a great distance, and the sensed anger of her inner demon that swelled and fluctuated with her screams. He wasn't even aware of her next few words anymore, for her declaration of hate for him echoed in Sesshomaru's uncharacteristically chaotic mind.

Kagome was now alarmed. Both Sesshomaru and Shippou were staring in utter shock at the path Inuyasha could be found at the end of. She had half a mind to shake the stuffing out of one of them, just so she could find out if there was any danger Inuyasha was in. Sango was equally distressed, but she was aware of herself to know that if Inuyasha was in dire straights, Sesshomaru would have bound off to her rescue and not remained staring in her general direction.

Then the humans got their answer in the forms of an echo.

"_I hate love and everything that indulges in such a weak emotion! I hate everyone that has ever dared to love me! I hate Sesshomaru and his impossible demands! I hate Kagome and her inability to leave me alone!"_

Kagome, at this point, joined Sesshomaru in stunned stupor and in self-loathing and in heartache. Sango and Shippou continued listening and hearing.

"_I hate Kikyou and her damned Shikon Jewel! I hate the Father who did this to me and I hate the Mother that let him! I hate the servants that went through with it! And most of all, I HATE ME!"_

The last word reverberated a few times, for it had been much louder than the rest of Inuyasha's 'Hates'.

The group was silent.

Not a sound.

"Inuyasha's not going to be okay, is she?" Shippou was the one to break the silence. It brought Sesshomaru and Kagome out of their trances, but neither answered the fox kit.

It was the demon slayer who ended up having the courage.

"She will be. It's just going to take more time than we thought."

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Miroku remained staring at Inuyasha, but the half-demon didn't notice as she looked out into the distance.

"I..." She began hesitantly, "I felt this way before. It just took..."

Inuyasha didn't know what to call the voice... for it was more than _just_ a voice. She had thought it was herself. It had spoken what she was too afraid to put into whole thoughts. It had terrified her, but it had soothed her. Though the thoughts it came with were heart breaking, they were already half-thoughts in the back of her mind. It had not told her anything new.

She found, now that it was gone, she missed the voice. True, it had terrified her... It had tried to take her away... but it had spoken truth. It had spoken her thoughts. It had pointed out her fears and her pain, and now they were gone. She felt so blissfully numb. Yes, Inuyasha missed the voice tremendously.

The voice's final words to her came to mind.

"When you need me... I will take you." She mumbled under her breath.

In later days, when Miroku knew what those words meant, he will wish he had caught that muttered sentence. He will wish he had stopped and gotten out of Inuyasha what those words had meant.

But at the time, he did not.

"What?" Miroku snapped back to the present. In the length of time it had taken Inuyasha to speak once more, his mind had wandered to his thoughts. His focus was almost impossible to regain due to his sadness for the other's pain and his complete and utter shock.

Inuyasha shook her head.

Miroku took it to mean that Inuyasha hadn't said anything.

Inuyasha meant she didn't want to tell him more.

She knew what those words meant. This voice, she would meet again. And he would _take_ her. The thought brought fear and adrenaline into her blood instantly. And yet, it made a heat rise in her belly. As she mulled over the phrase, her stomach made flipping sensations.

"_Who ever you are,_" Inuyasha thought, biting her lower lip as she resisted her churning gut. "_You might be worth meeting._"

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When Inuyasha suggested that the go back to the rest of the group, Miroku was elated. When he asked her what had changed her mind, she had replied that she wanted to give Kagome and Sesshomaru another chance. It greatly improved Miroku's state of mind, thinking that maybe Inuyasha was not truly so full of hate and unpleasant emotions. Maybe she had just been under the sway of that partial demonic possession. He smiled, believing it to be true, as they walked back.

Before Inuyasha could be asked questions, Miroku shot a glare at anyone who seemed about to open their mouth. It was midday, and all were out with the promise of Sango's prepared lunch. Miroku had had to glare at each of them.

It was then that Inuyasha surprised the monk, and the rest of the group.

"You heard what I said." She stated, sitting in a way that was very characteristic of Inuyasha.

It was again Sango who had the strength to speak. "Yes, we did."

"I was very upset." Inuyasha stated again, in the same pensive tone.

"We could tell." The slayer nodded.

Inuyasha's mouth pulled into a soft, almost bitter, smile. She looked over at Sesshomaru and Kagome. "I know it sounded harsh," Inuyasha was... laughing? "But it wasn't fair, or true. Relax."

All but the two the comment was aimed at, found Inuyasha's soft laugh as a comforting action, and felt eased in their anxiety by it. Surely Inuyasha had to be feeling immensely better if she was laughing?

Kagome and Sesshomaru, on the other hand, both acted as if it had not bothered them... but they could not help but feel on edge.

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I have only one more thing to add:

Next chapter is going to be one Hell of a ride. The identity of the voice will be made known, friends will have to do the hardest thing they've ever done, and Inuyasha will spiral like never before.

Now try to enjoy your weekend while I'm cooped up and unable to write.


	13. Relapse

WARNING

Okay, now, to explain my absence.

Life has decided to kick me in the ass as of late. I've been going on school trips and band trips and educational trips. Traveling is rather hard on my body and me and to tell you the truth my back has been in quite a bit of pain over the last few months. It's almost over. I have a band trip for a contest on Wednesday and this Saturday I think, and then there will be another if we do well on Wednesday. Then after that, sometime in May I'll be going on a school trip to Germany. Thank god for fund raising!

But anyway, I have been very ill and busy. Today I'm staying home from school with a massive headache, but I'm going to write anyway. I've been wanting to and this current bout of sick is giving me the chance to do so.

BTW, thanks for all the reviews, harsh, neutral, and glowing. They make me smile and they make my Muse fluff up with ego.

So enjoy your Yuri and plot twist and I'll see if I can't make this the longest chapter in the story so far. Also note, Don't Fear. The next chapter won't be too long of a wait. I just couldn't take it anymore and had to post this thing, right now.

(BTW, I was sure I had written out this chapter... but I can't find it... So I guess I'll write it out again!)

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Kagome leaned against a tree. "Is it just me, or is Inuyasha still..."

"Cold?" Sesshomaru offered, on the other side of the clearing. "Yes, I noticed it as well."

"Not that you can blame her, but it's been over two weeks already. I thought we'd been doing good."

"Inuyasha was always one to hold a grudge."

"Not against me." Kagome sighed. "Welcome to the club I guess."

Sesshomaru rolled his eyes. Stupid girl and her stupid phrases. "What club?"

"The Inuyasha-hates-me club. Current membership, the world."

"Clever." Sesshomaru stated with a flat tone.

"Well... everyone but Miroku practically." Kagome sighed.

"Damn him."

"Hey! He's been doing a better job than us at taking care of her!"

"His only redeeming quality." Sesshomaru gruffed. He knew for Inuyasha's sake, the monk had to stay. She needed to be with her friends. But Sesshomaru's patience was wearing thin. He might have been able to handle the wait for Inuyasha to become accustomed to her new life if she was... well, more herself! Over the last two weeks Inuyasha had been nothing but heartless.

The monk got soft smiles. The demon slayer was talked with. Inuyasha even endured the presence of that bouncing kit! But Him, Sesshomaru? Inuyasha actively avoided him. Granted, she avoided the priestess now too, but that was little consolation. How could Sesshomaru prove that he cared for her, if Inuyasha wouldn't even look at him, let alone talking to him? Sesshomaru sighed, ignoring Kagome's insistence that Miroku was a good man.

"I'm sure Inuyasha will snap out of it soon." Kagome offered Sesshomaru, hearing his unhappy exhale.

"Don't presume to toy with me."

"No, really! The new moon is tomorrow night. Once Inuyasha doesn't have to deal with that, then I'm sure-"

"He'll go right back to your arms. Is that it?" Sesshomaru hissed.

"All I'm hoping right now is that Inuyasha will forgive us." Kagome replied sternly.

"Oh, so being his wench again would only be a fringe benefit?"

Kagome almost saw red. She took a hostile step forward, hands turned into fists at her sides. "Do you have any idea how much like him you are, Mr. High and Mighty Demon Lord?!"

"Don't you presume to know what I am like!" Sesshomaru growled.

"Oh, I am sorry!" Kagome spat with venom, the formality of the phrase poking at Sesshomaru's holier-than-thou attitude towards life. "Please forgive me, my lord!" She turned to walk back to everyone else, her afternoon walk completely ruined. She ignored his growls and the chance that he might decide to strike her down with her back turned. Somehow she managed to walk away without being maimed.

"Hey, Inuyasha." Kagome said after spotting the half-demon. Several minutes had passed since she'd blown up at Sesshomaru, so she was able to speak kindly.

Inuyasha nodded her acknowledgment of Kagome's presence.

"Are you going somewhere or something?" Kagome asked, hoping for words. Something, Anything!

Inuyasha shook her head. Kagome's heart fell as Inuyasha continued walking in some direction, supposedly on the whim of the moment and as Kagome saw it, as a way to get away from her.

"Weren't you out on a walk with Sesshomaru?"

Kagome looked up, surprised, and gave the back of Inuyasha's head a confused yet elated expression. Was this Inuyasha giving her a chance? Or was Inuyasha just asking a question? At any rate, Kagome was thankful.

"Yeah, but we sort of got on each other's nerves." Kagome confessed, since Inuyasha preferred to not be lied to. "Nothing major though." Kagome added.

Inuyasha was silent again, but Kagome decided to take her chances. "Can I go walking with you?"

Kagome's risk was rewarded. "If you want."

They walked in silence for a while, Kagome matching Inuyasha's pensive pace. After what Kagome took to be a comfortable silence, being an optimist and all that, Kagome confessed to Inuyasha, "I've missed this."

Inuyasha turned her gaze from their surroundings and actually looked Kagome in the eye. "What?"

"Being with you."

"It's just a walk."

"But still. Even if we aren't talking, I like being with you." Kagome replied.

Inuyasha turned away again. Kagome guessed Inuyasha was at a loss for words, or didn't want to talk anymore. So she started walking again. "Come on. I saw a bridge the other day. I bet if we try, we can find it."

Inuyasha followed her, and soon they were walking side-by-side, Kagome feeling as if she was on the road to forgiveness.

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"Stupid ass Bitch!" Sesshomaru cursed. He was alone, and therefore got to cave in to the anger and frustration he had been battling. "Damn her and Damn that monk and the rest of them!"

It wasn't fair! Why could Sesshomaru take care of and run the ENTIRE western lands without a hitch, yet when it came to the one person that mattered, He couldn't even outdo a gaggle of humans!

Sesshomaru raged, destroying whatever plant specimen dared to impede his march through the forest. He tried to think just how he could translate his leadership abilities into some form of plan to regain Inuyasha's affections... if he'd ever had them in the first place.

Well... that human girl, Rin adored him. Sesshomaru wasn't quite sure why, other than the fact that he'd allowed her to help him once, and in return had brought her back to the living. But now that Sesshomaru thought about it, he hadn't really earned her devotion. He was cold, calloused, and rarely spoke to the girl, yet whenever he left she begged him not to go, and when he returned she would chatter about this and that and anything that she had done while he'd been away.

And that toad of an imp, Jaken, followed his every footstep. The wretch worshipped the ground he walked on. But was that merely fear, or the toad's tendency towards a fanatical nature?

It was certainly puzzling. Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western Lands, had only two followers he could think of as friends. Certainly servants and other Demon Lords and Ladies surrounded him, but he dealt with them in a different way. It felt like the only thing he was gifted at was commanding respect and negotiating out what he wanted.

And neither of those tactics worked with Inuyasha. The half-breed lout wouldn't submit to Sesshomaru's will through a test of power, nor be talked into a role that Sesshomaru would enjoy.

What was it that Sesshomaru needed to do to get through to Inuyasha's heart, even if it was only so that Inuyasha would look at him without an aura of hate?!

The answer wasn't being beaten out of the plant life, so Sesshomaru ceased his attacks. Maybe that damned monk would know. Sesshomaru did not want to ask anyone for help, let alone that bastard of a monk, but he was desperate. He was just about ready to try anything.

"Well, I could keep waiting anyway." Sesshomaru grumbled to himself, turning around to follow his path of destruction back to the humans. "Just because I'm going back there doesn't mean I'm going back to ask the advice of a lowly human."

Whether Sesshomaru recognized this as a sad attempt at an excuse or not, he didn't outwardly acknowledge as he replaced his cold, stoic mask upon his face.

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Kagome looked over the railing of the wooden bridge into the rushing river below. The sun was halfway between the top of the sky and the horizon. The birds were singing their afternoon songs and dragonflies buzzed about the water. A gentle breeze tickled Kagome's hair, and she pushed it back behind her ear.

"Do you want to stay here for a bit?"

"It's nice here." Inuyasha stated, leaning her back against the rail and gazing across the bridge to the view of the whole valley.

Kagome turned around and mimicked Inuyasha's pose. This view was breathtaking; the purple mountains in the distance against a crystalline sky, with a glistening river cutting through emerald green meadows. The breeze carried the scent of wild flowers, most likely from the fields they were looking at.

Kagome looked to her right, at Inuyasha. She was still an inch or two shorter than her. Kagome caught herself thinking that even from this profile view, Inuyasha was just as breathtaking as the valley. It might have been a rather homosexual thought, but Kagome didn't think so. She was merely appreciating the beauty of the girl next to her. Who wouldn't think Inuyasha was pretty, with all that flowing white hair, pouting lips, and deep, amber eyes that seemed to glow. Even the breeze seemed to be aware of Inuyasha's looks, for it gently rustled the half-demons locks like a slow motion scene from a romance movie.

Those amber eyes, that Kagome could lose herself in whether Inuyasha was male or not, slowly turned, with the rest of her head to look into Kagome's.

"What?"

"I've really missed you." Kagome stated. She missed looking at Inuyasha, talking with Inuyasha, being with Inuyasha, fighting with Inuyasha. Kagome missed everything about the other.

"... Well, could you stop looking at me like that?" Inuyasha returned to looking at the view.

"Sorry," Kagome mumbled. She joined Inuyasha in gazing at the scenery. "You know, you're very pretty."

Inuyasha snapped her gaze back to Kagome so quickly that Kagome was almost alarmed. "I was only stating a fact. Relax."

"Why would you think I'm pretty?"

"Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm blind, Inuyasha." Kagome laughed nervously. "It's not a big deal. I think Sango's pretty too."

Inuyasha turned around to look down at the water. "Forgive me if I disagree with you." Kagome heard her mumble.

"Inuyasha, are you kidding?" Kagome moved closer to the other. "Have you even looked at yourself?"

"Maybe I don't want to look."

Kagome put a hand on the other's shoulder. "Come on." She gently turned the other to face her. "Let's take a look, huh?"

She took Inuyasha's hand and led them off the bridge and along the river's edge until they got to a place where a small half-pond had formed where half the river's flow was brought to a halt while the rest continued in a narrow river.

"Now you look in that pool and tell me you don't see someone beautiful."

"Kagome, I don't care."

"Humor me, Inuyasha. Please?" Kagome smoothly pulled Inuyasha closer to her and the water. Inuyasha leaned forward enough for her pouting reflection to be seen.

"There, happy?"

"Well, you'd look a lot nicer if you'd smile."

"What's there to smile about?"

"It's a lovely afternoon, we haven't been bothered by demons at all lately, and you get to turn back into a man if you want to tomorrow night." Kagome answered. "What's there to frown about?"

Inuyasha sighed and ceased to look so angry. "Nothing, I guess."

Kagome smiled, looking over Inuyasha's shoulder and down at their reflection. Her mirrored face beamed back at her, and Inuyasha's soon looked her in the eye as well with a calm, almost contented expression. "See?"

"Maybe."

Kagome laughed softly, and without even thinking, turned her head and pecked Inuyasha on the cheek. "Good, I like seein-"

Kagome realized what had happened when she looked back at the water and saw Inuyasha's eyes completely round with what appeared to be shock. It stopped Kagome's sentence cold. She turned her head to the real Inuyasha, stepping away from the other. "Look at me." She commanded softly.

Inuyasha slowly turned, but didn't face her. The half-demon's face was cast towards the ground, her bangs hiding her eyes.

"Inuyasha, look at me." Kagome lifted the other's chin with her hand until Inuyasha was looking her in the eye.

"I love you, no matter what you are. I don't care if your human or demon, or man or woman. I promised to always be at your side, so why would I leave now."

Inuyasha glanced away for a moment, then looked back, her expression changing as she did so from shame and sadness to a sort of shy, complex look. Kagome couldn't tell what the other was thinking, but she didn't have to guess too much longer.

"How come you know what to say all the time?"

Kagome pulled Inuyasha into a hug, not that Inuyasha was fighting against her. She kissed Inuyasha's forehead, through her unruly hair, and smiled. "I don't. I just say what I feel and hope I said it right."

Inuyasha looked down again, and Kagome pulled her closer to make the other lean against her chest. She nuzzled her cheek against the top of Inuyasha's head. "Can you forgive me for what happened a few weeks ago, Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha answered with a sigh as she relaxed into Kagome's arms.

"_I'll take that as a yes!_" Kagome thought happily. She gave the nearest dog-ear a peck, laughing inwardly at herself that she was peppering Inuyasha so with kisses. She didn't care. It wasn't as if Inuyasha was objecting to her attentions. Kagome moved one hand boldly to bury itself in Inuyasha's tangled tresses. Inuyasha shifted her head away from her enough too look up at Kagome.

Kagome wanted to fall into those eyes. She loved their golden hue so much, and it made her soul soar to have them locked in her gaze. Without so much as a second thought, Kagome leaned forward, and kissed her Inuyasha for what felt like the first true time.

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"_She's kissing me!"_ Inuyasha thought, unable to tell if it thrilled her or frightened her. "_She is actually kissing me!_"

Kagome took a step back and Inuyasha followed her lead. Kagome walked them away from the water, all the while still stealing Inuyasha's breath, and then backed Inuyasha against a tree. Inuyasha closed her eyes, feeling Kagome's hands run down her arms, placing them straight down at her sides.

"_What in all the world is she doing?"_ Inuyasha thought. One of Kagome's hands moved to her neck, the other slipped behind her back. Kagome stopped kissing her, and Inuyasha opened her eyes. But instead of looking at Kagome's face, Inuyasha felt her mouth at her neck. Because of Kagome's hand on the other side, Inuyasha felt horrible trapped. She opened her mouth to protest, but Kagome moved over some spot on her neck that almost burned in return. Inuyasha's protest was killed by a shaky gasp, and replaced by a soft moan when Kagome realized what she had discovered and focused her attentions on that one spot.

Inuyasha remained trapped by Kagome's attentions as she moved her hand from Inuyasha's neck to her collarbone, pushing apart the fire rat robe.

"_What in the hell is happening?!_" Inuyasha shut her eyes tight, willing her breath to calm down but finding it impossible.

**What do you think is happening?**

_Not again!_

**Yes, again.**

Inuyasha almost wanted to cry. Yes, she had missed whatever this voice was, but now that it was back, she wanted it gone again. It was just as confusing as Kagome was being now.

Inuyasha felt her shirt being pulled open farther, and then Kagome's breath over the skin of her collarbone. Kagome's hands were feeling down her sides, her fingers touching Inuyasha's skin so lightly. Inuyasha didn't know if it was Kagome or the voice, but her skin was crawling. She wanted to jump right out of it, but all she could do was tremble.

**Well, if you can't understand what is happening, then I'll have to tell you.**

_No! Leave me alone! Why can't you both just leave me alone?!_

**I have left you alone, Inuyasha. She is the one that has pestered you and molested you and now she's-**

_I don't wanna hear it! I don't! Just shut up!_ Inuyasha thought frantically, a desperate cry escaping her lips. But Kagome did not hear it as a sound of distress, but as a sound of pleasure.

**Fine. I won't tell you any more. But what about what you already know? **

_What about it?_ Inuyasha thought; ready to give in to despair. She couldn't fight this. She couldn't fight her mind that sent this voice to torment her, or her body and it's burning and trembling.

**While I have consoled you, left you in peace, what has she done? Caused you misery? Heartache? **

_But-_

**Not even a few moments ago she pledged she would never leave you. That she would always love you. You remember what that means, don't you? You remember what love is like?**

Inuyasha felt herself drifting down, sinking towards the dark voice, this evil that only ever spoke truth.

_...yes, I remember._

**What does it mean?** The voice asked her. She could almost feel it's hateful smirk.

Inuyasha was silent, trying to curl up into a ball and hide.

"**Say it!"** The voice demanded, but now Inuyasha heard it with her ears and not her mind. She opened her eyes, and saw a slick black floor, like she was kneeling on a hardened puddle of ink. She was completely naked, and she covered her chest with her arms and bent low over them, her nose mere inches from the cold flooring.

"_It means she's trapped me, and won't ever let me go; that she'll always hurt me." _

Though she couldn't see it, Inuyasha knew that the voice was just ahead of her, standing over her vulnerable form. She knew without looking that it was smiling down at her, smirking at her confession.

The voice chuckled, a sinister laugh. And then it unleashed its words on her. She shut her eyes tight. She didn't want to see them, these things that were only supposed to be heard and spoken. She didn't want to see as they leaped at her, cutting at her with their cruelness.

"**Inuyasha,"** This word zoomed at her, slicing, biting, and clawing. Inuyasha couldn't help but whimper from the pain of the onslaught.

"**Inuyasha, come to me."**

Inuyasha shook, trembling from the command. She knew, that if she moved, she would be lost forever, but how could she stay there, being carved and maimed by these demonized words or being frozen from the core, like her soul was made of ice?

Tears falling, Inuyasha crept forward, still crouching, trying to hide her shame and protect herself from the words.

The voice laughed as she crawled towards it. She stopped at it's feet and huddled there, trying to control her sobs and her tears.

"**Inuyasha."** The voice said, almost in a mocking tone. **"Stand up."**

Inuyasha felt so cold, frozen from the core, but her tears were so hot. They burned down her cheeks as if they were scalding water. But her blood, which dripped from her growing number of cuts and wounds, burned hotter.

Inuyasha slowly shifted her weight to her feet. Every movement was agony, and words continued to cut at her. After what felt like a lifetime, Inuyasha was on her feet, bare and exposed before the voice.

It laughed again, then spread it's arms. **"Come to me."**

Inuyasha took a shuffling step forward and was enclosed in the arms of the Voice. Her tears and her blood stopped burning. In fact they cooled to the point that Inuyasha was sure she was now enclosed in ice, but it was so comforting, after the way her flesh had burned. The cloth of the voice's sleeves draped down over her, covering her and protecting her from the words. Inuyasha leaned her head against its chest, feeling so exhausted from her crawl into the voice's arms.

She suddenly felt numb inside, and at the same instance she sensed the word-monster's excitement. She opened her eyes to a mere slit, too tired to open them farther, and watched as the words formed chains and wrapped themselves tightly around her soul. It fought and struggled, but the words would not let go. Inuyasha watched it with numb indifference, like one would watch a spider munch on a trapped insect.

Her soul soon ceased its struggles, much like she had, and slowly it laid down on the inky floor, where the words tore into it like starved dogs upon a dying beast.

"..._so cold..." _Inuyasha whimpered, closing her eyes once more.

"**Shh. You won't suffer much longer."** The Voice held her tighter. **"But first you have to say it."**

Inuyasha felt her mind moving slower and slower, her breaths more and more shallow. She was so unbelievably cold, so blissfully frozen. She suddenly knew what she had to say.

"_...Take me, Naraku."_


	14. Thwarted Oblivion

WARNING

Yeah! You guys thought I had died, didn't you?

At anyrate, sorry for the HORRIBLE cliffie in last chapter. I was actually going to have that point be the halfway mark, but then chp 13 would be over 7000 words long! So this is part 2 of Chp 13.

Also, I know, Naraku being the bad guy, soooo overrated, but I didn't feel like making a whole new character for you guys to possibly bash so I figured, stick with Rumiko's creations, and who better to destroy Inu's psyche than Naraku himself? (well, maybe Kikyou, but that's too cruel!)

Ooh! Here's a note. **I got no idea what the heck the clothes are called!** I know something's a Hakama and something's a Haori and something else is a kimono. After that, I got nuthin, so everything is going to be shirt and pants and stuff like that.

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"_What in all the world am I doing?!"_ Kagome thought as she invaded Inuyasha's mouth and led the other girl away from the water. "_This is just too weird! I'm kissing a girl and it's great!_"

Kagome, acting on the spur of the moment, leaned Inuyasha back against a tree and placed the other's arms against it. She put her hand on the crook of Inuyasha's neck, relishing in the warmth of skin against skin. Kagome put her other hand behind Inuyasha's back and closed the gap between their bodies. Kagome was reeling with all the sensations of it: the taste of Inuyasha's mouth, the feel of her body against Kagome's, the sound of her breathing harder and faster. Kagome was struck by the urge to taste all of the other and did not resist it as she leaned her head down to trail kisses down the other's neck. Then, almost suddenly, Inuyasha gasped and let out a moan that made Kagome's spine tingle. She backtracked and Inuyasha moaned again. Kagome had the vague knowledge that this was known as a sweet spot and she'd just discovered one of Inuyasha's. She nipped at that spot, feeling knowledgeable and well, like a sex goddess, and she brushed the top of Inuyasha's shirt open so she could find more spots that Inuyasha seemed to like her to play with.

Kagome trailed nips and kisses down to Inuyasha's collar bone, moving her hands down the other's sides. Inuyasha spasmed beneath her fingers, like someone would if something tickled and they didn't want another to know. Kagome smiled, letting her hands rest at the other's hips. If Inuyasha was ticklish, Kagome wasn't going to torture her. Kagome nipped at the other's collarbone a little harder, wanting to create one of those bruises her friends would talk about called a Hickey. True she wasn't a guy giving one to his girlfriend but Inuyasha didn't seem to mind, since half a second later Inuyasha cried out rather desperately. Kagome shivered. Something in her took delight in making Inuyasha make such an erotic sound.

Kagome, egged on by Inuyasha's throaty gasp, continued trying to form a bruise on the other. Kagome noticed that Inuyasha seemed to get tenser and tenser and started shaking more violently as she sucked on the other's skin.

"Inuyasha, relax." Kagome smiled, lifting her head up to look into Inuyasha's eyes. But the girl had her eyes shut as tightly as possible.

"Inuyasha?" The half demon whimpered piteously.

"Inuyasha, are you okay?" Kagome asked, alarm replacing her excitement rapidly. She gave the other a firm shake by the shoulders. "Inuyasha, answer me!"

There was no response.

Kagome fought off her panic, and quickly flew into action. She yanked Inuyasha's shirt closed once more, and slung the smaller girl's arms over her shoulder and hoisted her up. Kagome turned them around, lugging the limp form of Inuyasha back down the path they had started on.

"SESSHOMARU! KILLALA! SHIPPOU! IF ONE OF YOU CAN HEAR ME, INUYASHA'S IN TROUBLE!" Kagome shouted at the top of her lungs towards where she knew the other's to be. She continued carrying the shaking half-demon, determined to at least meet whoever was going to end up coming halfway.

"Hang on, Inuyasha!" Kagome grunted, shifting Inuyasha's weight on her back. "Just hang on!"

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Ice. Inuyasha was ice. Cold, uncaring, void of life. Her soul was dead, ripped to shreds on a floor of inky darkness. Her will had been stripped from her. Her suffering was almost over. She had only to say the right words, and the Voice, Naraku, would end it all right there in that frozen darkness. With all the strength left in her, which was not even enough to open her eyes, Inuyasha uttered what her enemy wanted to hear in what was barely above a whispered sigh.

"_Take me, Naraku."_

And then Inuyasha was fire. A bloodcurdling scream was ripped from her, along with the arms that had been holding her up and she fell to the floor.

No! This wasn't right! Where was her blissful frozen oblivion?! Why this fire that burned every inch of her? She had given up! She didn't want to fight anymore! Why did she have to suffer now?

She screamed again, unable to stop, feeling as if she was being torn in two. She could feel hands holding her down against the floor, which was no longer so cold, but Inuyasha didn't care. Her body was on fire, from the inside out, and she was sure she was burning alive.

Somewhere someone sobbed her name, but Inuyasha was only a being of pain as peal after peal of screaming destroyed her voice into a hoarse cry. She writhed as she screamed, but those hands held her down, refusing to let her move or to let her limbs contort in pain. Where was Naraku and his merciful promises? Why couldn't she go back to that?

Tears streamed from her eyes; tears of pain, tears of anguish. Inuyasha could feel the faint glimmers of Naraku's presence and tried with all her limited might to slip back into that dark place, to hide in the ice of nothingness, but she was ripped back. She let out a desperate cry, struggling against the arms that she knew belonged to whoever was being so cruel, forcing her to burn when she could just lie down and never wake up instead.

Then it was as if the burning and the pain was happening to something else, something she was sharing suffering with, but not her. It was pushed away, just as Naraku had been, and as it disappeared, so did her consciousness, and soon Inuyasha was sinking into dreamless oblivion.

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Sesshomaru, still grumbling that he didn't really need a human's help, was just stepping off of his carved out path of destruction and onto the real path. And to his great luck, sarcasm intended, there was the damned monk.

"Did Inuyasha come through here?" Miroku asked in confusion, regarding the large amount of destruction.

"_Why the hell didn't I pay attention to what was around me so I could have avoided this bastard?!"_ Sesshomaru thought, though he didn't let an ounce of what he was feeling register on his face or in his voice.

"Maybe."

"Well, do you know where Kagome is? She went walking with you, didn't she?"

"_Oh for Kami's sake!"_ "Yes she did, and no I don't. Nor do I ca-"

Sesshomaru was interrupted by some person shouting his name. He stopped and listened for another moment, but soon realized it was that wench Kagome. Probably shouting about something stupid. Sesshomaru was just about to completely shut out her imbecile ravings from his mind when he heard Kagome shout that Inuyasha was in trouble.

Miroku was left dazed and puzzled as to why Sesshomaru suddenly stopped mid-word and bounded off in the opposite direction. Miroku's confusion quickly spiraled to worry when he realized the only thing that could possible have caused the stoic demon Lord to act so abruptly would be Inuyasha, and from the brief flash in Sesshomaru's eyes, Miroku could guess that it wasn't something good.

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"What happened?" Sesshomaru demanded as he jumped in front of Kagome.

"I don't know! Just get her to Miroku. Fast!"

Well, the wench didn't have to ask him twice. He took Inuyasha from Kagome', carrying his sister bridal style, and was about to leap forward except that damned bitch tried to climb on his shoulders!

"Don't you touch me!" He shook her off.

"You aren't leaving me behind!" Kagome latched onto his shoulders again. "Now just go!"

Sesshomaru growled, cursing the priestess in his mind as he ran them back to the monk, who was already preparing for the worst.

"I feared this would happen. Lay her down here." Miroku gestured towards a mat on the ground inside the hut they were still using as a base of operations once Sesshomaru burst through the doorway.

"You knew?!" Sesshomaru snarled.

"No, I had a bad feeling. It was too easy to get rid of Inuyasha's possessor the first time around." Miroku explained and then repeated his command. "Lay her down."

Kagome had let go of Sesshomaru and dropped to her feet. Sesshomaru, though ready to kill the next human who presumed to give him an order, came farther inside the room and tenderly laid Inuyasha down. The monk was busy doing something with his paper scrolls, but Sesshomaru didn't pay too much attention, for behind the wench, the slayer could be heard asking what had happened, along with the kit.

Kagome turned around with the intention of informing Sango and Shippou outside, so as to give Miroku room for whatever he was going to do, but the Monk stopped her.

"No, I need both of you to help hold her down." Miroku stated, sitting up from what he'd been bending over.

"Hold her down?!"

"What for?!"

"Are you serious?!"

"Is Inuyasha okay?!"

"Do As I Say!" Miroku didn't even begin to try to figure out which exclamation belonged to who. "Ladies take an arm. Gentleman takes the legs. And Shippou you should not be in here." Miroku instructed, moving to kneel at Inuyasha's head.

Kagome and Sango each came forward from the door, doing as told. Sesshomaru moved down to Inuyasha's legs, also without objection.

"What are you going to do?" Kagome asked, so horribly afraid for Inuyasha's wellbeing.

"I am exorcizing this demon out of her once and for all. It is not going to be pretty." Miroku replied, ready with his scroll. "Are you all prepared?" Each nodded gravely, and Miroku brought the scroll down, along with all of his power, onto Inuyasha's forehead.

The result was instantaneous. Inuyasha screamed so horribly, it sickened Miroku's very soul. She writhed and struggled so desperately against them that Miroku had to snap once or twice for the other's to not let her go no matter what. He'd barely been able to shout over her cries that this had to be done. He knew it was so, but why couldn't there be an easier way?

Shippou, who had not obeyed Miroku, was crying. Killala had shown up and was trying to nudge him out of the hut, but Shippou wouldn't leave. How could he? Inuyasha may have been a jerk, but he... she... whatever! Inuyasha was a part of his family now, and she was being hurt so bad! He called out her name but she didn't listen. She just kept screaming and screaming.

Inuyasha's demonic aura began to fade, but Miroku wasn't going to stop, not until every possible shred of enemy was gone from the half-demon, even if that meant he'd have to remove Inuyasha's own demon blood. If it was not done now, she might not have another chance. Miroku cursed himself. He should have done this earlier, when he had time to sift through the girl's being and find the foreign invader instead of having to so indiscriminately excise everything.

Inuyasha's screams died down as she lost her voice, and soon her struggles diminished. Her hair changed before their eyes to black, and her claws and fangs disappeared along with any other trait to suggest she was part demon. After Miroku was one hundred and ten percent sure that whatever had held Inuyasha was gone, he removed the scroll and the other's took that as the signal that they could let go.

Miroku looked up, emotionally exhausted, to Sesshomaru and Kagome. Kagome's face shined with tears, and Sesshomaru, well Miroku was sure that Inuyasha's brother was not fine either. The demon lord looked so shaken.

Now that the hut was relatively silent, Shippou was heard and noticed. Sango stood up from her place at Inuyasha's left and turned to the kit, taking him up in her arms and walking him out of the hut. In all her experiences, that had been one of the hardest things Sango had had to do since... well since Kohaku. But Shippou was just a child. He shouldn't have had to watch. She consoled him gently, and perhaps herself as well. Killala sent a worried and saddened mewl the remaining trio's way before following Sango and Shippou out. The fox child needed her care as well.

Once they had all let go of her, Inuyasha had rolled to her side and curled in a ball. Miroku looked away from her shaking form. He couldn't bear it. He hoped he never, ever had to do anything remotely resembling this act in any way. He did not feel he could take anymore. But no, the ride wasn't over yet.

After his ears had gotten accustomed to the ringing silence, Miroku could hear Inuyasha was mumbling something. He stood up, purposefully blocking whatever heart-wrenching thing she was saying. "Can I leave the rest to you?" He asked the other two.

They both nodded, Kagome offering the words, "We got it."

Miroku left the hut gratefully, out into the golden rays of the setting sun. How could a day be so peaceful when there had just been so much anguish mere moments ago?

Now only Kagome and Sesshomaru remained, watching Inuyasha shake and mumble something they couldn't quite understand.

After a moment, Sesshomaru asked the silence, "Who does she want to 'take her?'"

Kagome shrugged and was about to answer that she had no idea, but Inuyasha answered them instead.

2 pairs of eyes flew wide.

"Did she just say...?" Kagome asked stunned. Sesshomaru didn't respond.

Kagome quickly fell to rage. Sesshomaru joined her, voicing his with a growl.

"That-" Snarled a demon lord.

"Rat-" Seethed a young priestess.

"BASTARD!"

They stood as one, marched in time to the door, and exited. They were as one mind, one body, and one mission. Though neither would know in later days just how they knew, they were certain of Naraku's direction, they were certain that he would fall by their combined hands, and they were certain that he was also preparing for them.

"Ready?" Sesshomaru asked the girl.

"Let's kill him." Kagome looked up at Sesshomaru.

He nodded, and bent his knees so Kagome could climb on, and as soon as the human was settled, they were gone.


	15. Enter Naraku

WARNING

Ha! I bet you missed me! Long story short, Life was hectic: Life still hectic. This chapter is hectic, for this part of the story is hectic. Heck-heckity-heck! More Author's Notes at the bottom! **PLZ READ THEM!**

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"Dammit." Naraku muttered to himself, removing his singed hands from the artifact he'd been using to possess Inuyasha from a distance. "Damn that monk. If only I'd killed his grandfather instead of cursing him."

No matter. He still had plan B. Naraku smirked. Plan B was almost more evil that the first. He was partially glad that he got to carry it out. He sent the orders for all beings at his disposal to surround the castle and fight to kill whosoever dared to approach. He was sure his prey would not buckle under their force, "Love" being an all-powerful emotion and whatnot. This done, he moved to the balcony to watch the afternoon sun begin its evening descent. As hordes of demons quickly started surrounding the grounds he dropped the barrier, as an added lure to the two he knew would be coming for him.

"I'm going to have fun using you." He smirked to the horizon. "And when you have done my dirty work for me, and lured her after you, I will defile what you hold so dear, and watch you break along with your precious Inuyasha!"

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"Sesshomaru, Kagome. Has anything changed?" Miroku asked, returning to the hut with Sango walking beside him. Shippou was running ahead with Killala, a handful of gifts for Inuyasha when she came to. Miroku had found it rather touching, Shippou insisting to collecting flowers, interesting rocks, acorns, feathers, anything to make Inuyasha smile when she woke up.

"Hey! Where'd they go?" Shippou was the first through the hut door.

"What do you mean Shippou?" Sango frowned, breaking away from Miroku's stride to look into the hut.

"_Oh dear Kami, please say it isn't so! Please no more upheavals! My heart cannot take it!" _Miroku made a silent prayer just before Shippou came out of the building, his gathered 'treasures' forgotten. Sango came out behind him.

"Miroku, they're gone!"

"Inuyasha?"

"Still out cold."

Miroku let out a sigh of mixed relief and frustration.

"Monk, you are tired. Stay here with Inuyasha and I'll take Shippou and Killala to find them." Sango put a hand on his shoulder. "You've taken on a bit more responsibility than one should, Miroku."

Miroku smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Sango. I trust you'll do what's best for all of them."

The demon slayer nodded and rounded up Shippou and Killala. Miroku retreated inside the building to sit by the slumbering human woman as the others left. He brushed Inuyasha's bangs from her closed eyes.

"I am truly sorry. You can never know how much." He muttered to her gently, almost wanting to cry. He marked it up to exhaustion and decided rest would be as good for him as it was for Inuyasha. Miroku leaned over, and sprawled himself out on the floor next to Inuyasha's mat. The thought briefly struck him that he might not find sleep, after the horrendous thing he'd done, but in mere moments he joined the half-demon in sweet, dreamless slumber.

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Sango sucked in a stunned breath.

"What is it?! Shippou asked, alarmed. He followed the other's gaze over Killala's shoulder at the land slowly being revealed from behind a looming mountain. He saw what had stunned Sango immediately, jumping back from leaning over Killala to the demon exterminator's lap, instantly yelping in shock and fear.

"I've never seen so many demons in one place!" Sango found her voice now that they'd found the source of the immense demonic aura... or more like demonic _aura__s!_

"Wh-what are they gathering like that for?" Shippou asked, pressing into Sango.

Sango shook her head. "I don't know, Shippou." She frowned in thought, Killala ceasing their advance on the hordes. "There's never been anything like this in the past age."

"Should we go back and tell Miroku?" Shippou looked up at her as the shock died down enough to not need to cower.

"No. If he knows what's good for him, he's resting with Inuyasha. We need to find Kagome and Sesshomaru."

"Maybe they sensed it too and came to check."

"I have a hunch you are right, Shippou. Though, I'm not sure if I like that hunch or wish it true." She stated, Killala moving through the air once again, lower to the ground so they might spot their companions from the air.

"You got a bad feeling too?" Shippou asked.

Sango shook her head, lying through her teeth at the kitsune. "I'm sure everything will be alright. We are just on edge from the recent events."

"I don't know. Something's got my fur on end." Shippou mumbled, leaning over Killala's shoulder slightly to better see the ground. "Has Killala picked up a scent yet?"

The cat responded with a roar that seemed to say, "No, I haven't, but I'm trying, so be patient!"

"Why'd they have to run off in the first place?!" Shippou asked in an annoyed tone. "Don't they realize Inuyasha needs us all right now?"

Sango smiled at the kitsune as she leaned over the opposite side of Killala. "Well, I think they have realized that. The past two weeks has been rather calm."

"Well, just cuz they did good for a couple days doesn't mean they can quit right now." Shippou grumbled.

"I'm sure they didn't leave without a reason. You're being harsh, Shippou. They aren't as bad as you're making them out to be."

"I know. I love Kagome and all, and even Sesshomaru is less creepy than I thought he was, but that doesn't mean I love what they've done."

Sango almost laughed. "Spoken like a true parent, Shippou. You sure have grown up."

Shippou sat up right again, looking over his shoulder to Sango. "Really?"

Sango straightened and nodded, about to reaffirm her statement by commenting how mature Shippou had been recently, but just then Killala roared, signaling that a trail had been found. She dove down through the air to race above the ground, gaining on the demon lord and the priestess.

"Kagome! Sesshomaru! Wait up!" Shippou yelled ahead of them once they'd been spotted.

Sango squinted her eyes. If that speck ahead of them was the two, then why did she get the feeling that they weren't stopping, or even listening? "Come on, Killala." She muttered an unneeded encouragement to the cat to go faster while Shippou continued trying to get the others' attention. Killala roared something that could only mean, "Way ahead of you there, sister." And they sped off at an even faster pace behind the two hell-bent on destruction.

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"Hmm... That was not what I wished." Naraku mused, removing his mind from his spies eyes. "I did not want the demon slayer to interfere in this." He thought. "Perhaps it could be to my pleasure, or at least removed." He stood up, calling a servant to his chambers to give new orders.

"Tell the horde the wait is close to end. Attack as the sun goes down."

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"..._miroku...?"_ a hoarse voice asked him hesitantly.

The monk groaned in his sleep. Once he realized the hesitant voice belonged to Inuyasha, he pulled himself out of it.

"Are you okay?"

"I should be asking that of you, Inuyasha."

"You look like hell."

"You sound like I look."

They were both still lying on their sides, though now Inuyasha faced him. He pushed himself up with his non-cursed hand, grunting as he put his feet underneath him and stood. "If I brought you something to eat, would you?"

Inuyasha mumbled, "Not hungry."

"Something to drink, perhaps?" Miroku asked.

Inuyasha attempted sitting up, and Miroku instantly knelt down to help her. She immediately shrugged his hands off her shoulders. In a more tired tone than a hostile one, she muttered, "I kinda wanna be alone right now."

Miroku blinked, unsure if he really should relent and leave Inuyasha alone. Or, maybe she wanted to be alone because she knew he'd been the one to cause her such pain. He forced the thought from his mind. It had to be done. "You sure?"

Inuyasha nodded. "I just want to think."

"I'll be nearby." Miroku stated, somewhat relieved that things hadn't taken a hostile tone, and stood to leave the hut. It hit him on the way out of the door, that a selfish side of him was glad to be gone. Inuyasha's voice was merely a whisper, and the mere sight of her was a reminder of the pain he'd dealt her. It didn't matter if it had been necessary. He still regretted the action. "I need to go meditate." Miroku thought aloud to himself once he was a few paces from the hut. Then he turned towards the trees to find a spot in the deepening evening to stop and empty his mind of all his tumultuous thoughts.

Once Inuyasha could no longer hear Miroku's feet as the monk walked, she raised a now clawless hand and stared at the digits. "You cheated me, monk. You all cheated me. You think you are doing what's best, but you have no idea how much I wanted to die... _still_ want to die. I've picked my time. It's now." She stated to herself firmly. The fear was gone with Naraku's possessing spirit. She was not afraid of death any longer. Inuyasha stood, momentarily unsure if she would be able to stand, but once she had made her resolution, her body seemed to do what she needed of it, as if she could manage her body with sheer willpower. She knew it would obey her on her final run, and she walked slowly out of the hut's door. She turned her face to the sun one could almost call a sunset, and dug her toes into the dirt. She took one last moment to take in the beauty, before she turned to the east, and began running, her shadow paving the way before her.

She felt in such control of herself, her mind being focused on this one mission. She could feel the demon part of herself return just as the thought of it crossed her mind, and her human feet turned to demon feet. The scenery immediately flew by her in a torrent of images; The forest where she'd practiced with Tetsaiga, The bridge where she and Kagome had spent a lovely moment, The tree where Miroku had stayed with her all night, The path Sesshomaru had carried her down, The clearing where she'd first fallen prey to Naraku. She felt so in control, and so numb, she didn't even question the thought when it came that maybe the world was flying past her, and not her through it.

"_I wonder if this is how Sesshomaru feels. It's like when I transform, except I choose the feeling and the feeling doesn't choose me._" She mused as the surroundings began to betray a large demonic presence in front of her. She felt Tetsaiga tremble at her hip, not recalling having placed it there, or even fixed the tie that held it. _"No matter."_ She thought, willing herself to become a full demon, and even though it should have shocked her, she easily turned, and now the images shooting past her were to quick to recognize. A forest, a mountain, a horde of demons ahead, all melted into one great blur.

"_You said you were to take me, and you will keep your promise. Just as I promise you to drag you along to hell after me."_

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"Kagome! Sesshomaru!" Sango joined Shippou in shouting after the two. "Listen! For Kami's sake SLOW DOWN!"

They had traveled so far since sighting the two that the horde had grown so great, as if to suggest that what they had seen before had only been a massive cloud of them. Just as a mountain appears to be close, yet stoically keeps its distance no matter how far you seem to travel or how large it's looming body grows, this horde continued to get bigger and bigger, yet stay farther and farther away. This massing of demons was truly something to make legends of.

"Sango, I think we need to get Miroku." Shippou stated, getting nervous. "We need him, I feel it."

Sango almost growled in frustration. Dammit, the monk was quickly wearing himself down to Inuyasha's state! What they needed to do was get Sesshomaru to stop this running and turn back! A group of demons this large was not something to run headlong at! "Oh, damn his speed!"

"I'll get him." Shippou offered, snapping Sango out of her cursing thoughts.

"Shippou, he needs-"

The fox kit squared his shoulders, and put his hands on his hips to lay down the law. "Sango, when a demon feels something this strong, you listen to it."

"I know I've said you've grown but-"

"Trust me, Sango. You get them, and I'll get Miroku, just in case."

"And who will stay with-"

"I get the feeling she's going to beat all of us there."

"Shippou, she's unconscious."

"I know that, and I know it sounds silly, but... just trust me, kay?"

Sango was going to insist, but something stopped her. Maybe it was how much older Shippou appeared at the moment. Maybe it was that she was now so suddenly aware of the growth spurt the boy had gone under and not been noticed during this past hectic month. Maybe it was the sureness of his voice. She didn't know.

"Alright, Shippou. We're counting on you." She relented with a sigh. She was struck by the sudden thought that this must be how a mother feels letting her chicks out of the nest to fly. "Be careful."

Shippou nodded, transforming into a large bird, clearly not the type he was going for, but definitely large enough to carry a certain fatigued monk. Sango turned her head, watching him as he quickly disappeared behind her for as long as she could fool herself into thinking that she could see the little fox. Then she turned around, leaning forward against Killala, willing the cat silently to manage to coax a little more speed from her feet.

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"_How does Inuyasha do it?!"_ Shippou whined to himself, beating his arms-turned-wings as hard as he could and still not seeming to make headway against how far Killala had taken them. Everything was still so far away! How could a little guy like him be expected to get so far?

"_It's so hard! I- I ca-"_

"_No. Have to."_ Himself growled back in answer. "_Family. My family needs me."_

"_But I can't make it so far! I'm just a kid, ya know!" _A part of him whined back, the part that hid under the covers from the dark, the part that screamed and cried and was afraid.

"_Doesn't matter. Family needs me." _That other, stronger and more simple part of him insisted, as unyielding as before.

"_But..."_ Shippou stopped. Arguing himself wasn't helping!

"_Love."_

"_What?!"_

"_I love my family."_

"_Well, duh, but-"_

"_Love will help me."_

It could not be that simple, could it? A part of Shippou didn't think so. Love can only do so much, right? At the end of the day, it all comes down to what you were able to do, no matter how much you loved someone.

"_No. Love. Love will help me fly. Family needs me. I love family. I will make it. Love will help me fly." _

"Love will help me fly." Shippou spoke the words aloud, hesitantly. "Yeah." He started to agree with this brave new side of himself he hadn't really paid attention to before. "Love will help me!"

That's how Inuyasha did it! That's how all of them did it! They forgot that they were tired, or weak, and they just did it! They did what they had to do for the ones they loved!

With a strength that literally came straight from nowhere, Shippou saw the miles begin to fade away, the landmarks they passed soon shrank behind him, and a little fox demon child realized just how fast he could move for the family he loved so much.

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"MIROKU!"

The monk's head snapped up off his chest. Eyes wide in confusion and from being wrested from sleep so brutally, he laid eyes on Shippou. Had he fallen asleep while meditating?

"Miroku! There's a mass of demons, a whole lot of them. Kagome and Sesshomaru went running into it. Sango and Killala are chasing after them. Get on my back, they need us!" Shippou explained as quickly as he could.

"Inu-"

"She's gone! I looked for you there first."

Miroku jumped to his feet. "What?!"

"She. Isn't. There! I bet she's gone after the demons too. Can't you feel it? We have to go."

He did feel it, the overwhelming urge to move east, towards the hint of demonic aura he could feel now that he knew to be looking for one. It was so ominous, why hadn't he noticed it before? Miroku nodded to Shippou, climbing onto the fox and trying to not grip him too tightly as the kit took off clumsily.

No, he knew why he didn't notice. He hadn't wanted to notice it. Partly ashamed that he'd wanted to so selfishly dive into sleep, Miroku looked up to distract himself with trying to see the demons ahead that Shippou had spoken of, to notice how truly fast the young boy was going.

"By the gods! Shippou! When did you-?"

"Fast, huh?"

"Truly." Miroku was stunned. In mere moments, the mountain in the distance was now the mountain in front of them. The sunset behind them cast a long shadow behind the mass of rock and dirt, and Miroku followed it with his eyes. There was no way a shadow could be that long, unless...

"I've never seen so many demons in one place!"

"Sango said the same, but there's more. The cloud grows the closer you get."

"This does not bode well."

"You feel it too?"

Miroku paused. "No. No, I am sure it will turn out-"

"Don't lie to me, Miroku! This entire situation is making my fur stand on end, and I didn't go this far, this fast just so you and Sango could lie to me!"

"Shippou, I am not about to say that I don't think we will be able to overcome this."

"Do you feel that way?"

Miroku paused this time to honestly think. What was he feeling? It was difficult to separate any intuitions from the overwhelming urge to get to the others and the sickening presence of so many dark auras. Or, was it a one aura in particular underneath the horde that was so troubling?

"I... I feel this reeks of Naraku."

There was silence between the two of them for a few moments, each pondering the sentiment the monk had just passed from his lips.

"Me too." Shippou finally said at last. "And I feel better after having said it."

Miroku agreed, heart and soul, and was about to say so, when a great shift in the mass ahead wormed it's way through the demonic host. The cloud trembled, and then swarmed out at its edges towards one point.

"They're attacking." Miroku stated, fearing just how they were to defeat so many demons.

Shippou dove down to fly low and level to the ground, much as Killala had before. "The other's are there. They need us."

"Don't have to tell me twice." Miroku nodded, as each prepared themselves for the battle that would be upon them in minutes.

"Shippou! Miroku!" Sango called out to them from the ground as they neared, trying to reach them with her voice if they hadn't spotted her already. She could not shout for long. A roar from Killala brought her back to the battle at hand and she threw her Hiraikotsu at the airborne demons attempting to force her and Killala from the sky. There wasn't even a need to aim. It was futile, there was too many of them, all packed together in one space. Sango was surprised when her weapon actually came back to her through the cloud, and she almost didn't catch it. She swung again, but did not release, for fear that the next time she would be forded to give up her unique weapon. But just as one side of them was clear, the demons on the other side lunged for her back. Killala snarled, biting into the swarm, and Sango realized the need for solid ground, where the whole group could fight back to back. She murmured her sentiments to Killala, and they began to fight their way to land. They somehow managed to find Miroku and Shippou in the chaos; Shippou on the monk's shoulder and casting illusions at the demons from behind, Miroku casting spells and vicious attacks with his monk's staff to the front.

"Miroku, don't use the wind tunnel, Naraku's wasps-"

"I know, they're all over the place." Miroku grunted, knocking a group of enemies back with a slew of purifying paper scrolls. "Where are Kagome and Sesshomaru?"

"Just a bit ahead." Sango answered, unsheathing her katana and slicing through an attack from above in one smooth motion. "Shall we try to get to them?"

Miroku slid towards her, pushed back by a blow from the enemy and just managing to block it with his staff. Shippou jumped into the fray, a jet of foxfire shooting ahead of him to stun the fiend while Miroku regrouped and sent it screaming into the dirt.

"Yes," Miroku answered finally, "I'm sure they are having as much trouble as-"

The next words were cut off by a pulse of demonic energy strong enough to knock the group off their feet. A hissing wail from the hordes of demons all around them as their bodies seemed to melt before their eyes into ropes of flesh. In an undulating mass, they turned to horribly familiar tentacles encased in hardened flesh, and quick as lightning were on them from all sides. Anything they cut grew back, not that it mattered. Even if it hadn't, the sheer number of targets flying at them was too much to battle. Each struggled as they were enclosed in the iron grip of Naraku's limbs and ripped apart from each other.

It was over as quickly as it had begun, Sango's hunch that it would end in terrible defeat having been the correct assumption, for out of the swirling mass of vine-like limbs, stepped Naraku.

A chilling laugh attempted to strike each to the core, but only served to further enrage Inuyasha's avengers.

"I'm Gonna Kill You!" Kagome shrieked at him, her body being moved among the tangle of Naraku's body to line up with Miroku, Sango and Shippou, Sesshomaru sent along behind her.

"Really now? When you made everything so much _easier_?" Naraku asked amused.

Kagome continued shrieking her loathing and hatred of him, Sesshomaru conveying his in the most heated and barely contained rage anyone had ever seen upon his face.

"And you," Naraku turned to the demon lord of the west, sending more writhing feelers to subdue the threatening power Sesshomaru was willing forward, and to firmly pull the human arm away from his body. "Bringing the last and final shard to me. How _Considerate!_" He hissed easily snapping off the limb with a sickening crack, and yet failing to coax more than a grimace from the other's face.

"Only one as weak as _you_ would have need for such!" Sesshomaru did not yell, nor even speak loudly, but his voice commanded the power of a hundred yells, so great was his fury.

Naraku openly laughed at him. "And yet," He pulled the bleeding limb to his genuine arms, easily finding and plucking the shard from the flesh, "I have won." He turned to smirk at all of them, enraged that he was not met with faces of shock or horror, but ones of determined wrath as he brought shard and Jewel together.

Another great demonic pulse ripped through the area, though from the shock on Naraku's face, it had not been from him. A path through Naraku's great, knotted limbs appeared in a blinding flash of yellow light, the flesh bubbling and hissing where it had been burned from the power that had cut it. The channel revealed a female Inuyasha with eyes of red and striped cheeks holding the Tetsaiga parallel to the ground at shoulder's height, her hand hissing as it was seared by the blade's barrier. Yet with no hint of pain on her features or in her voice, she called out loudly.

"Not quite."

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I was going to continue this all the way up to after Naraku had been defeated, but the dang chapter is over 4000 words, and I need some feedback from you folks.

First, should I change any spellings? Is the Killala with l's or the Kikyou and Shippou with u's bothering anyone?

Second, if Kagome and Sesshomaru have both had shots at Inuyasha, should Naraku get a chance to put his grimy little paws on her, or has Inuyasha suffered enough? I ask because I could put that thought nugget in and stretch the next chapter out long, or not put it in and you'd all get a short chapter to set up the last half of the fic.

Thirdly, Do you trust that the yaoi is so close you can taste it? It is for me. Two more chapters and you get Fluff, and the fic pulls out of it's negative, downward spiral and returns to a more, lighthearted joking thing. That might be considered a spoiler for you, but it's the journey, not the destination that is fun. I could tell you how the story end's right now, you'd still read it to find out how we get there.

Anyhow, I didn't die. Sorry for the longass wait. I know how it is to read something awesome and get rewarded by it cutting off at the end. But trust me, this is going to get finished. I am determined. Plus, once we get to the Yaoi, this thing will roll out easier than a flying toilet paper roll. So enough Jabbering. **REVIEW and feed my raging muse!**


	16. Welcome to Hell

Okay, here's the rest of that chapter. Sorry for the cliffhanger. At least I'm not leaving you for a month!

BTW, you all owe Princess Sin for the feedback last chapter that allowed me to continue writing with this so quickly. Saved you all a couple hours of waiting time. Also, so you can know and put this together. THIS DANGED STORY IS NOT ENDING FOR MULTIPLE CHAPTERS, LEMON FESTS, AND UPCOMING ANGST. Remember way back when I said I was cosmically destroying Rin and Jaken, then decided to not, because I needed them? Well, if they aren't in the story yet, then no. It's not over. I say this so I won't get flames for a horrid story ending when you all have finished this chapter.

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"Ah, Inuyasha." Naraku regarded the transformed half demon with a smirk. "Perfect timing."

Inuyasha's eyes narrowed, that sword still lifted effortlessly in the air and still burning and eating away at her hand. The group was stunned. How could she lift it? How could she transform with it? How could she even be demon right now after being purified, not to mention the fact that it was now the night of her transformation?

"You see, now that I have the entire Shikon Jewel," Oh, like Hell Naraku wasn't going to rub in that little fact! "I have enough power to grant all the wishes in the world. And you Inuyasha, you get to choose between Two wishes."

Naraku paused to survey his words impact. Kagome's rage had been cracked just barely. A hint of curiosity and fear had penetrated her eyes. Sesshomaru, being the cold stoic lord that he is, either felt nothing but hatred, or was hiding it rather well. Nonetheless, it was beyond easy to see that he was at least getting more upset, which was enough for Naraku. The rest had finally adopted a stunned expression with deliciously horrified eyes. Naraku ignored the fact that it very well could have been Inuyasha to cause them to look this way. Speaking of Inuyasha, she'd had enough time to ponder. He looked back to her, expecting to see something along the lines of the monk, demon slayer, and fox kit, but her expression had not changed. No matter, her eyes would fly wide when he proposed his offer.

"First, you keep your Tetsaiga, and I take my jewel and leave these lands never to return, the price being this brother of yours that you hold so dear."

One of the humans, either the cursed monk or damned slayer, made a gasping noise of surprise. Kagome's eyes filled with even more fear, but deep down, and this made Naraku's evil little heart soar! Deep down, Kagome hoped that that was exactly what Inuyasha would choose. Selfish humans. He loved it!

"Second, you give the sword to me, I take my jewel and leave these lands never to return, and I take your darling Kagome."

Once again, the three, no four. Naraku was forgetting the fox again. The four not involved in a love triangle struggled and attempted to speak, but Naraku merely crushed them all, squeezing their bodies until they could merely fight for breath. No one was going to interrupt this parting, for a parting it would be.

Naraku looked back to Inuyasha, smirking as he saw a change in her features. Not quite the fear or horror he was looking for, but at least she was about to speak.

"Third option."

"There is no third option. Unless of course, you would rather be mine." Naraku leered at her. Now it was Kagome to try to fight him, and she too was crushed.

"Yes, Naraku. I choose you." Inuyasha's voice was hoarse, yet strong, as she lowered her blade to her side, stepping through the wreckage of flesh she had created. But her tone and expression were so calm, so numb. Where was the fear?

The rest of Inuyasha's group stared at her wide-eyed, including Sesshomaru and Kagome, twisting around in their restraining holds to watch her as she steadily walked forward until she was as close to Naraku as they were.

"Then my requirements are that they all die." Naraku laughed, deep and evil. This was too good to be true. After so many months, this entire little group that had been such a thorn in his side was going to be obliterated. And all at the word of their bastard leader, Inuyasha, no less! "You can have no loves but me."

"I hate them." Inuyasha countered, still calm and unfeeling as ever. "I hate all of them. But you, Naraku, You I _Love._" Inuyasha sneered the last word as if it was really something horrible. "You I _LOVE_ So much!"

In an instant her expression changed to show how truly livid and barely controlled she really was at the moment. And in the same instant, Naraku had just a split second to dodge her slew of attacks. Her speed was so blinding, she was faster even than him! Not even all the rest of his tentacled body could daunt her, no matter how they grew back.

"Ever since you corrupted that word, turned my love into hate the moment you even set eyes on Kikyou, Ever Since Then I Have _Loved_ you!" Inuyasha shrieked, pushing the stunned embodiment of evil backwards away from her group.

"And if you think for even a second that Love is a good thing, No longer! You have twisted and warped and now Love is just an empty word and I will use it to Murder You!

For one of the few and only times in Naraku's existence, all the way back from when he'd been created from Onigumo's and many demons' bodies, He actually was afraid. He steeled himself against her, attempting to turn the tide. No one made him afraid. And if that meant he'd have to make her a 'no one', then so be it!

"Inuyash- sha!" Shippou choked out, barely able to breathe, "Watch out!"

It was useless. Though Inuyasha did indeed hear him, she walked right into the growing cloud of miasma nonetheless, sending a wind scar straight into it to knock Naraku back further, managing to keep her group just out of the miasma's range.

"Afraid, Naraku?! You are not the only one who knows the power of words now! And it's all thanks to you!" She shrieked once inside the clouded mists and beyond her friends' sight.

Still being crushed in Naraku's limbs, the group could only watch as they gasped and choke, listening to the sounds of Tetsaiga cutting through flesh again and again.

"And what of your friends, Inuyasha?" Naraku fought against panic. "I could kill them right now."

"I care not. I hate them, remember?" Inuyasha brought her sword in a glinting flash of silver down on Naraku's shoulder, the first time she actually drew his blood. He reeled back, hand grasping where his arm had once been in shock. Then he growled, arm regenerating as he did so, and sent more attacks after her, each blocked with a speed so maddening it made him sick to even think how he was going to kill her, other than keep the enraging half-demon in his poison cloud just a bit longer. It would not be as satisfying as tearing her limb from limb, but he supposed he could take it out on her precious friends afterwards: Perhaps the child, for managing to warn her in the battle.

Naraku blocked another Wind scar attack to his main body. "You can't defeat me Inuyasha! I have bodies and bodies to spare within me!"

He was suddenly hit from behind and knocked to the ground, where he rolled to face his attacker, but instead pinned on his back in a blinding flash of pain. Tetsaiga was imbedded almost to the hilt into the ground, his abdomen being the meaty filling in this gory sandwich between dirt and sword.

Inuyasha now being weaponless, he sent more tentacles flying in her direction, only to find out she was as destructive without her sword as with it. In a blur of red and white, all of his transformed body in the vicinity was lying in oozing pools, strengthening the miasma.

"You're going to die, Inuyasha." Naraku spat, feeling pangs of fear and pain in his gut.

"You are coming with me." Inuyasha grasped the grip of the sword. In a flash of panic, Naraku felt sure she was going to twist the blade embedded in him, cackling like a raving lunatic as he writhed in torturous agony. He could already see it in his mind's eye. But she merely knelt down, apparently using the sword to help guide her down. He smirked, hoping that it was the poison. It had to be the poison. She was going to fall down right there. She had to! But the farthest she fell was to her knees, lowering her hand from the sword to his chest. Her fingers almost had a sensuous feel against him, but the crazed look in her eyes stole any semblance of arousal from her actions. If this was Inuyasha's fucked up idea of what lovemaking was, Naraku didn't want any part of it.

Her hand snaked forward to his chin, gripping his face so tight it hurt, making him sure his jaw was about to break. She leaned forward, breasts brushing over his stomach, her head above his chest, eyes glinting with madness. Naraku instantly regretted every evil act he had ever committed, at least against her. He felt horrible and slimy that he'd ever been inside... that! Why did he have to possess her?! What crazed up idea had crossed his mind to do so?!

As Naraku questioned himself on every action from the last month, too panicked to realize he could have struck her ages ago and sent her back away from him, Inuyasha whispered to Naraku as if to a lover. "Welcome to Hell."

With those words Naraku felt as if his chest was being wrenched open. No wait, Inuyasha really was prying his ribs apart. Naraku's dying eyes were witness to rib after bloody rib torn from him, shredded lungs, Onigumo's wretched heart all the way in his back being hauled out of his chest and turned to dripping, bleeding confetti in Inuyasha's hands.

But even as she did so, Inuyasha was succumbing to the miasma. Though her friend's were released as Naraku breathed his last, and a good chunk of the miasma had dissipated along with Naraku's demise, she was still breathing it in. Soaked in blood, her eye's powered down from red, to gold, to brown, like some twisted machine. Her hair faded to black. Her claws shrank back to human nails. And with a final shudder through her body, the movement allowing Sesshomaru to see her position in the purple fog, she fell forward, her morbid task to kill and die completed.

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REMINDER! Don't flame me, it's not over, I promised you Yaoi, and if you'd go back to the first chapter and see the Warning that tells what yaoi I have/have planned, then you'll know that I did not just kill Inuyasha. Thank you, and good night.


	17. More Normalcy Than Wanted

Wow

Wow... lotsa action last chapter! Let's see if we can't cool down a bit, shall we?

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-Last Chapter Overlap-

Naraku's limbs fell down around them with a sickening lifeless plop into the mud. The group fell to earth with them, each gasping in the putrid air, as they were only just now able to breathe. Kagome, looked up, hacking and holding her bruised ribs tenderly. She couldn't see through the misty haze of poison in the air. She stumbled to her knees, and then to her feet, trying to discern Inuyasha from the miasma. Something fluttered she thought, and she stepped towards it. A white blur whizzed past her and into the miasma. It took Kagome a few oxygen-deprived moments to realize it had been Sesshomaru. She followed him in, stepping less and less slowly as her brain recovered. The purple mist lifted as she came closer, and Sesshomaru met her coming out with an Inuyasha limp in his arms. In a mental question, Kagome looked up at him wearily. Sesshomaru nodded in return, and started running with his sister to the old priestess this group held in such high esteem. Kagome continued forward to Naraku's decimated corpse, following the glinting light of the Shikon jewel. She bent over, and with shaking hands, retrieved the nearly complete jewel and the lone shard that Naraku had failed to join together in time.

Sango started her question weakly, still winded from nearly being crushed. "Kagome-?"

Kagome interrupted her. "I got it. Sesshomaru is going ahead of us to Keade's."

"How do you know that?" Sango smiled, walking closer to her friend who looked so emotionally winded. Kagome surprised her by smiling back, to genuine to have been faked.

"I have no idea." Kagome helped close the gap and the two met, clasped arms, and turned around to leave the limb-strewn battle ground. Shippou leapt up onto their touching shoulders, and Killala padded along side Sango.

Miroku pushed himself up straight off his knees and stared dumbstruck at the scene. Naraku was dead. Kagome was smiling. Naraku was dead and lying all around them. Shippou was growing like a weed. Naraku was dead as a doornail and his shredded remains were scattered everywhere. Sango looked absolutely ravishing with her cheeks tinged red after their struggles. Did he notice already that Naraku was dead?

"Miroku, we'll figure out everything later." Sango stated to him, now on his left side. Wait... when did she get all the way to him?

"Yeah, let's get to Keade's. Everything will wind down there." Kagome was now on his right. They each had a hand on his arms. What was going on? He felt them pull him along like a confused drunk, which he supposed he probably resembled. Drunk. Miroku truly wished right now to be drunk; to drink and drink and then pass out, and not wake up for days.

The girls placed the dazed monk between them on Killala's back, and in moments they were trailing behind Sesshomaru on the way back to Keade's house, and to sort out all their problems, disbeliefs, and injuries there.

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Inuyasha groaned. She hurt all over and her body felt heavy and dead. She knew she was coming out of a deep sleep, maybe even being unconscious, but she didn't want to and she fought to go under again. She failed. Slowly Inuyasha grew aware of what was around her. She knew she was in Keade's hut. She knew that Kagome and Sesshomaru were just outside. Miroku and Keade had only just been in here.

_Wait._

_Why am I here?_

Inuyasha blinked her eyes open, remembering why she was now on a mat in the old hag's hut.

_No! I'm supposed to be dead!_

Inuyasha glared at the ceiling, fists at her sides clenching and unclenching. She was supposed to be dead. She wasn't supposed to suffer anymore. She wasn't supposed to be alive! She slammed her fists into the floor in a huff.

_How am I supposed to live like this? One thing after another until I break and even then I don't get to be relieved!_

She rolled over to her side and, with a great deal of effort, managed to push herself up into a sitting position. She heard Sesshomaru and Kagome shift so they could peak inside and she growled, hating them that they could dare to keep her from her death that she wanted.

"There. Back to the growling bastard you so enjoy being." Sesshomaru's seemed to purr. Dammit! Was that bastard happy?! Well fuck that shi-

Back to the growling bastard...?

Bastard... that meant...

Inuyasha frowned, Kagome now trying to get her to lay back down, blathering about how there was too much poison in her system, that she needed rest. Inuyasha shoved her hands aside weakly. In the same motion Inuyasha grabbed her now very flat chest. Suddenly frantic with the discovery, Inuaysha grabbed her face, felt her throat, and once again was met with happily unfamiliar features like a slight lump in ?his? neck and a sharper jawline. Scrambling with barely restrained excitement now, Inuyasha stood, Kagome quickly coming to ?his? aide and holding ?him? up.

_I have never been so happy to look down on this wench's head._

Inuyasha let out a breath of air he didn't even realize he'd been holding. It came out as a sort of half-laugh.

Kagome laughed with him. "Kind of different after the last month, isn't it?"

Inuyasha agreed, but changed the subject, a different question suddenly flashing in his mind. "How long have I been out?"

"A couple days. You almost died, Inuyasha. Please lay back down?"

Inuyasha looked from the top of Kagome's head down to her pleading eyes. He blamed his compliance with her request to a sudden weakness in his knees, grumbling it to her as she smiled and sat down with him on the floor.

Sesshomaru resisted the unreasonable urge to comment snidely that it was a general weakness that had Inuyasha on the ground. Weakness and patheticness and halfbreedness. Stupid ass, male, infuriating, son of a bitch. The demon lord turned around sharply without an explanation and stormed out of the cramped and rank human lodging. It was almost amazing how their stench could permeate EVERYTHING!

Nursing a foul mood, Sesshomaru continued his march away from the human hovels and roads and off into the purer smelling forest, pointedly ignoring that anything else existed around him until he was truly alone.

Here it was again; that completely unreasonable anger that filled him whenever he caught site of the half-breed brat. No, that MALE half-breed brat.

"_Inuyasha is Inuyasha. Even as a bastard, she's still that sweet little sister that you've idealized for a good two centuries." _Sesshomaru tried to tell himself, attempting to banish thoughts like "_Who gives a shit! The bastard's a bastard and the infuriating wretch deserves to know his place or die!" _

What in the world was it about a male Inuyasha that set him off so much? Was it truly directed at Inuyasha his brother, even though killing him would be the end of Inuyasha his sister? Was it misplaced aggression towards his father, who he never got to confront about his cruel tweaking of both his own and Inuyasha's fate? Was it that he, Sesshomaru, was merely unbalanced and this was a sign of his growing madness?

Sesshomaru growled, giving up on calming down for the moment and unleashed his frustration and rage on whatever was closest and could be reduced to shattered remnants.

He was back to square one.

Inuyasha could still get him riled up without even trying.

That human bitch had what was supposed to be his sister and mate AGAIN!

And worst of all, Sesshomaru had no idea how to fix it anymore.

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Sango poked her head into Keade's hut, and from the way Inuyasha and Kagome jumped, it seemed she'd interrupted a rather serious conversation.

"Oh, Sango!" Kagome laughed nervously, instantly making Sango curious as to what her friends had been talking about. "You startled me."

"I was looking for Miroku. I thought he was in here." Sango eyed both of them. Inuyasha seemed curious. Kagome was floundering. Kagome must have been about to tell him something.

"He was. He left a while ago." Kagome was speaking rather fast. "You know what," She turned to Inuyasha. "It really isn't that important. Just a dumb girl thing, you know?" Kagome stood up and walked over to Sango. "I'll help you find him, Sango. I kinda need to stretch my legs."

Sango and Inuyasha were both giving her funny looks. There was a brief awkward silence as Kagome waited for Sango to stop blocking the door and for them both to stop staring. Inuyasha broke it with a grumble.

"Fine. I'll just take a nap. It's so boring here anyway."

Kagome let out a nervous giggle as Sango sidestepped. "You do that." Kagome quickly darted out of the door, not waiting for Sango at all.

"Hey, Kagome!" Sango jogged after her, trying to get Kagome to stop and explain just what was going on.

"You look on that side of town. I'll go check this side." Kagome turned her head while walking to say to her. "We'll find him faster that way!" Before Sango could plague her with questions, Kagome was gone.

"...What in the world was that about?" Sango muttered. She was about to go back to the hut to ask Inuyasha, but she'd recognized that particular brand of grumbling from Inuyasha. It was the tone he usually took on when making up some excuse to do something he viewed weak. She'd heard it so many times in a female voice that she was surprised she recognized it now. At any rate, Inuyasha was tired, and wanted to be left alone. Sango sighed. She'd find out later. Right now, she wanted to go back to acting on her whim to find and talk with Miroku.

On a hunch she walked to the edge of town, near a quiet and lightly wooded area that the monk liked to meditate in, and sure enough, that's where she found her man.

"Hello, miss Sango." Miroku peeked open one eye playfully before opening both and smiling broadly at her.

Sango smiled happily back, coming forward to sit next to Miroku. They enjoyed a moment of happy silence before Sango became serious. "How is your hand?"

Miroku held it up and flexed his fingers. "Still perfectly fine. Still voidless. Still the same as my other hand."

"That's good." Sango replied, suddenly floundering the same as Kagome had been. That reminded her...

"Have you spoken with Kagome lately?"

"Just an hour or so ago. She was talking with Sesshomaru in front of Keade's hut. Why?"

"I just saw her talking with Inuyasha. She was hiding something."

"Inuyasha's awake?"

"Oh yes, sorry. I forgot that was news." Sango paused. Sheesh! She'd really missed that. "I guess Kagome had been acting so strange that I didn't realize that Inuyasha was conscious."

"It's been a strange couple of days." Miroku nodded. "How was our gender-confused friend doing?"

"He was sitting up, lucid, but extremely tired. I think he went back to sleep."

Miroku nodded again. "A wise thing to do. But now I'm curious. What was Kagome doing that was so odd?"

"Well she was about to tell Inuyasha something, but as soon as she saw me, she jumped at the excuse to not have to tell him whatever it was. And once she was out of the hut, she was quick to get away from me as well."

"Since when is Kagome unable to say what is on her mind?"

"My thoughts exactly, monk."

The two sat silently, both pondering the situation, when a terrible crash echoed through the trees.

"Do we want to find out what that is?" Sango asked Miroku.

"After you, my dear."

Sango rolled her eyes at him, laughing despite herself and started to lead the way.

Miroku followed behind her, suddenly reminded that there was something he had neglected to do for many weeks now. But no... he shouldn't. The result would be less than pleasant. He should know that by now. But the reward... it was so great!

_Besides. Now I can do it with two hands._

With that final thought, the scales were tipped, and Miroku smirked as his hands sneaked forward.

Sango stopped moving forward. It almost seemed like she turned in slow motion. Miroku gulped nervously. This was it. He gave her rear one last parting squeeze before his cheek turned to blistering heat and his head was forcibly turned to the side.

"I _thought_ you'd grown out of that!"

Miroku smiled apologetically and chuckled. "Apparently not."

"Get up there." Sango growled, motioning for Miroku to take the lead.

"Ladies first?" Miroku attempted.

"You lost that privilege. Go."

Miroku sighed and stepped ahead, his cheek stinging in pain, but his hands still remembering the glorious round firmness that had been in them just seconds before. Allowing himself a dopey grin, he took the lead, knowing that Sango had to be vowing his death behind him.

As they advanced it soon became clear that the noise had been the sound of destruction, and the being causing it was Sesshomaru. Miroku and Sango, while not hiding at all, were completely ignored by the enraged demon lord. In fact, it seemed to them, that he hadn't even noticed them come up on him.

"Stupid blasted wretch! You don't even care about being what you're supposed to, do you?! You are just happy with being a foul-mouthed, ignorant, half-breed, having foul-mouthed, ignorant, quarter-breed bastards with that horrid, meddling bitch! It's not fair!" Sesshomaru could not believe he was allowing himself to be so childish, but shouting and smashing was truly liberating at the moment.

"It's not Fair! It's not Right! And I can't Fix It!" Sesshomaru paused a moment after having annihilated his plant abuse-victim, when he heard a sound that made him freeze. Someone had just "ahem'ed" behind him. Actually... now that he stopped to realize it, the monk and the demon slayer were behind him, he could smell their particular brand of human reek. He straightened up immediately.

He took a silent breath to center himself, (in with the calm, out with the momentary emotional insanity) and turned to face them with a blank face and a steady glare. "Did you want something?"

He was greatly relieved to be met with two pairs of startled eyes, and then two shaking heads.

"Very well then." He stated, thinking while he did so. He came to a quick decision. "I am returning to my lands. There are many things I must attend to. I cannot baby-sit you nor Inuyasha. He is awake. Naraku is dead. If you cannot function now without me, then you deserve your deaths." He didn't say goodbye. Lords didn't say goodbye. They merely left. And so did he.

Miroku and Sango stared in stunned silence at the space where Sesshomaru had disappeared from, absolutely amazed that he could contain himself so quickly and completely, and then coldly lecture at them before making a hasty getaway.

"I believe there are still some issues Inuyasha, Kagome, and Sesshomaru have to work out." Miroku blinked.

"Somehow I get the feeling that this will never be resolved." Sango shook her head.

"I thought that at least Inuyasha and Sesshomaru could meet face to face from now on without conflict."

"This brand-new clearing kind of suggests something else." Sango gestured to the fallen, pummeled trees and their shredded leaves.

Miroku frowned. "Pity."

Not having anything else to do in that place other than reflect on what had just happened, Miroku and Sango opted instead to go in search of Kagome or Shippou. Whoever they found first really. Shippou would need to be told of Inuyasha's awakening and to not pester him so he could rest. And of course Kagome needed to be pressed into telling them what had been plaguing her when Sango had interrupted her. It might be some slight clue as to what exactly set Sesshomaru off like that, though Miroku at least figured that the demon lord had been angered by the mere fact that Inuyasha was once again male.

As the two left the forest and came upon the town, they found Kagome and Shippou at the same time. And how thoughtful of Kagome that she should be filling the kit in! It meant less for Miroku and Sango to do before they could interrogate her.

"Inuyasha's awake?!" Shippou repeated excitedly. It was so loud, Miroku and Sango could hear him perfectly, and since Shippou and Kagome were rather close to Keade's hut at the moment, they hoped Inuyasha was sleeping soundly enough that he didn't wake up.

Kagome nodded, "Yes, but we need to leave him alone. He's still recovering."

"But you got to talk to him! Can I talk to him if he's awake?"

Miroku and Sango sighed and hurried up their walking to help Kagome deter the excited child.

"Yes, but when he-"

"Can I go check now?"

"Shippou, he's not-"

"Oh for shit's sake, let the brat in!" Inuyasha grumbled from the hut. Shippou scampered to the hut and just as he made it to the door, Inuyasha appeared. The little fox jumped up to his shoulder and started to swiftly talk Inuyasha's ear off. Even if he wasn't so exhausted, Inuyasha still didn't think he'd be able to catch everything that came flying out of Shippou's mouth. Apparently he was being given a very detailed rundown of everything that the brat had done since they'd last seen each other. Inuyasha suppressed a sigh, and stopped trying to figure it out.

"Really? ... You don't say! ... Interesting. ... I don't believe it." He stated randomly muttering, half seriously trying to seem like he was listening, the other half mocking the fox. It didn't take Shippou long to figure out his listening ear was being teasingly sarcastic.

"Hey! Are you making fun of me?"

"Yes. Get off my shoulder." Inuyasha would have rolled his eyes if he weren't immediately struck by the urge to yawn after that sentence. Eyes starting to water as he kept his jaw tightly clenched, he watched Shippou huff and go back to Kagome.

Inuyasha blinked a couple times, almost certain he'd just pulled a muscle in his neck after that battle of will, and looked around. "Where the heck did Sesshomaru run off to?"

Now that he thought about it, he didn't smell Sesshomaru anywhere near the area. Sure, he could tell his brother had been here not too long ago, but the source of it was definitely gone.

Miroku and Sango exchanged glances. Inuyasha noticed instantly. "What?"

"He said he was going back to the western lands and that he had a lot of neglected duties to catch up on." Miroku paraphrased a nicer version of what Sesshomaru had really said.

That cold ass bastard. Didn't even bother to say goodbye huh? What? Did Sesshomaru only care about him when he had tits hanging off his chest? Inuyasha growled under his breath. "That jerk. You know what? Screw him." Inuyasha was forced to immediately fight another yawn, cursing in his mind the entire time that he couldn't keep ranting while yawning into his closed mouth. He turned back into the hut so the rest of the group wouldn't see his eyes cross with the effort.

"Inuyasha, he's just going back to deal with his other responsibilities. He's been hanging around with us for an entire month!"

_Damn Kagome and her need to be constructive._

"Guess what! I don't ca-" That yawn he'd been denying suddenly hit him, cutting off his retort, cracking his damned jaw in half, and he just didn't care anymore. He was _dead_ tired, emphasis on dead.

After his body was done betraying him with yawns, Inuyasha groaned. "Fine, how about this. Later we'll go and plague _him_ for a while. But right now I'm going to sleep. Leave me alone."

Either he was too tired to hear anymore or the rest of them really did shut up and leave him alone, but whatever it was, he got back to the area of the hut he'd been sleeping in for however long in peace. Soon he was sleeping like the dead man he'd felt like moments previous.

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Omg, this chapter decided to kick my ass. It's the halfway chapter. This is the transistion from the first half of the fic (inu as a girl, dealing with that stuff, and the death of narakru) to the last half of the fic (like hell I'm telling you what's coming up next. You should know by now)

Maybe I'll actually get to 100 reviews by the end of this story. That would be so very awesome. You have no Idea. This already is the most commented story of anything I've written and other than the first 2 crappily written chapters, I'm very proud of it. So enjoy this rather long chapter and get ready for the falling action and some Yaoi, Het, and Yuri!

And no, I'm not done with the girl-girl action. Not by a long shot... hopefully. Long story short, minus spoilers, I just can't figure out how to work it in. My previous idea was shot to hell when I realized that my first choice blatantly likes a male character. I'd completely forgotten about that snippet in the series. I might just say screw it and use her anyway, but I like things to be believable and to actually fit in the original story line... well, as much as possible. Anyway, your reviews keep me strong and truckin'. Bless you all and your typing fingers, for without them I would not have comments to feed my addcition, nor fuel to send my own fingers soaring, and in turn, you would not have story to fuel your own fingers. It's a long, downward spiral. That's why you need to review. :D

And as a challenge to readers just joining in, go ahead and say hi! I swear that the regular reviewers and me won't bite you for reviewing. I why would I bite the hand that feeds me? Or let someone else bit it either?

Anyway, see you next time I have time to sit down and write!


	18. Confrontation

Inuyasha let his eyes slide open to stare at the far wall. It was a dark night; the moon was barely a sliver in the sky and everyone around him slept soundly. Listening to all of his friends breathe, Inuyasha felt he could almost feel the weight of it all, the dark, the presence of so many others, something evil lurking just behind his back, but that sounded too much like when he'd been little, and he crushed the thought.

Truth was, there really was only one thing he could think about, and that was why he was still alive. That and Sesshomaru, which was really strange wasn't it? If he was going to be crazy and want to die, which Inuyasha was sure everyone else would think he was being, why would he even spare a thought to that bastard?

_I mean who the fuck just up and leaves after all that shit? I don't care if Kagome and the rest of them say he's busy. When did he ever care about anyone other than himself in his entire life? He doesn't give a shit about them and he doesn't give a shit about me._

Inuyasha huffed silently, crushing other thoughts in his mind that were tending towards being more kind and forgiving. Screw Sesshomaru. Any other feeling would only serve to get Inuyasha hurt, pissed, or most likely both.

_But then again-_

_Nope! There is no 'then again.' Sesshomaru's a stupid bastard. _

_Really? You are the one arguing with yourself._

_Well I'm fucking bored and since I've been sleeping all blasted day, Now I'm awake!_

_Then I should get up and do something._

_Do what? Ain't nothing to do! _

_But argue?_

_Yes, Dammit!_

Nope. Inuyasha couldn't even be civil to himself, and his thoughts went in wide circles from his brother, to the new knowledge that it was his brother that had pulled him from the miasma most probably in the nick of time, to why he wasn't dead, to his own insanity, and back. Each round had Inuyasha feeling more and more confused. One, if Sesshomaru saved him, keeping up with this kinda consistent act of caring about him, then Sesshomaru wasn't quite the bastard that Inuyasha hated, wasn't he? Two, if Inuyasha shouldn't hate Sesshomaru as much as he did before, then why did he hate him even more, all for not letting him die? Three, He really had to have lost it by now, with all the self-arguing, confusing, stupidity going through his mind, and it wasn't even dawn yet!

The night stayed black, and Inuyasha remained laying on the ground in mental agony and confusion that slowly started to turn towards real exhaustion again. It was then that Inuyasha finally started listening to that small voice that he rarely, if ever, listened to.

_So, it's agreed. Sesshomaru cares at least a little bit. _

_I don't give a shit. _

_And it's also agreed that wanting to die now would be a complete waste of time. _

_That doesn't make sense and I don't care._

_It does so. If I was supposed to die, I would have. I didn't. Naraku is dead. Everyone is fine. I'm a guy again. Sesshomaru actually cares what happens to me. What is there to want to die for?_

_I'm tired, that's why. _

_Well, then it's time to sleep. And in the morning, we'll go off to Sesshomaru, to test just how far he cares about me, and to prove that I care a little bit too. _

_I don't care. _Inuyasha's eyes started drooping, slowly sliding shut again.

_Yes I do. Deep, deep down I've always cared what he thinks. _He shifted over to his other side, resting his head on his arm.

_No. I. Don't. I don't need him to care about me, and I don't need to care about him. _

_Don't need to, But I still do. _

Inuyasha convinced himself very easily that he was too tired to make a comeback to himself, and that it wouldn't matter anyway, since now he was going to be asleep. His escape didn't last long however, for he was awake yet again before everyone else just before dawn. Streaming curses running through his mind, Inuyasha picked his way past the rest of the sleeping group, escaping without waking anyone up. Unfortunately for him, someone else was already awake.

She smiled as she watched the half-demon exit her hut. Such a poor child, even after all that had happened, even sleep eludes Inuyasha. And whatever thoughts were deterring sleep, they had definitely taken over Inuyasha's mind. He was as easy to walk up to as if he'd been unconscious. Poor boy was in for a shock in a few seconds.

"Up for an early morning stroll with an old woman?" Keade smiled as the troubled half-demon whipped around so fast, she thought him liable to trip on his own feet.

"You creepy old hag!"

Well that was to be expected from Inuyasha; only natural that he attempt to hide his startled surprise with an angry retort. "Creepy or not, come." She continued ahead, knowing that, in his own time, Inuyasha would follow. Nonetheless, she was very pleased that Inuyasha chose to follow more immediately than he most usually did. This time he only took _ten_ minutes to stare at her as if she'd grown a set of horns.

"Well, what the hell do you want?" Inuyasha asked very impolitely. She couldn't blame him. She probably would have been in the best mood either with all that inner turmoil.

"So it seems that ye and your brother have meetings other than the battlefield."

Inuyasha blinked. "The Hell?"

"And other than hell as well." Keade smiled in that knowing way of hers that Inuyasha hated beyond anything else the hag was affiliated with. It made him feel like he was a whelp again and as see through as a sheet of glass. While he'd never really been sure why he didn't like being understood as thoroughly as Keade always seemed too, he knew he didn't like it. He didn't like the way women just seemed to look through him and down to whatever he was feeling. He didn't like them knowing how he was feeling. He didn't like not being able to keep secrets from them. And most of all, he didn't like Keade dancing around whatever the hell she wanted to say and ask!

"Then what the hell do you to know about him, or me and him, or what the hell do you want me to do? I won't do it, but what the hell is it?!" Inuyasha growled at her, growled to hide whatever it was she was seeing... no, that she _thought_ she was seeing.

"Well then, if it please ye, I will get straight to the point." Keade laughed softly, another trait of hers that Inuyasha wasn't fond of at the moment. "I think it would be good, for ye and everyone, if ye were to pursue this budding relationship ye seem to have sprouted with your brother."

Inuyasha's jaw dropped, taking Keade's words in an entirely different direction than she intended.

"Child, I have not said a thing so shocking as to be deserving that look."

"Oh ho ho, I disagree you perverted, sick-ass, spinster!"

"Very eloquent, But I believe ye have missed my meaning entirely."

"What else could you mean by that?! But you've got another thing comin' if you think for one second I'll ever chase after that twisted, hentai bastard like a lovestruck puppy! Do you hear me?!"

"The entire village can hear ye, Inuyasha, even though we are no longer in it."

Inuyasha growled at her, gearing up for more characteristic screaming curses, when she interrupted to explain what he'd so obviously missed.

"Ye do enjoy having a family, do ye not? But as unfortunate as it is to say it, it must be said. Those that ye have picked to journey with ye will not live forever. And while I do not know just how long ye will live, I am sure it will be centuries past Kagome's time."

"Shut up!" Inuyasha snapped at her, "What the hell do you know?! Just Shut your Trap!"

"I am not saying ye should abandon them, Inuyasha. By all means, keep your friends, and their future children, maybe even your future children, close to your heart. But there is another who ye should not abandon either, and there is such a small window of opportunity when it comes to the heart. What I have been saying, Inuyasha, is that ye should let your friends return home for a few days, become adjusted to this new Naraku-less world, and ye should do the same."

"And just what is that?"

Keade smiled her wizened, wrinkled old smile that always made Inuyasha think he'd asked the stupidest question in the world, and then she explained. "Go home, my child, to the brother you've always wanted."

Inuyasha paused, staring at her in awe that he masked as disgust, and he huffed before she could think he truly took her words into consideration. "Keh, whatever you old hag. I think you need to go back to sleep. You're going senile."

"Once ye get as old as I feel, you'll realize sleep is for the young."

"And what the hell does that mean?"

"Oh, child, ye do not care yet, and ye cannot yet understand. Let this old woman to her ways, and she will let ye to yours."

"Creepy old hag." Inuyasha muttered in retreat.

"Ye are repeating yourself." Keade smiled, ignoring more strings of unkind comments. She knew Inuyasha's bark was worse than his bite, and that while her message may not have gotten across, Inuyasha definitely would do what was best now that she'd suggested it.

**PAGE BREAK PAGE BREAK PAGE BREAK PAGE BREAK PAGE BREAK**

Inuyasha marched past the ancient well, marking yet another lap in the giant circle he was marching through the forest that bore his name. Just how was he going to put this?

_I'll just shout it at her. "Kagome, Go home." Get it over and done with. The other's will just go, it's Kagome that's going to fight. I know it. That's just how she is. Never does a thing I want her to do without questioning every damned thing._

_Saved my ass on several occasions._

_Still damned annoying! _

Inuyasha sighed. Even if he wasn't the best at hiding his feelings and he was sure everyone read him like a book most of the time, he still couldn't ever convey what he wanted to convey or express what he wanted to express and then people got the wrong idea and it pissed him off. Kagome was going to think he was mad at her, or that something was wrong, when all he really wanted was for her to go home and spend some time with her own family. Dammit, the girl came over here and risked her neck on a regular basis for people she practically just met, and she deserved at least to get to go home after everything was done, right? Had she even gone home yet? Did her family know that the dangers their Kagome threw herself into were past?

Dammit all to hell, He should just say screw it, and let her go off wherever she wanted. But the guilt was killing him!

_I steal her away enough as it is! This time she's going home if I have to kidnap her and shove her there!_

Inuyasha immediately changed his course, hoping that everyone was up by now. Once he was out of the trees, and immediately blinding by glaring sunshine, he realized just how much time he'd wasted and that if they weren't awake by now, screw it, he'd shake them awake! Practically wasted all morning agonizing over stupid Kagome. Part of him hoped now that she would fight, just so he'd get to yell at her now. Speaking of the annoying wench.

"Oi, Kagome!" Inuyasha called out once he'd caught sight of her. She looked up, startled. So did Sango and Miroku. Inuyasha struggled a moment with just how he was going to word this, when he fell back on his original plan. "Go home."

She glanced nervously at Sango and Miroku, and then did something even more confusing. "Great! See you in a couple of days!"

While Inuyasha fought the look of utter and complete confusion, she darted to her bag, hoisted it up to her shoulders and took off towards the well. Inuyasha felt like he'd just been run over by a cart. What the hell?!

"Inuyasha, is there a reason behind that?" Miroku asked. Inuyasha remained oblivious to the hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Was there a reason behind _that_?! Holy shit! I thought the wench was going to fight me!"

"She's hiding something, Inuyasha! We almost had it out of her!" Sango explained with a defeated sigh.

Inuyasha stared from Kagome's parting trail to Miroku and Sango with fresh confusion. "I knew you all were meddling, but don't you snoop about _other_ people, not each other?"

"She's trying to avoid telling you something, and we want to know what's so big she's not speaking her mind." Sango explained again.

Inuyasha blinked in utter confusion.

"It's bad communication. It's what humans do." Miroku added.

"Go home. I don't care where it is, I don't care if you take each other home with you, just take Shippou and go the hell home." Inuyasha rubbed the space between his eyes. Why did attempting to manipulate everyone give him such a headache? "Go home, Relax, Meet back here in a week. Got it?"

"Is something going on that you want everyone gone for a week, Inuyasha?" Damn Miroku and his nosy ability to be... nosy!

"Yeah, I'm sick of making sure you all stay alive! Go home, give me a break, and try not to drive me crazy!" Inuyasha spat at them as the turned around and grumbled as he left them. "I'm half one of you and I'll never understand how you stupid humans live through a day you crazy, prying sons of bitches! I swear on my father's grave you are all insane!"

He marched past Keade and before she could open her mouth to speak, Inuyasha snapped at her with a quick, "Go to hell!" and kept on trucking towards the western lands.

Keade paused, and then shook her head smiling. One couldn't expect Inuyasha to be anyone other than himself.

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"What is Inuyasha doing, coming here?" Sesshomaru growled to himself, glaring off in that half-breed's direction. The brat was still a good day's travel off, maybe two considering just how slow the bastard was. But that didn't answer a damned thing.

"Just what are you doing? What are you thinking? Could you possibly think that you belong here?"

_Well, I want her here._

"I _don't_ want you here."

_Afraid of some challenge? Afraid you'll explode in front of someone more important that his human friends?_

"This Sesshomaru is not afraid of anything."

_Afraid to hope then? What if Inuyasha is coming because he wants to be your sister again. _

"Oh like hell that is happening." Sesshomaru sighed, rolling his eyes at himself. But now that he'd thought the thought...

_It definitely wouldn't hurt to be prepared for his arrival, whatever it is that brings him here._

Great. Now he had to go find that toad of an imp Jaken. It was pathetic really, that such a great lord as him had only that imbecile who could prepare things in the way that he liked best with any consistency. Luckily the imp wasn't a hard creature to find. His annoying affinity for being underfoot usually served to keep him close at hand when actually needed.

"Jaken." Sesshomaru commanded, inwardly taking delight in the flustered way Jaken wheeled about in surprise.

"Yes, my lord? What can your humb-"

"I want you to prepare a room, next to my chambers, to house a very special guest. And I want it done by tonight."

"B-but my lord, there are no guest ro-"

Sesshomaru silenced him with a glare. The imp gulped audibly, and changed his words.

"I mean, of course, my lord. Consider it done."

Sesshomaru pinned the imp with his gaze a few seconds longer before turning to leave back for his rooms when Jaken spoke up again.

"Please, M-my lord. May I ask who it is for?"

Sesshomaru paused in stride. "No, you may not." He was about to continue forward when Jaken put up a good argument.

"I ask so I may better serve to please you and your guest."

While he recognized that wheedling tone that meant Jaken was really asking because he was as curious as a midwife, Jaken had a point.

"My brother is coming. Act accordingly." Sesshomaru turned enough to level his servant with another glare and to silence him before any protest could be made. Once he had Jaken sufficiently shaken, he turned again and returned to the room and balcony he'd been observing Inuyasha's movements from before. Another moment and he had Inuyasha's exact whereabouts pinpointed again. The half-breed was closer, but going the wrong blasted direction.

"My damned palace isn't that far south, you idiot." Sesshomaru grumbled. Then Inuyasha turned west again and he was almost about to verbally praise him for resisting against his lack of common sense when the fool actually started going east.

"The hell?!" Sesshomaru growled a curse in his in impatience. "Are you lost?" Inuyasha turned south again and Sesshomaru rolled his eyes. "Dammit, you are lost, you insolent puppy." In a fluid motion Sesshomaru leapt from the balcony railing and hit the ground running. He'd show the whelp the true meaning of speed. Even if Inuyasha turned and ran now, he'd still be on him in little more than an hour.

Jaken better hope it took Sesshomaru a long time to get Inuyasha back. If that damned room wasn't ready the imp would die.

**PAGE BREAK PAGE BREAK PAGE BREAK PAGE BREAK PAGE BREAK**

Inuyasha stood snarling in the damned forest he'd gotten turned around in. Where the hell was that damned place anyway? It wasn't like he'd ever been to Sesshomaru's castle, or his father's castle or whatever. Were they even the same place?

"Stupid blasted trees!" Inuyasha growled in his frustration and took a few well-placed claw marks on the bark impeding his ability to see where he was going. There wasn't even enough room for Shippou in these woods!

Inuyasha continued trying to walk a straight line through the trees, and failing while he continued making huge exaggerations as to how horrible these trees were and how dense the forest was. At length Inuyasha sighed and turned around to where he hoped he'd just come from was.

"I give up. Damned castle must not be here." Inuyasha muttered under his breath, walking in what was actually a northern direction, not an eastern one. "Fuck Sesshomaru and his bloody demon hovel."

"I'll have you know, it's much bigger than a hovel." Sesshomaru restrained himself from growling. Nonetheless, his tone was less than inviting. And yet, even though seeing Inuyasha had put him in such a foul mood, seeing the way the half-demon yelped and spun around on his feet to face him was... almost comical.

"You like just sneaking up on people like that?!" Inuyasha was attempting a growl. Sesshomaru momentarily wanted to show the pup what a real growl was, but he stopped himself.

"_Inuyasha's my sister."_ Sesshomaru stated in his mind, trying to calm down. He felt it work just a little, and he continued to repeat it.

"Well, you gonna just keep staring at me or what?" Inuyasha grumbled, bringing Sesshomaru back to the fact that he had yet to deal with the insolent brat.

"Follow." Sesshomaru stated calmly though he was a torrent of emotion inside, and he turned to lead Inuyasha out of the thicket he'd gotten himself lost in.

Sesshomaru did not wait. He did not go slowly. He did not set a runt's pace. He wanted to be back home and he was not going to suffer a night out of a warm futon all because his bastard of a brother could not keep up. Once or twice his brother was about to complain about it, but Sesshomaru cut him off coldly and the half-breed soon gave up.

But despite Sesshomaru's grueling pace, they arrived at his home well after sundown. And truly, if Jaken had not followed through on his orders, the imp would die. He'd had all bloody day while Sesshomaru had to go crawling through trees for the stupid half-breed.

And Inuyasha, never having been so physically exhausted in his entire recalled memory, was also in a right foul mood. He was merely too tired to express it. He'd been sure there for a while that he was going to have to lay down and die if they didn't reach the damned place soon. And thank Kami he'd made it.

Barely able to stand upright, somehow Inuyasha did it. Couldn't walk into a den of demons showing weakness, could he? Wait... oh shit! He'd forgotten about that! Great! Just great. Well, it looked like he might still get to lay down and die.

Sesshomaru glared at him. Inuyasha was too tired really to read it as more than a calm look. He took it to mean it was time to start moving again and not just stand there like a moron, so he swallowed the taste of adrenaline away and led the way in the gate. He wanted to get to a room and sleep as soon as damned possible.

Sesshomaru nearly went out of his damned mind. That insolent, stupid brat! First, he can't even find his way here. Second, he could not run faster than a toddler if his life depended on it. And Third, now he marches ahead like he owns the damned place. Sesshomaru charged ahead till the half-breed was back in his place behind him. He turned his head to glare at Inuyasha, to tell the idiot that that kind of behavior was not going to be allowed. But the brat kept a steady gaze in return. Sesshomaru glared harder and Inuyasha actually turned his head like he was looking for someone else Sesshomaru was glaring at. Screw before; NOW Sesshomaru was going to go out of his damned mind!

But thank the gods he didn't. Inuyasha was just a brat. Inuyasha was really his sister. Inuyasha was not about to be murdered in front of every damned servant in the palace. So Sesshomaru took a deep breath and led the dead-half-breed-walking to his chambers, and where Inuyasha's room had to be tucked away somewhere. Sesshomaru though, probably due to his pent up anger and frustration, was unable to discern it easily. He'd have to find it and shove Inuyasha in later. But first, the brat was getting an attitude adjustment.

Sesshomaru gently opened a door that led to his own bedroom, deciding that he didn't want to possibly destroy his study or his balcony or any other of the places that he spent most of his time in. "Get in." This time he growled and didn't care. Inuyasha should realize he was in a great deal of trouble, especially after acting like he ran the show in Sesshomaru's own home. But to his surprise, Inuyasha didn't seem to get a hint at all. He watched, dumbstruck and then enraged just waltzed in, made a beeline for the bed, and promptly flopped down onto it.

Sesshomaru's mind went absolutely quiet. He closed the door with a shaking hand that immediately afterwards turned to a fist. It took him a split second to decide that he was going to bypass swords and kill the puppy with his bare hands, that he was going to do it by ripping out the brat's jugular, and that he was going to do it Right Now.

Before Inuyasha even knew what the hell hit him, he'd been tossed onto his back, his legs were pinned under Sesshomaru's knees, his wrists were being crushed above his head in Sesshomaru's grip, and 4 very sharp teeth were against the skin at the crook of his neck.

Fear was Inuyasha's first mental response, followed quickly by panic. That was until he realized who it was on top of him, just where he was, and how he'd always thought you were supposed to deal with demons. He growled, as deep and feral as he possibly could, and switched his panic to barely controlled rage, a skill he would have been renowned for if anyone had survived learning his secret. And once any trace of weakness he could control was ripped from existence, he turned his rage into strength to attempt wrenching his arms free and throwing Sesshomaru off of him. But he just couldn't do it. His muscles already ached and now they were to the point of screaming at him. He just couldn't throw his brother off. And still those teeth stayed at his throat, dangerous and creating more panic that threatened to betray Inuyasha and overtake him.

"Don't. Move." It wasn't even Sesshomaru's voice. The growl at his neck was too barely restrained to be Sesshomaru, the embodiment of self-control.

"Get offa me!" Inuyasha didn't like the panic he heard in his own voice, but he was too freaked out to care much. This was it. He was going to die. Tetsaiga was right at his hip. He couldn't get to it, but it wasn't going to let him transform and he was going to die right there. Before it was will and anger that had let him override Tetsaiga's purpose and wield it as a full demon, but now he was just building panic and he couldn't turn it around anymore.

"You are going to stop struggling, submit to me, and then you are going to stay in here, on your back."

Even if Sesshomaru sounded more... Sesshomaru-like again, Inuyasha was still freaking out. "Get the hell off of me!"

His brother shifted and pinned him tighter, fangs pressing more dangerously at Inuyasha's throat. Inuyasha shut his eyes tight, absolutely sure his days were done, and then Sesshomaru was gone. Inuyasha froze, and then blinked his eyes open to find his brother truly gone.

Inuyasha moved quickly to a corner, put his back to it so he could see the entire room and no one could sneak up on him and drew Tetsaiga, waiting and at attention the rest of the night.

**PAGE BREAK PAGE BREAK PAGE BREAK PAGE BREAK PAGE BREAK**

Sesshomaru had darted into the closest door, and luckily it turned out he was in his private bath. He took a few deep breaths and moved forward to set the water up for a good long soak.

He... he just couldn't believe it. He'd almost killed Inuyasha, torn the brat's throat out all over the room. But worst of all, the brat hadn't known what was coming. He hadn't expected a damned bit of it, and he'd been so terrified Sesshomaru had actually stopped short of killing him.

And then, if Sesshomaru wasn't mistaken, the brat had gotten angry and started writhing like a serpent, but the whole time Sesshomaru could still smell that hint of fear. Maybe it was that this time, he'd been so close to Inuyasha and that's why he'd smelled it, but Sesshomaru was suddenly hit by the thought, What if that was just some sort of idiotic response to fear Inuyasha did. He'd always thought the brat moronically fearless, a complete fool, but just now... he'd caught the glimpse of what Inuyasha really went through when confronted. Sheer panic, then determined anger, and then desperateness.

Sesshomaru continued to muse over what had just happened, slipping his clothes off and then gliding into the water. After a time, he became aware of the battle preparations Inuyasha had leapt into, huddling in the corner and fidgeting incessantly while he waited for something to jump out at him.

_Well, he's in for a shock. I'm not getting out of this tub for a good long while. _

And yet, Sesshomaru felt guilty and low as dirt. But why the hell should he be the one feeling like crap? Inuyasha was the one that had been so completely defiant!

Sesshomaru lapsed into quiet, soundless replays of memory. He'd glared at Inuyasha when he stopped for no reason. Inuyasha had, in return, moved forward and ahead of him. He'd glared his disapproval, and Inuyasha hadn't realized it was directed at him. He'd open the door to his bedroom, and instead of cowering like a soon-to-be-whipped-puppy; Inuyasha had gone straight inside and laid down.

Sesshomaru blinked at the far wall. Had Inuyasha really been so blind? Or... he'd been tired, hadn't he? Inuyasha had been to tired to realize all the rules he was breaking. Which meant that he, Sesshomaru, was the blind one.

Now that he thought of it, wasn't it obvious that Inuyasha was not up to par. Granted, his body hadn't seem tired, but it was obvious his mind was not there. He should have expected it really, after the way Inuyasha had somehow managed to keep up, even while Sesshomaru had been grumbling to himself about how slow they were going. Actually it was rather impressive. Inuyasha had managed to keep up that far, for that long, and then fool a great demon lord into thinking he wasn't about to drop dead from exhaustion. Even now, when no one was in the room anymore, Inuyasha was still fighting against sleep he had to be just about ready to beg for.

The whole struggle Inuyasha had put up went through Sesshomaru's mind again, and while he felt absolutely awful that he hadn't been aware enough of what was happening to have avoided it...

Oh hell no. He was not going there. The thought of a struggling, writhing Inuyasha, cheeks flushed with effort, hair splayed all over the place in wild, feral passion-

Sesshomaru slapped his hand over his eyes, disgusted with himself. "I am the lowest creature on earth that I can find that half-breed attractive."

But now that he'd thought the thought...

No. This might take a hell of a lot of self-discipline, but he was not going to indulge in something so base, so primitive, so... thoroughly stimulating and exciting.

Sesshomaru sighed in self-disgust and defeat as he reached for the scented soap he used when he just had to indulge in sins of the flesh. Not a single soul would smell or detect a thing and he could let his mind run wild... just this one time. Besides, it would... ease tension and guilt and-

_Oh who am I kidding. I'm depraved and sick and this once I'm going to enjoy it._

Alarmingly easily, Sesshomaru slipped into fantasy, where Inuyasha was just as depraved and filthy, and spread all over Sesshomaru's bedding. While Inuyasha his sister was reserved for chaste kisses, soothing caresses, and gentle pillow talk, Inuyasha his brother was going to be used and abused, and loving every harsh, pounding, throbbing minute of it.

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Whoo! We've made it to the Yaoi! Oh, it just escalates from here people.

BTW, this chapter is absolutely huge because a new reviewer told me how they were looking forward to the Yaoi, and I just had to sit down and deliver. While I was expecting a 2-3 hour writing session, I realized that I still had quite a bit of transition to be writing before I could get to some "luvins", so think of this as ch. 17 part 2, and ch 18 part 1. (well... there's self-luvin! I personally now love Sesshy and his scented soap)

Next chapter, Inuyasha continues to be able to draw out Sesshomaru's passion. Hopefully the Lord of the West will be able to permanently change that passion from anger to something you and me find more productive.

PLZ review and fuel me!


	19. Teenage Angst

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Kagome leaned against the side of the well shrine, heart pounding. She slid down to sit on the floor and hopefully calm down. She tossed her backpack to the side and buried her face in her arms as she hugged her knees.

Why was this so hard? It shouldn't be. Just tell Inuyasha the truth. But how could she know it was the truth? She'd only just found out herself! It could just be a fluke. Yeah! Just a fluke. No need to tell him at all.

But if it was just a fluke, why couldn't she find the courage to tell anybody about it? Not telling Inuyasha would be understandable, but Miroku? Or Sango? Kagome groaned in embarrassment, though no one but her was listening to her thoughts.

Okay, definitely not Miroku. He would probably find it way too hot.

But she couldn't tell Sango either! Sango would never look at her the same way again. She would probably object to bathing together too... or changing in the same room.

It had to be a fluke. Just a response to the first moment of intimacy she'd ever really had. That's all. She was not attracted to Inuyasha... as a girl.

Kagome sighed. Who was she kidding? Ever since that afternoon near the bridge, ignoring the fact that Naraku had almost possessed Inuyasha, Kagome could hardly get that moment off her mind. Well, her thoughts really turned depraved after Naraku was dead and gone and she had been sure Inuyasha would be okay. Ever since Inuyasha woke up, her dreams had been completely overrun with imaginings of what _could_ have happened.

"_What is wrong with me? That is so sick!"_ Kagome groaned again, just to make herself feel better. It didn't work very well.

"_I have to not feel like this. I can't live in this world and like girls. It's not normal."_

Part of Kagome wanted to add that it wasn't right. She couldn't. On some level it hurt to think that. How could it be wrong for her to love a woman, when with Inuyasha it had felt so right?

"_That is so pathetically clichéd."_

Kagome felt like her whole life was pathetically clichéd at that moment. She knew it wasn't true, but the teenager in her felt it, and she didn't feel like fighting it. Better to feel pathetic than to feel that level of wrongness... wrongness and loneliness.

Because if she was wrong, then she was also alone. She couldn't talk to anybody. She couldn't ask anyone she knew for advice. It was like everyone else was on one side of this huge canyon and she was stuck on the other.

That also wasn't true. She lived in a big city. There's bound to be at least a few hundred people who were gay too. But she didn't know any, and if she thought about it, she'd be too afraid to go up to people and find out. Chances were that they would be completely straight, and then hate her for trying to hit on them or something. So, it wasn't true that she was completely alone, but for all intents and purposes, she was. Or at least she was as long as she let herself feel this way.

Kagome heard someone closing the front door to her house. A window must have been open or something, because she could hear her brother start to tell her mom everything he'd done that day. Part of her felt so angry and jealous that Souta could tell Mom everything. He wasn't a gay freak who wanted to get it on with magically transformed he-she's. But after that flare up of anger from absolutely nowhere, Kagome just felt sad and hollow again.

No matter whether she was straight or gay or bi or if she ever told Inuyasha how she felt, Kagome would never get to kiss fem-Inuyasha like that again.

Kagome tucked her emotional loss somewhere deep down, along with her sadness and repulsion of feeling that loss, and took her backpack and her tired soul into her house. She slipped into her room unnoticed by the rest of her family. She changed into clean pajamas, feeling comforted by the modern gesture of it. Changing into sleeping clothes and lying face down on a mattress was so far removed from the world on the other side of the well that Kagome could imagine that it never happened. She could imagine that she was a normal girl, with normal wants and desires. And most of all, she could imagine that she liked kissing Inuyasha better when he was a boy and not a girl.

She sighed into the sheets. Okay, maybe it would be possible for her to make do with men. Maybe she could live without that thrill of making Inuyasha moan and tremble under her hand. Maybe she could just leave women to her dreams.

But it wasn't fair. She wanted Inuyasha as a girl. But Inuyasha was just so unhappy as a girl. It may or may not be right to want to make love to a female Inuyasha, but making Inuyasha be female just so Kagome could be happy was most definitely wrong.

"_That's it. I just have to tell him that I can't love him the way he deserves. After that afternoon, I can't be happy with anything less than a her, and he deserves someone who will love him for exactly what he is, could be, and wants to be."_ Kagome felt her throat tighten up and tears swarm her vision. This hurt. She loved Inuyasha. She really truly did. She wanted the best for him, and she physically wanted her. But having Inuyasha as a her wasn't what was best for Inuyasha. She wasn't what was best for Inuyasha. It hurt so bad, but she had to let him go. She would have to hurt him, and hurt herself, so that she wouldn't hurt them both worse later on.

And then maybe, just maybe, she could wake up and find out that this was all just a horrible dream. What if Inuyasha burst back through the well tomorrow, proclaimed his undying love to her, and begged her to love him as the woman he was supposed to be? It would be like something out of a gay fairytale.

Kagome managed to swallow her tears. She also managed to silence the swarming thoughts in her mind. But she never quite managed to fall asleep.

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Yeah... so...This whole Lesbo-Kagome thing is pertinent to the plot. Don't expect another update for a good long while. I am booked up until March 7. I'm sorry peeps. I would update more if I could, but I can't promise you anything till after that date. I love you all. Keep on Keepin on.


	20. a Kiss, a Kick, and a Cry

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Sesshomaru left him alone the entire night, but still Inuyasha didn't feel ready to relax. Sesshomaru had come at him from out of nowhere! For Kami's sake, he'd been thirty seconds from a deathlike sleep. Inuyasha wanted to cry just thinking about how close it had been, but that was just exhaustion talking. Like hell he was going to break down, here and now, and sob over some shuteye. Then again, the sun was rising. It was another day now. Maybe he would mourn for his sleepless night.

Inuyasha was just about to break down when Sesshomaru finally emerged from wherever he'd disappeared to. Inuyasha tensed, ready for something more akin to their relationship a month and a half ago. He cursed to himself while Sesshomaru approached him. He was so tired his eyes were plaguing him with this annoying spasm every few seconds, and made it damn near impossible to see anything in front of him. Inuyasha pressed as far back into the wall as he could, trying to make Sesshomaru's approach a longer one. It was shaky logic, but an extra inch was an extra… second? …minute? Wait, which one was longer, a minute or a second?

Inuyasha never figured it out. Sesshomaru interrupted his muddled thoughts.

"Inuyasha, I apologize."

Inuyasha's jaw dropped a good 2 inches. _"What did he just say?" _

Sesshomaru fought the urge to retreat a few steps backwards in his own display of shocked confusion. _"What did I just say?"_

Inuyasha stared at his brother in disbelief, who in turn was staring at Inuyasha with equal astonishment, though Sesshomaru hid his bewilderment as quickly as he could. Sesshomaru really couldn't believe it. He was _NEVER_ sorry. He did not apologize. If anyone should be apologizing is should be Inuyasha. Even if Sesshomaru had been too harsh (Which he had been. Sesshomaru saw that now), Inuyasha was still in the wrong. But even worse than that, Sesshomaru also never said anything he didn't mean. He never took anything back and he had no regrets… if one allowed Sesshomaru the blessing of forgetting every mindless blunder that had to do in some way, shape, or form with Inuyasha. Sesshomaru masked the swirl of emotions in his mind as usual behind his stoic Ice Lord's mask, and mentally hoped Inuyasha did challenge his apology. Then when he throttled the brat, he would be in the clear and wouldn't have to regret the brat's death.

"I… You… what?" Inuyasha could not process what was happening. Sesshomaru was just staring at him and he was just staring back at Sesshomaru, with Tetsaiga battered and untransformed between them.

Four paces in front of him, the general consensus in the land of Sesshomaru was that he did not repeat himself, to go along with his philosophy of non-apology and non-regret.

"Did you just say you're sorry?" Tetsaiga dipped lower in Inuyasha's shock-slackened grip. "You? Sesshomaru?"

Sesshomaru growled softly in the back of his throat. Yes, he did just say he was sorry. No, he was not taking it back. No, he was not going to regret it. And hell no did that mean he actually honestly meant that he was sorry. He was most certainly not sorry! Dammit all to hell why had he opened his mouth and said that? Damn Damn Damn!

Inuyasha took a step back, only to find the wall impeding his retreat. Sesshomaru was growling and giving him his death look. "_Please don't come at me again! I just want to sleep…"_

Sesshomaru growled louder. He was so confused. He didn't know why Inuyasha trying to worm away from him upset him so. He didn't even know why he'd just marched in here and blurted out ungodly lies without even thinking. He was so mixed up right now. And… and…

And it was all Inuyasha's fault. If Inuyasha could just cease to be a boil on the world's ass-

Oh for the love of- this was Inuyasha! Inuyasha wasn't a boil on the world's ass! Inuyasha was his dear sweet little sister… Trapped inside the shell of a bastard-coated son of a bitch, of course.

Sesshomaru stopped the growl in his throat once he realized that he was growling at himself audibly. It didn't help his stoic Lord image at all, and it wasn't helping the situation at all. He just needed to calm down, not fly off the handle like he had the night before. Just deep breaths…

This wasn't his brother. This was his sister. This wasn't his brother. This was his sister. This was not his brother.

"_Their eyes are the same."_ Sesshomaru noticed suddenly. "_This is my brother's face, but my sister's eyes. Why didn't I see it before?" _Sesshomaru noticed a lot of things suddenly. Both versions of Inuyasha had the same eyes, the same wild unkempt hair; the same untamable air about them.

They both had the same wild fighting stance and the same look of confident fury in their eyes when the taste of battle was on the wind. Neither of Inuyasha's forms would ever submit, not to anything. In the end, Inuyasha hadn't even submitted to Naraku. The half-demon had broken through impossible odds to rend the chest of the bastard mutant to shreds. Inuyasha was wildness embodied; wildness and an unbreakable will. Even after Naraku, even after the youth's worst experiences, Inuyasha would always return to that. The world had made something hard in Inuyasha; something that could and would happily rival Sesshomaru.

Maybe it was because he hadn't really slept in a great while. Maybe it was because he was still giddy from his bathtub excursion. Maybe it was just because he let himself slip into his own thoughts for the past few minutes and his body was starting to act of its own accord. Nonetheless…

"_HE'S KISSING ME!" _Inuyasha's eyes went wide as saucers. Sesshomaru had slowly started leaning closer towards him. He'd searched his eyes with this strange look on his face. Inuyasha had been mesmerized… and bewildered. He hadn't noticed Sesshomaru's hand at all until it had tucked under his chin to tilt his head. Not that Inuyasha had had any time to register it before Sesshomaru had swept in suddenly and had him by the mouth. Inuyasha was so startled. He wanted to pull away, but Sesshomaru had him against the wall. Inuyasha brought his hands up to push Sesshomaru away. That was when his brother's tongue decided to slip past his lips and start ravaging his mouth. All the strength left Inuyasha's arms and Tetsaiga fell from his hand to clatter on the floor. Sesshomaru's hand slipped back behind Inuyasha's head and tangled itself in his hair. His brother was pressing against him, trapping him against the wall, and Inuyasha was sure if Sesshomaru wasn't, he'd fall to the floor just like his sword.

Then Sesshomaru leaned his head back. Their kiss was broken, and both of them were breathing hard. Inuyasha whimpered before he could catch himself. What had he done? What- this was- no. No no no no NO! This was Sesshomaru! This was his BROTHER! Sessh- he'd- and his tongue- Inuyasha did not know which way was up. But he did know one thing. Sesshomaru had kissed him, and worse, he'd liked it.

Once Inuyasha realized that, all color drained from his face. His stomach that had been doing flips a few seconds ago suddenly switched to heaving.

Without thinking, Inuyasha kicked his knee up _hard_ between Sesshomaru's legs. He shoved the stunned and reeling demon backwards. He bent over long enough to snatch up Tetsaiga and then Inuyasha ran. He ran like all the seven hells were chasing after him. It was worse than the seven hells! He'd just kicked a demon lord in the balls in his own home and all in response to a kiss.

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Sesshomaru stayed there kneeling on the floor. He could have gone after Inuyasha, but part of him was grateful the confusing brat was leaving. The stupid son of a bitch. Of all the things Sesshomaru wouldn't admit to, he'd admit to relationship-nonprowess last, but dammit, even he could tell that Inuyasha had liked that. The brat had gone weak in the goddamned knees for crying out loud! Sesshomaru had felt him nearly tremble in his hands! And it wasn't just some confused physical response. Inuyasha had smelled aroused. It might have only been slight, but it was certainly more than when Sesshomaru had first kissed him. Sesshomaru had nearly choked on the scent his younger brother had smelled so good. There was no way in all the hells that Inuyasha hadn't liked that.

SO WHY THE FUCK WAS HE ON THE FLOOR HOLDING HIS BALLS?

Sesshomaru seethed. If he hadn't let himself get so distracted, Inuyasha would never have landed such a cheap blow. NEVER.

…

Wait a second. There was a bigger question at hand. Why had he just kissed Inuyasha?

…As a man?

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Kagome groaned from the couch. A cramp in her neck woke her from her power nap. She hadn't slept all night, unless you counted the last 2 hours in the living room with the cat. Stroking bouyo had ended up being the only thing that could keep her mind off Inuyasha enough to fall into exhaustion sleep. She sat up, trying to figure out what time it was. Bouyo meowed at her unhappily for disturbing him. It was still a little dark outside. It must be just before dawn. Kagome managed to find the clock on the wall in her bleary eyed state. No, it was six thirty in the morning. The sun should just be up, shouldn't it? As much as it pained her, Kagome forced herself to her feet. She should get in her own bed before her family found her on the couch and asked a bunch of questions. Kagome didn't feel up to questions at the moment. She paused at the foot of the stairs. Her gaze had drifted to the door, and now she stopped, held there mesmerized. Without thinking, she took her foot off the first stair and slowly walked to the door and stepped outside. The air was chilled, and clean. The sun had probably been up for half an hour or more, but not up long enough to get very high above the trees. Dew was still dusted over everything. If Kagome closed her eyes, she could pretend she was on the other side of the well. As she closed her eyes a car drove by loudly, ruining it.

Kagome sighed. She caught herself turning for the well, but she didn't want to go back there. Inuyasha was there. She wasn't ready to face him. But she didn't want to go back inside her house yet either. So Kagome compromised, and went inside the well house. She closed the door and sat on the ground to lean against it like she had yesterday.

"_Oh Inuyasha. Sometimes I think you're so lucky, getting to live in that world everyday. No cars. No school."_ Kagome frowned. "_No shampoo… yuck." _ This required a tired sigh. A sigh turned into a yawn, and before long, Kagome was fast asleep.

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"hmm?" there was a bright light on the other side of her eyelids. Kagome blinked awake, trying to shield her eyes from it. There was a loud crash and the light dimmed away, and then Kagome was held up on her feet staring up into Inuyasha's eyes.

"Inu-?"

Her startled question was smothered by his mouth on hers. Kagome was absolutely stunned. Stunned and really wishing he would stop. His hands had her shoulders in a death grip, and his kiss was so hard it really sorta hurt. This was not pleasant. "_Okay, please stop. Anytime soon. Oh sweet Kami please!"_

When he finally stopped bruising both their lips against their teeth, she found herself in a death grip of a bear hug instead. She was still reeling from the world's worst first kiss ever… er… well… could that be a first kiss? Technically, no… but it certainly felt like one. That had been horrible. Horrible, awkward, sloppy, just no. Yuck.

"Inuyasha? Are you okay?" Kagome managed to gasp without too much delay. A big awkward silence after that was probably not the best way to start forgetting it ever happened.

Inuyasha was mumbling something quick and soft under his breath. Kagome could not catch it for the life of her. "Inuyasha?" She wormed her arms into a position to hug him back and she gave his waist a tight squeeze. "Are you okay?"

She felt him nod his head in the affirmative, but she could tell that Inuyasha was definitely not okay. For one, he was holding her like he would die if he let go, and for two, he was shaking like a leaf.

"Inuyasha, don't lie to me." She held his waist tighter while he continued to crush her shoulders. She heard his voice strangle in his throat. She held him tighter and as she did, his shoulders gave one great shake. He inhaled shakily and it was confirmed. Inuyasha wasn't close to tears, he'd passed that stop about the time they'd finished kissing.

Kagome didn't know what to say. She didn't want to see Inuyasha yet. She wasn't ready to tell him that he could either break her heart, or break his soul. But she never, ever wanted to let Inuyasha cry, not without someone to hold him.

"Inuyasha, it will be okay." She pressed her head to the side of his neck. His shoulders shook again. "It'll be okay. There's no one here."

Kagome whispered things to him, things she thought would be soothing, while Inuyasha slowly let himself cry. His grip on her shoulder's slackened while his own shook and he gasped for breath, but she just held his waist as tightly as she could. He cried as quietly as he could, Kagome could tell. Still he wouldn't let go and let it out. It must be a man thing. Kagome hoped to herself as she murmured soft things against his neck that Souta wouldn't ever grow up to be like this. She'd seen what bottling up all your troubles did to a person. It crushed souls. Wasn't Inuyasha a prime example?

Kagome's look darkened. She hoped nothing ever crushed Inuyasha's soul again, nothing. Not her, not Sesshomaru… Naraku was gone, but could his memory ever truly leave Inuyasha? It had been such a dark time. No, Kagome thought to herself. Naraku's memory would likely stay with him forever.

"I'm here, Inuyasha." Kagome hugged him tightly. She heard him truly let out a cry, without strangling it. She didn't know what that meant. Was her presence bad? Was he just letting pent up emotion out? Well, he'd been the one to come to her. If her presence was bad, there was nothing she'd done to cause it. She let the thought go. "I'm here for you." She pressed her head against his again. He was truly sobbing now.

"I'll always be here for you."

Kagome closed her eyes and just held him, when Inuyasha surprised her.

"You don't know what I've done, Kagome!" He sobbed to her. He hugged her shoulders tighter, his shoulders shaking him as if he were as weak as a child.

"I don't care." Kagome answered. He tried to continue and Kagome cut him off. "I love you. I will always love you." _Just not in the way that I first thought. Not in a way you want, or at least in the way you wanted. But I will always love you._ It was killing her inside, but in the middle of the hurt, there was a strange sort of peace. Oh, the truth was killing, but it was setting her soul free, as tragic and cliché as that sounded.

"Kagome." Inuyasha sobbed and Kagome continued to hold his middle, being the strength that he was momentarily putting aside.

Kagome let him cry for a good while. She didn't let him try to talk again, not until some of this pain had been bled out of him like so much poison. Finally, after they had moved to sit and lean against the well shrine's wooden walls and Inuyasha's sobs didn't wrack his body so violently, Kagome asked her beloved Inuyasha, "What is it that you think you've done?"

Inuyasha pulled his knees up to his chest but Kagome wouldn't let him fully withdraw from her. She shifted closer, putting her arm around his chest to his shoulder and gave him a one armed squeeze. "There is nothing you could ever do, Inuyasha. Nothing."

"Kagome, you don't know what you are saying." Inuyasha's voice was soft. His throat was raw. She could tell from the way he held his head and the way his muscles felt under her hand that he was exhausted.

"If you won't tell me now, then at least come with me. You need to sleep." Kagome didn't know what time it was, but she didn't hear any sounds from her house. Either it was still early morning, nighttime, or early afternoon. The sunlight streaming into the well shrine from the crack in the door told her it was afternoon. "Come on. We'll sit on the couch. Just you and me, and maybe Bouyo will come sit with you too." Kagome rubbed over his arm as she followed it down to his hand. She slowly stood up. "Would you like that?"

Inuyasha let her pull him to a standing position and nodded weakly.

"Alright. The couch it is." She slid open the well doors and led Inuyasha by the hand to the couch. Once in the house, she realized she was starving. She hadn't eaten for most of the night, and apparently the day now too. She sat Inuyasha down on the couch and like the cat had a mind as advanced as Killala, the fat Bouyo was immediately jumping up into Inuyasha's lap and plopping down on the boy's legs like a fur coated blob. Kagome laughed softly. She couldn't tell if Inuyasha was smiling, but his ears seemed to be a little less plastered back to his scalp

"I'm going to go get something to eat really quick. Would you like something too?" Inuyasha nodded and sniffed hard, rubbing his sleeve over his eyes while he held his head down. He was obviously trying to hide that he'd been crying. Kagome figured she would let his pride have this victory. She'd already forced him to vent the majority of his pent up stress.

"Alright. Two ramen cups, coming up."

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_She doesn't know._ Inuyasha thought to himself as he stroked over Bouyo's fat stomach. He tortured this cat, yet it still loved him. It was currently conked out on its back, over his lap, while he had complete access to its vulnerable gut.

_She really doesn't know. Why did I think she would?_ Inuyasha sighed as he dug his fingers into Bouyo's belly fur. Nothing had been right, not a thing, for an entire month.

He was a man, He was a woman. Love was hate and Hate was love. Tetsaiga was to protect him, It was to oppress and subdue him. Sesshomaru loved him, then hated him and wanted him dead. Inuyasha himself had wanted to be dead. He didn't know what he wanted. He didn't know where anything stood anymore.

At least Bouyo would always be fat.

Inuyasha looked over to where Kagome was busy making instant-noodles.

She didn't know what he'd done, and she didn't care. Even the first time, when Sesshomaru had kissed him, Kagome still hadn't blamed him. Granted she had immediately accused Sesshomaru of rape and attempted to castrate him. Despite how dark a time that had been, Inuyasha chuckled. He wished he could have seen the moment when they'd met for battle. Had Kagome's eyes burned with the fires of hell? Had Sesshomaru looked like a startled, slack-jawed idiot?

Inuyasha smiled to himself, scratching at Bouyo's stomach. The cat was falling asleep, the trusting, dumbass.

"Inuyasha? Would you like a soda?" Kagome called to him from the kitchen.

"Sure." Inuyasha slouched farther into the couch. This was really nice. He loved Kagome's time. Kagome and her family babied him, and food was always just 5 minutes away, if that even.

Okay, so maybe he didn't want to die. As long as Inuyasha got to finally… just finally…

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When Kagome returned with food, there were two sleeping boy's on her couch. She 'tsk'ed under her breath and set Inuyasha's food in the refrigerator. She ate her food quietly in the kitchen before fetching a notebook. She wrote a quick note and stuck it to the door she knew her family would most likely be returning through. It was just something to make sure that they came in quietly.

She had tried to sit down on the couch quietly, but Inuyasha must not have been as asleep as he seemed. When she sat down and relaxed into to couch for her own power nap, Inuyasha had surprised her by shifting his hand over to lay over hers. Kagome looked up but Inuyasha's eyes were still closed. She guessed he wanted to be close to her, but still sleep. Kagome smiled to herself. Yes, no more talking. Just some good old fashioned rest. She shifted closer on the couch, taking Inuyasha's hand with her other hand and stretched her closest arm around his shoulders. The exhausted half-demon sank into her. The cat didn't budge from his lap.

_I will always Love you, Inuyasha._ Kagome shifted so that the soon-to-be-slumbering boy could be more comfortable.

_Even if you don't want to be a woman, even if it hurts us both for me to let you go, I will always be ready to hold you, listen to you. I will always, Always, love you._

There was peace in this, Kagome finally decided. With a happy sigh, Kagome let go of Inuyasha, let go of her romantic expectations so that she could go back to basics; pure, simple love.

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Yeah. I know it's been forever. It feels like almost a year. I haven't forgotten about you. I know you are most likely annoyed, and I don't blame you. Regardless, I offer this chapter.

As always, Read & Review!


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